Thursday, August 16, 2012

Curiouser and curiouser

Longtime fans know that there has been speculation (mostly from my friends) that I sleepwalk or even sleep drive, possibly both and possibly in an alternate dimension. You can read about it here, here, and here.
Now, I'm just convinced that my block is somehow like the island in LOST and I just need to accept that strange things happen here and act like it's normal.

Last night, I got home around 10:50.  There was no parking on my street, because some assholes haven't taken their trashcans in from last week and it's trash day again, but that's a rant for another day.  So, no parking, decided to try the perpendicular street, which is usually quite full, both sides, but worth a look see.  Surprisingly, it was not full. Not full, as in it was COMPLETELY EMPTY.  Not a car in sight on either side of the road.  I looked for one of those Temporary No Parking signs, but didn't see anything. I tilted my head like a dog staring at a ceiling fan and tried to remember if it was Monday or Tuesday (it wasn't), but then realized that that didn't matter because street cleaning is 10am to 1pm and all the cars are usually moved by then.  Why was the street empty?? Did the rapture only happen on that street? And why would the rapture take cars, unless it was Car Rapture.  Frankly, I was baffled, but also, I was tired and couldn't be bothered. I didn't want to risk parking there, lest there be something foul at work, and I parked on Wilcox at a metered space that needs to be vacated by 8am.  

I woke early, got myself together and headed to my car just in time to avoid a ticket.  Let me back up a second here.  Last night, I went to a movie with some friends.  I distinctly remember looking at my back bumper because there were two Nissan Sentras parked side by side, and I looked to make sure I was leaning on MY car.  My parking permit was firmly affixed to my car.  This morning, something told me to look at the parking sticker before getting in my car.  I don't know why, I just had a feeling or something.  The sticker has half peeled off.  I scored the sticker with a blade, and they weren't able to get it all off without tearing it, so they gave up.  That's not the weird part. That just pissed me off.  

The weird part was, when I got in the car, the radio was on (I'd been listening to the iPod on the way home) and the parking brake was on.  Now, I don't use the parking brake unless I'm on a hill, which I assure you I was not.  I remember my actions as I got out to the car last night specifically because I had grocery bags to grab, and my purse, and my knitting was falling out. I know I did NOT apply the parking brake.  I even tried to think if someone my purse strap had grabbed the brake and it got pulled up as I got out of the car, but no, I put the strap on my shoulder before looping the grocery bag up on my shoulder, so there's no way that happened.  My co-worker Michael thinks some responsible car thieves borrowed my car, parked it back where I had it, and applied the brake because they're cautious.  Or, my other personality is at it again.  Strange indeed.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Those therapy bills are going to be expensive

Earlier today, I went to the ladies room here at work, and a woman was in a stall with her child speaking in Spanish.  I originally thought she was speaking to the child, but it became clear that she was on a cell phone. I sat. I peed. I got ready to wipe, when low and behold a small head popped under the door of my stall, followed by a small body, completely ignoring my cries of "No, don't come in here."  I had to open the door and shoo him out, which wasn't easy because our stalls are small and I am most certainly not.  Since I was in a wiping position (use your imagination) when he crawled in, I'm sure he got a glimpse of more than he bargained for.  I hope he doesn't have nightmares.

Also, I couldn't help but notice, as I gave the tyke a meaningful shove out the door and continued about my business, that the mother's conversation had stopped and that she was quiet.  Dead quiet.  Nary a peep.  Not even so much as a "get back over here" to her wayward child.  The silence continued as I washed my hands and left.  

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Time sure flies

I began working at my current position in November 2006, and started driving my current route to work in May 2007 after we moved to a new location.  There's a house on a particular stretch that always caught my eye. I get stuck at the light in front of this house all the time.  It's a lovely old house with a circular driveway, which I adore, but what really caught my attention was the family.  One morning, the mom was heading to the car with a toddler in her arms, tucked him into the car seat, kissed the dad* goodbye, and drove off.  They are what my sister used to refer to as "The Pretty Family."  The scene was just so sweet, yet so mundane that it stuck with me.  

Over the years, I noticed some changes.  Mom got a new car (a Mercedes wagon).  Dad must have gotten a new job or a new schedule because he was leaving at the same time now. The little one was growing.  It was kind of like watching a very long, very slow movie montage of years passing.  But, like all things that you see every day, I eventually stopped noticing the pretty family on the corner.  Until today.  I was stuck through two lights and watched the mom apply sunscreen on a now very grown up child.  I swear, the kid looked like he was about eight or nine, although he couldn't be more than six--six and a half tops.  There's a dog now, too.  And my first thought was, "aww, look at how big he's gotten," followed immediately by "Holy Crap! How long have I been driving this route? That kid is practically in High School."  

It doesn't feel like five years. How can time have passed by so quickly?  

Monday, August 06, 2012

Ravellenic Games--Endurance Knitting Made Fun

If you're a knitter, you've heard of the Ravellenic Games.  If you're not a knitter, you've probably heard of the brouhaha over knitters using the word "Olympics" and thought, "whatever Grandma."  This post is about knitting, and also about my being an idiot.  Fun for everyone.

So, last time we held a Knitting Competition Whose Name Was Changed was for the Winter Olympics of 2010.  I captained my team. I encouraged, I got them psyched.  And then a tragedy happened and I couldn't compete.  Well, I could have, but I was kind of preoccupied and didn't get any knitting done.  This time, Summer Olympics 2012, I was ready. I said, "I WILL complete my projects. I WILL lead my team to victory." Victory over what? I don't know. 

I cast on for some fingerless mitts and finished the first one in record time.  Mitt #2 took a little longer, but still pretty quickly considering my usual finish time.  Here's what they look like, unblocked.  I'm very happy with them. 

Yes, that time is correct.  By the time I was done weaving in the ends, it was 6:30am. I immediately cast on for my next project, as I was already behind schedule.  The next project just happened to be the Parseltongue Hat by Tiny Owl Knits.  I got a few rows in then decided I'd sleep a bit before heading over to Lauren's for a little Team WeHo Knit-a-thon.  I went to bed at 7:50am and set my alarm for Noon.  My sister called at 8:07am.  One thing led to another and I only got about an hour and 45 minutes of sleep before heading out to knit.  At Lauren's I made the statement that I "wasn't feeling the cables."  I should have listened to that feeling.  I came home, picked up my knitting and trudged on.  On about row 26, just before the snakes start, but after two rows of cables had already been done, I noticed something was off.  If the pattern says *P2, K12* and you repeat between * and *, shouldn't one end with a K12 and not a P2?  I started looking it over for mistakes and found this.  

Do you see that piece of yarn stretched across?  That's where I skipped an entire needle while working on the double points, or about 24 stitches.  It's about six rows down.  Balls!!  It's such a rookie mistake.  I started to unknit them, because no one wants to try to rip back and pick up stitches when cables are involved.  I unknit one round, which included cables and found that no only had I missed those 24 stitches, the cables I had just knit were completely wonky.  Some were twisted the wrong way, one was just slipped and not knit, one--well, I don't even know what I did wrong on that one, but it took me 20 minutes to figure it out.  In the end, I just ripped the whole thing out and started over, but AFTER I got a good night's sleep.  

Whoever said knitting was relaxing was full of crap.