Thursday, September 11, 2008

Can I get a cot near the drumkit, please?

Sleep was not my friend last night. I missed my alarm, so Shower and I missed our rendezvous this morning. Washcloth and I had a quickie and Hair went to it's happy place in an elastic at the crown. Makeup? Well, it never even crossed my mind until my first trip to the ladies room and then just theoretically. What caused such wanton disregard for personal hygiene? CNN (shakes fist angrily in the direction of Larry King Square).

I have to preface this story with some quick background. My alarm clock is a Big Ben Moonbeam which wakes one with a flashing light (unless you ignore it and then it beeps). I could sleep through a Motorhead concert but shine a light in my eyes and I'm wide awake. Even with my back to the clock the flashing fills the room and wakes me. Conversely, I don't like a pitch dark room because (don't you judge me) I'm kind of afraid of the dark. I like a little light from outside, like streetlights, shining in my window. Let me repeat that for emphasis--a LITTLE light.

I went to bed late last night because I was working on a project and was cranky tired when I hit the pillow. The CNN signs at the four corners of the building used to be your standard white lights behind red plastic covers. Recently, though, the signs have changed. Now, they start as a solid red sign and a white light that burns with the power of a nuclear reaction starts at the top of the C and traces the letters, holds that position, and then goes back to red. It's bright. Seriously bright. And even from two blocks away it lit up my whole room. I felt like Kramer in that Seinfeld episode with the Kenny Rogers restaurant. I turned away from the window but the flashing still reflected off my white walls. It was killing me. Okay, I can see you don't believe me. Here are some photos. This one is taken from my bedroom window at normal power. It's not clear, but you get the idea.This one is zoomed a bit. The red hook looking things are lights around the top of the building presumably to warn aircraft which are not necessary as clearly those signs are visible from space. I tossed. I turned. I cursed the sick bastards who installed those signs (I get a view of the back sign, too, but the trees block most of it). Finally fed up, I reached for a velvet eye pillow that someone gave me once. I never use it because it's filled with lavender and the scent is overwhelming but what else could I do? [This is the part of the story where, if this were a movie, the audience would say "oh no...don't do it.] The soft velvety pillow which finally blocked out the evil flashing sign also blocked out the good flashing alarm clock. The beeping woke me eventually and I rushed off to work.

Don't get me started on the freakin' helicopters. LA, you are officially on notice. I will not put up with this.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Still standing

Just a quick note to let you (especially Natalie) know that I survived the cramps. It's been a busy time. Filing got done. America's Next Top Model, Cycle 11 has begun, as has Gossip Girl's new season and the new 90210. (I do love me some CW)

I'll try to have something interesting for you soon.
Love you. Mean it.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

(too illin' to think of a title--deal with it)

I have had soooo much to do at work and I still haven't learned to say, "I have a lot on my plate right now. Is that a priority over these items?" or "I don't think I can get that done in a timely manner. Can anyone else do it?" Because truth be told, the boss kind of intimidates me--just a little, not so much that I cower or anything, but it's certainly not like my Tower boss, with whom I could communicate openly. It doesn't help that this boss is on so many committees and has so many meetings that things just naturally get passed along to me. Great! Not to mention the fact that, like my mother, I'm not much of a delegator and am of the "if you want something done right, do it yourself" frame of mind, so I take on tasks such as cleaning up the storage room to make room for donations (which I could have passed on to the Events Manager's assistant, but I've seen how she puts stuff away and it doesn't work for me). In the process of doing that I (a) smashed a knuckle which is now purple, (b) twisted my knee which now hurts like a #@%^$, and (c) realized I have no strength in my arms anymore as I could not life a box above my head.

So, I have this box of filing that needs to be done. I mean a moving box, not an In Box. It's ridiculous, really. I was going to go in today and just concentrate on the filing. No one else would be there to distract me. I could spread out in the conference room and separate the papers into piles. I would have the file storage room to myself so I could move freely and not bump into the temps. It was going to be great.

Then the migraine hit me. Oh, it's powerful bad. And the playful police officer testing his siren and loud speaker at 7:00 this morning with "shave and a haircut" didn't help. I was halfway down the stairs in my PJ's before I thought better of yelling at the police. I came back upstairs, doped up on the Excedrin Migraine and went back to bed.

Then the cramps came. Oh, how I enjoy being a woman. I am doubled over and close to vomiting. I have a pretty high pain threshold. I can work through a lot of pain before it's unbearable. These make me want to cry. These make me want to take Midol, which I haven't used since I was in 8th grade. NO, these make me want to smoke pot--medicinally, of course, as I don't smoke anything on account of my sad little lungs. I have this nifty heated rice bag that my sister made for me laying upon my nethers and it's not helping. Plus I really do want to vomit. Now!!!!!
[Experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.]

Phew. So, if anybody needs me today I'll be curled up in bed. Tomorrow, I'll be at the office filing until I can't file no more. I hope y'all have a better weekend.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

I didn't wanna play anyway

I'm having one of those "series of unfortunate events" days. Meeting cancelled last minute. Second meeting ran long. Restaurant where lunch was ordered doesn't deliver. Person sent to pick up food decided to order herself lunch causing everyone else's lunch to be late and arrive AFTER the lunch meeting. Lunch order was wrong. And perhaps the worst event of all, I missed the Fantasy Football Draft because the commissioner couldn't wait five freaking minutes for my meeting to end even though we had previously discussed the meeting situation!!
So, Thank You Will and Natalie's husband, Joe, for your advice, even though I won't get to put it to use.

Monday, September 01, 2008

It's Laundry Day!

Holidays are the perfect day to do laundry. No kids, lots of empty washers, plenty of dryers, tons of parking...ah, I love it. Know what else I love? Single folks like me come out to do their washing. I love watching single men do laundry. It's always entertaining. Today's fool used the big washers (at $3.50 a pop) to do single loads. Look at all that wasted space. These washers are meant for 4 loads. And look at how much detergent he used.That is far too much soap for a single load. My washer is on the end. Jam packed to make use of the four load washer capacity. Oh, and he put the fabric softener in during the wash cycle. Doesn't he realize that all the softener will just wash out? Fool. Here's one more in which he used the bigger FIVE load washer (at $4.50) to wash a single load of whites.
It's as if he didn't want to venture further into the laundromat than he had to so he just picked the first machines he came to and these are just inside the doors. It boggles the mind why a person would want to spend $11.50 as opposed to $3.75 but I guess that's his business.

Close encounter with Frau today. It was 10am and I thought to myself, "I'd better trot downstairs with the rent check before the Frau comes a-knocking." I planned to sneak it into the rent box and run back upstairs but--Dang--there she was collecting the checks already. Crimony lady, it's a holiday. Fortunately, she was preoccupied with a man who I am assuming is moving in next door to me since nutty Lori is moving out. I can't remember when a tenant lasted a year in that apartment. Maybe it's cursed. Maybe they just can't handle the gnomes. Wimps.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Oh, did I tell you what I did Thursday?

No? I went to the races with my Tower friends! You may remember from this post, we Tower folk used to make an annual trip to Del Mar to watch the horses race (mostly to drink and bitch about the corporate guys). Well, Tower may be no more, but we refuse to see the tradition die. Our group may have been smaller this year (15 of us) we still had a great time. Look at the horses for the first race:Can you see the #3 horse? IN THE POCONOS!! How could I not bet on that horse? Sadly, she didn't win. However, Mystic Seaport, on which I also bet, did come in third so I made a few bucks back. My biggest win of the day came in the 4th race where I won a whopping $24.80 by betting on all three of the winning horses across the board. Jarod was a big winner by betting a Trifecta and we all jumped on his bandwagon. It didn't help. I ended up losing for the rest of they day.
Even though Jarod, Alex and I were the only ones going all the way back to LA, we still made the most of the time we had on the train. We did get to keep Valerie, Scooter, er, I mean, Scott, and Steve Miller (who didn't sing for us this year) all the way to Fullerton, though we lost folks along the way. Special thanks to the lovely Marnie Carvalho for being the point person and getting this whole thing organized. And thanks to everyone else who made it, including Jared Owen representing the San Diego faction, Irene, Carlos, Marnie, Ben, Jeff, and Conan bringing the OC flavor, and Ron and Rick, who made a cameo appearance before disappearing into the mist (was he really there at all?). Valerie is a sad clown (with her Baby Bel cheese wax nose) because we don't spend nearly enough time together.

As for Del Mar? It seemed quieter, as if the magic has gone out of visiting the track. The infield bar didn't have the special cups for the Del Margaritas or Rumrunners, so I just drank beer. There were only two actual people taking bets with the rest of the windows being "manned" by computers which didn't work half the time and were incredibly frustrating. Give me the cranky old guys at the betting window any day. At least we still had our favorite picnic table behind the info booth.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Calling all Football Fans

Peer pressure is bitch. I've been sucked into participating in a Fantasy Football league. Unfortunately, I don't know football. Yeah, I know, I was a cheerleader but that was really all about looking cute and being loud (both of which I did with aplomb). Plus I had my best friend, Joann, who lived and breathed football (she won a punt, pass and kick contest) and told me when to do the "first and ten, do it again" cheer. So I appeal to all of you out there who follow football (even those of you who NEVER comment--please, I'm desperate): GIVE ME YOUR PICKS.

Apparently, I have to choose players for my own personal team and decide who plays that week and pay attention to yardage and rushing and--ow! My head hurts just thinking about it. Won't you take pity on the sports challenged? Just give me some good names in the comments section. I don't know good from bad. I just know there are two Mannings and Brett Favre only pretended he was retiring. And I always bet on the Browns because "Cleveland Rocks."

Clearly I need help.