That's the 1970's

Yesterday at work, several new employees were waiting in the lobby for the training to start when one gal said to another, "I love your boots. They're so cute."  

"Oh, thanks," she replied. "They were my grandmothers."  I stood up from my seat at the reception desk to take a look at the cute boots, expecting to see something like this. What I saw was more like this. The booted young lady went on, "yeah, I was wearing a pair of Uggs, but my grandma said 'oh, wait, I have a better pair of boots for you,' and pulled out these."  

"They're real nice," said the first girl.  "They're in good condition."

"Yeah, They're from, like, the 70's too," said the second girl.  

The 70's!!!  Her GRANDMOTHER wore them in the 70's.  I had to ask--"How old is your Grandmother?  How old is your Mother??"

"My mom is 41, and my grandma is 62."  And then I felt super old and cried in my Metamucil.

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind man, eh?

Trivia night at Barney's Beanery in Westwood is always packed.  Well, I imagine Barney's is packed every day of the week, but on trivia night, seating is at capacity and we always have to scramble to find a seat.  Last night, we sat at the bar.  The bar seats are old car bucket seats, which while comfortable, made me feel incredibly short as my feet did not touch the step.  Also, the mid-level bar (walk in, up the stairs to your left) is served by the downstairs bartender who CLIMBS A LADDER TO SERVE THE DRINKS!!  I kid you not. She has one of those sliding ladders like you find in the library (or as our bartender pointed out, Beauty and the Beast) and she climbs the ladder then leans down to pick up the beer and then reaches up to serve it.  How is that even remotely safe?  To make it worse, the mid-level bar patrons are provided a variety of tools to summon the bartender, such as bicycle bells, hotel bells, and the super-annoying old car horn.  That poor girl.  We tipped her well.

But this post is not about the bartender or the crazy mid-level bar.  Christina and I (there were only two of us) sat at the bar and chatted with a lovely young Brit before trivia started.  She was Asian and the accent kind of threw me (yes, I know that's incredibly racist), kind of like the first time Cho Chang spoke in the Harry Potter films.  She was sweet and we broke the sad news to her that she could not use her old iPhone from England on her new T-mobile plan.  Anywho, trivia started, her friends arrived, so our conversation stopped.  

A round or two later, a British accent on my right said, "So, 'ow you doing so far?"  I turned, expecting the sweet girl from before, and was faced with an extremely inebriated Camilla Parker-Bowles the early years.  I recovered quickly and said, "well, we're sucking right now, but there's time to catch up."  To which Camilla replied, "Sometimes sucking is a good thing, eh? Know what I mean?" with an elbow to the ribs.  "These questions are too American, but if anything British comes up, you come to me (wink)." Suddenly she became Eric Idle and I was in the middle of a Monty Python skit--as the straight man! I'm never the straight man.  I smiled, nodded, and turned away giving Christina the "save me" eyes. 

Drunkmilla turned to some hapless man on her right and I was safe.  Although, we still sucked royally for the night.  I won't tell you the score; it was humiliating.  So much so that we considered leaving before the last round because it wasn't going to help our score any, but stayed because the last round was a music round and we always do well with those. It didn't help.  

Virgo Love

Today is my brother Michael's birthday.  Happy Birthday, Big Brother!!!! I love you!

As I mentioned before, I have an affinity for Virgos.  I get them like no other sign.  So, in Honor of Michael, here's a partial list of famous folks who were also born on this day.

Film Industry:
Keanu Reeves
Salma Hayek
Mark Harmon
Linda Purl
Martin Miller (I don't know him either, but that's my Dad's name and I thought it was funny)
Hal Ashby (director of Harold and Maude)

Athletes:
Lennox Lewis
Jimmy Connors
Peter Ueberroth
Terry Bradshaw

Regular Folk (fame questionable, except Christa McAuliffe)
Christa McAuliffe
Harvey Levin
Robert Shapiro
Camille Grammer

And that's just a smattering*.  Do you know someone born on this day?  If so, tell them I said Happy Birthday, Virgo.


*Wait until you see the rogue's gallery of folks who share my birthday.  

So Damn Quotable

On Twitter today, two of the folks I follow mentioned the movie Speed, quoting from it.

I quote Speed all the time, too. I love the "But I'm taller" line when he cuts off Dennis Hopper's head with the light in the subway tunnel. My friend hates that line, but it's one of my favorites. I also quote Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Point Break, and The Matrix way too much.  So, what is it about Keanu Reeves's movies that makes them so damn quotable?  Do you have any favorite quotes from these films?  

Best. Game. Ever.

I went to dinner with my friend Christina last night and she innocently* suggested we play a game afterwards since her roommate was going to be home and all.  It's a game she had mentioned before but we never got around to playing.  The game is called "You evil whore! How could you block my road?!"  No, no, I kid.  It's called Settlers of Catan.  Now, it's been around forever, so I'm sure all of you are going, "oh yeah, that" with a bored eye roll.  I, however, had never heard of this game before Christina mentioned it in passing a few times, and certainly never knew or imagined how much fun it could be.  

Photo courtesy of Walking Wounded blog

If you've never played, it's just the best game ever.  It's kind of a cross between Risk, Monopoly, and Go Fish. You have to build houses, roads, and settlements and collect resources, which you can trade with other players. I annoyed the bejesus out of Christina and Becky by asking for bricks in the voice of Kaitlin from SNL.  "Does anyone have any BRICK! BRICK! BRICK!"  And broke into giggles every time someone said something like, "I need wood" or "No one is getting any wood this round."  Yes, I'm 12.  

Guess what?  It's available online and as a phone app.  I may never be productive again.

*She wasn't innocent.  She knew exactly what she was doing.

The really important things we discuss at work

On the phone with my boss, who suggested I take lead on yet another project, I said, "If you give me any more projects you're going to find me at the bottom of a bottle."  To which she replied, "Like a genie?"  Then our discussion devolved into truly important things like:

1. Where did Jeannie pee?*  I mean, she was stuck in that bottle with nothing but a round sofa.(although we both agreed that as children we totally wanted a bedroom like the inside of her bottle)
2. Where did she sleep?** I can't imagine the back pain one would wake up with having slept on that curved sofa all night.
3. What did Jeannie eat that whole time she was stuck in the bottle before Major Nelson found her?***
4. And why were the evil cousins on TV back then always brunettes? (I'm looking at you,too, Bewitched) Brunettes are not evil.

Yes, these are the things my boss and I talk about instead of work.****  What do you talk about with your boss?

*We decided she must have had a small bathroom on the side of the bottle we never saw.

**It must have been a sofa bed, which led to "how did she find sheets to fit?"

***She's a genie. She could blink in food. (which led to why couldn't she blink herself out)

****Yesterday, we talked about spam, Viagra, and the "enlarge your manhood" ads.

More Comic Coincidences

Wow, I suck at this whole NaBloPoMo thing.  I've got so much to do today due to brain vacancy last week, but here's a little comic relief to hold you over.

Two unrelated comics with virtually the same content.  Frogs are funny.  I like "The Barn" more, but the graphic wetness of the frog's tongue in "Over the Hedge" sells it more.