In honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day, I give you the following exchange between my famous nephew Roy and I:
2:31 PM me: Arrr, shiver me timbers, it be cold as a kracken's heart in here.2:32 PM (ps...it's talk like a pirate day) Roy: Arr, I here there be titties pert as the whitecaps off of Maine on this fine afternoon2:33 PM me: you win
I told Roy that my former roommate and I pioneered Pirate Day back in 1993 or so when we drove around town defacing the campaign posters of our county treasurer, whom I'm sure is a lovely woman. She ran unopposed every year and yet her team campaigned vigorously, placing posters far and wide throughout Monroe County. One night in a fit of mischievousness Bruce and I, dressed in black and armed with giant poster markers, drove all over drawing eye patches, beards and moustaches on poor Claudette's posters. At one point while we were pulled over about to do the deed, a cop pulled up behind Bruce's car to see what we were up to. Bruce dropped to his knees and pretended to be doing something to his tire, explaining to the officer that he heard a funny noise and thinks a rock was under the hubcap. The officer drove away and Bruce sprinted up the small slope, did his best
Daffy Duck, and was back behind the wheel in seconds. We laughed ourselves silly until we found the next poster. The local DJ mentioned Ms. Segear's makeover on the morning show the next day which just made us giggle conspiratorily. Perhaps my favorite piece of art was the one I passed every morning on my way to work, which looked a bit like this:
And we were never caught...until now. Although they don't know our last names. Hey, family, you'd better keep your mouths shut. Bruce, if you're out there and you find this and know it's me, I had the best time that night and pretty much all the time we lived together until, you know, the end. You always made me laugh and smile until my face hurt and I miss you for that.
In other news, Dessert Day was a rousing success. We had peach cobbler, pound cake with black raspberries, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cake, cookies and cream cake, strawberry shortcake, strawberry cream pie, chocolate covered strawberries, red velvet mini-cupcakes, lemon bars, my brownies (which sucked, btw. I'm so embarrassed), the chocomole (which didn't suck and everyone loved, thanks J), and ice cream. I didn't get a chance to have lunch before the sweets were unveiled so I sit here with a tummy full of sugar. I could have gone for lunch afterwards, but I want spaghetti with fresh homemade tomato sauce and nothing else will do. Guess who's going to the store after work?
Please excuse the blurry image. You get the idea. See how half, nay, most of the car is sticking out of the space. There is no driver in that car. That's how she parked it. She was in all kinds of a hurry to get to the gym. She impatiently jabbed at the elevator buttons. I thought to myself, "Maybe the spot was too tight to fit her car. She wouldn't have been able to get out." Then I saw this view on my way back to my car. 
There is plenty of room to fit her whole car in the spot. There is plenty of room to exit her car without hitting the other car, especially since she was a tiny little thing about 3" wide. Nope, she was just impatient and decided she didn't need to park properly. But you know that if some car whipped around the corner and hit her car, she'd be up in arms and never take responsibility for it.
