Friday, December 30, 2011

LAPD's New Wake-Up Call Service

It was already a restless night with several bizarre dreams and a headache that wouldn't go away, so I was in no frame of mind to receive a 5am phone call.  All of my family members are either in Pennsylvania or Illinois, and calls at that hour usually mean bad news.  But my family knows to call my cell.  This was my home phone.

The handset on my home phone is broken, so I can't answer the phone.  I have to wait for the caller to leave a message.  This is the message I received:

"This is an emergency message from the Los Angeles Police Department.  In the past three hours, LAPD's Hollywood Division has had approximately 11 suspicious vehicle fires.  You are requested to report any suspicious activity by calling 9-1-1, or (800 number)."  

I've lived in Hollywood for 16 years and have never once received an emergency message phone call from the LAPD.  To say it was disconcerting is an understatement.  As I climbed back under the covers to try to get that last hour of sleep before my alarm, I heard a series of sirens, helicopters, and police cars racing by.  Needless to say, I didn't get that last hour of sleep in.  To make matters worse, my friend's car is parked at my place while she's back east visiting her family, so I lay awake listening for strange noises out front and periodically checking to make sure our cars were not, in fact, on fire.  

It seems like the arsonists were concentrating on cars parked under buildings in carports, with the exception of Jim Morrison's former "Love Street" home, which sustained damage from a car fire that did not start in a garage. I'm selfishly glad I park on the street and right across from the Hollywood Division station.  My heart is going out to all those people whose cars were destroyed and apartments damaged.  

Thursday, December 22, 2011

After tonight, I don't intend to go anywhere until Sunday

I took the day off to run a bunch of errands.  Not shopping errands, but legitimate things like renewing the visitor parking pass so Christina can park at my house, and returning a library book to a library that is not open late.  Unfortunately, I fell asleep on the sofa last night and then didn't get up early today like I wanted.  By the time I showered and got dressed, there was no time to do anything, except drive my friend to the airport.  Her flight left at 4:30, but she wanted to get there early since she just had surgery and moves slowly.  

We left my house and got on the 101.  I know. What was I thinking?  I was thinking I'd take the 105, since I can take the carpool lane with passengers. That's the freeway from Speed that "is finished on the map."  I guess everyone had the same idea because 20 minutes later we hadn't even made it to the Vermont exit.  Crappity.  So, we exited at Vermont (when we got there), headed south, and took the 10 to the 405, which was much smoother sailing.  I got Christina to the airport by 3:00, which is not as early as we'd hoped, but still plenty of time.  

Then, I decided to stop at the LADOT office on Pico to get a parking pass, so I headed back up the 405.  Or rather, I sat on the 405 forever until finally being able to exit on National and get my arse to Pico and Roxbury, where I secured rock star parking right up front and was in and out in five minutes.  

But I didn't make it to the library and now I'll have to pay a fine for Modelland.  

Monday, December 12, 2011

My Muse needs an intervention and an off switch

Here's an excerpt from an email I sent my sister a week or so ago:

I'm in full-on crazy knitter mode right now.  My muse (she inherited all the crazy from those southern women in our background) decided at 1am Saturday (11/26) morning that I absolutely HAD to make something (a specific something that shall remain a mystery for now), and that this something needed to be done by December 1st.  Four days?  No problem since I don't have anything to do at all.  Christina laughed at me and said, "Why on earth would you even attempt that?"  Christina clearly does not have a muse, or at least not a crazy ass Southern one like me.  "

That project?  I gave up. It's obvious I was only fooling myself if I thought I'd actually get it done in time for Christmas (December 1st was a pipe dream), or even my sister's birthday, which is December 30th.  I'll complete the project for next Christmas, but for now, I'm on to Plan B.

What's Plan B?  Well, my crazy muse decided I needed to learn a new knitting technique, master it, and make gifts for everyone on my list.  She decided this yesterday at about 11:30am.  I learned the technique.  Master?  We'll see.  But I have started one of the gifts.  I have to download a pattern for another one.  Oh, and there's these mittens and gloves I've yet to finish.  Damn, what is my problem?  And there's the so-soft-and-pretty-I-had-to-buy-it yarn I picked up last week, because I need to make myself something, right?  Did I mention the Holiday cards I'm making?  Because it seemed like a good idea?

Please, if you see my muse, get her black-out drunk, then lock her in a closet somewhere.  I do not need any more projects at this time.

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

You say pretty tree; I say seven feet of fresh cut evil

It's that time of year again, when folks feel the need to litter public places with pine trees.  The lobby of our office building has been sporting wood since the day before Thanksgiving.  It was only a matter of time before my co-workers decided to spring for a tree for our own marbled entrance.  Damn you all.  

Before you think I'm all Scrooge-like and Grinchy, I'm not.  I'm super allergic to pine trees.  I know, it's ridiculous and it sucks. Just ask my siblings who had to settle for a fake tree every year. Eventually, I built up a tolerance while living in Northeast Pennsyltucky, but I've been away from the flora and fauna of the Poconos for some time now.  I just can't handle the pine anymore.  Unfortunately, I have to cover our front desk for an hour every day while the receptionist goes to lunch.  

About 20 minutes in, my head gets instantly stuffy, my face flushes, my throat gets scratchy, and my eyes start to burn.  Yes, I can ask someone else to cover, but not every day for the entire month of December. We just don't have that kind of staff.  I really should put my foot down and tell them, "No,  you cannot put a fresh tree in the lobby if you want me to continue my duties," but I'm basically a pansy and I don't want to sound like a bitch.  I mean, no one believes I'm allergic in the first place.  "What? How can you be allergic to Christmas trees?" has been the usual response.  

Next year.  Next year I'll put my foot down.  

Monday, December 05, 2011

This is payback for those ten years of feeling smug about not having to deal with parking in LA.

I'm pissed. No, that doesn't cover it. I'm FURIOUS!  Here's the story:  I got a hankering for something sweet last night around 7pm and headed out to 7-11.  As it was dark and my neighborhood isn't the best, I decided to drive. I got in the car, looked up and saw  a parking ticket on my windshield.  What?  Dude, why did I get a ticket?  I have a permit. I'm not parked in a driveway. It's not street cleaning day. Why?  I looked at the ticket and it said "Preferential Parking," which is silly because I have a parking permit, it's right there, see?  
That's me, all slack jawed, because someone stole* the parking sticker off the back of my car!!  Stole it! Right. Off. My. Car!  Now, the sticker is useless to them because even if they DID manage to get it to stick back on a car and look like new, not stolen and reapplied, the sticker has my plate number on it.  Of course, that is only a problem if the parking enforcement person actually compares the sticker to the plates.  I'm doubting their diligence as I have seen cars with other districts parking permits not get tickets and also because the ticket I have in my possession says my car was parked on Leland Way when it was actually parked on DeLongpre (a parallel street).  

So, now, I'll be spending my lunch hour at the parking office trying to reason with them about not getting this ticket, and paying for a replacement sticker, which I will affix with superglue and then score like folks do with their registration stickers.  Why does this shit always happen when I can't afford it?  Balls!!!

*I say it's stolen because in six years of car ownership and parking on this street through all kinds of weather and countless car washes, I have never had a sticker just fall off.

Friday, December 02, 2011

"Best Selling" is not synonymous with "Really Good" (Or "The Empress's New Clothes")

Long time readers know I love me some "America's Next Top Model."  It's pretty much the ONLY "reality" TV show I watch (mostly because I don't have cable, but also because I love Miss Jay).  This past Wednesday, Tyra had the four finalists posing and acting out scenes or themes (I was unclear) from her own work of fiction, Modelland.  Yes, my friends, Tyra Banks wrote a novel.  I'll pause here while you recover from this news.  

The scenes she had the girls doing were ridiculous and became more and more absurd.  Finally, Christina, who was watching it with me, and I decided we NEEDED to read this book, if for no other reason than to openly mock it.  I searched every library in the city and county and found two copies at two separate branches.  They are now in my possession.  

I have read the first chapter, and while I don't want to give anything away because Christina hasn't started reading yet, I think my title up top gives you an idea of what we're up against.  Remember, TyTy...even Snooki "wrote" a best seller.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I suspect arson

I haven't used the microwave at work since last week as I was taken to lunch on Monday and completely forgot to eat yesterday.  So, when I opened the door to use it today, I was shocked at the general filth I found inside.  Apparently, someone one wasn't paying attention and whatever they were cooking caught on fire.  The entire inside of the microwave is scorched and there's even scorch marks on the outside vents.  And I'm not talking a little bit scorched like a burnt bag of popcorn.  I talking call-in-the-arson-investigators scorched. It does appear that the perpetrator tried to clean up a little, but you can't get rid of that charred smell.

I tried to clean it using my tried and true sugar scrub mixed with Dawn, but only the bottom came clean...and that was covered by the Pyrex plate (which was burned with a tar-like substance, but I managed to get that clean) so not as bad.  I finally gave up and called it--time of death unknown.  I can only imagine this fire happened after hours because no one knew about it.  Trust me, all one has to do is burn just a few kernels and the whole office is on your ass, so a fire of this magnitude would have brought all kinds of wrath.  Check out the damage.
 I'm not sure why these photos are rotated, but you can still see the grossness.

That's why it's called Stuffing!

[This post was meant to appear on November 25th, but technology was not my friend.]

Oof.  I ate good yesterday and I'm still eating good thanks to tasty leftovers.  I spent Thanksgiving, as usual, with my beautiful friend, Jaclyn, and her equally beautiful family. We are pretty much an extended family now after so many years of celebrating together.  Thanks for another delightful Thanksgiving Jaclyn, Chris, Julia, Mary, Lindsay, Michele, Greg, and our new additions, Lily and Jimmy.  

Since Wednesday was my birthday and today is Mary's birthday (she's Jaclyn's Mom--Happy Birthday Mary!), we both got presents.  I got an awesome spy camera.  Okay,  maybe not exactly a spy camera, but it's tiny and cute and hides easily in the palm of my hand. I can see myself taking all kinds of TMZ-worthy photos.  Beware. No one is safe. The quality isn't bad either. I'd include photos but my home computer isn't cooperating and when I tried to take more I inadvertently deleted them.  Woe is me.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

It's my birthday and I'll pie if I want to.

That's right.  Another year has passed and it's my birthday again.  You know what that means?  My email inbox is filled with birthday wishes---from companies with whom I've done business.  Free drink at Starbucks! Free car wash at the Nissan dealership!  Discount at the yarn store!  Discounts at several online stores!  I'll admit, I enjoy the birthday wishes.  I'm a kid at heart.  

My office had our annual Thanksgiving potluck today.  Soooo much good food.  I'll say one thing for my co-workers--they sure can cook.  Turkey? yum. Ham? yum. Taters? yum. Mac & cheese? yum.  Grilled Brussels sprouts? So very yum.  And don't get me started on the desserts.  I'm just going to roll on out of here today.

Thanks to everyone who woke with with Facebook birthday wishes.  I feel so special.  I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 21, 2011

I'm a Great Aunt, again (or always)

Sorry I've been absent. Things are happening that I can't talk about and I've been ill with the lingering cough (do you have to let it lingerrrrr...).  But I CAN talk about my sweet, brave, niece, Elyse, who endured nearly 24 hours of labor to bring a beautiful baby boy into the world.  Welcome James Matthew Jefferson Shaw.  I'd show you a picture, but he's nekkid and I'd like to give the kid some dignity. I stole this photo from Facebook. I'm not sure who took it. Congratulations, Elyse.  I can't believe you're someone's mother now.

In other news, today is another sweet niece's birthday. Happy Birthday, Mary!  I know what it's like to have a nephew* born so close to your birthday that everyone from here on out will try to lump your birthdays together, and lump it in with Thanksgiving if they can get away with it.  Know that your Aunt Laurie will always recognize your day as your own.

*Love you Roy--wouldn't trade you for the world...even if I did get gipped on the birthdays.  

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Knit Picks-y

In case you know my Sugar Daddy, or my Fairy Godmother...Here is my Knit Picks Wish List.  I'm entering a contest to win some goodies. Do you like yarny goodness? You can enter too.  Just check it out here.

In other news, I'm still sick, but I'm tired of tea.  Cup of coffee! Stat! Fortunately, we had a meeting and there's Starbucks in the conference room.  I'm drinking out of my Molly the Owl mug instead of my usual travel mug because I need the warmth in my hands.  My cough is mostly gone, my throat is no longer sore, but my damn sinuses are fomenting a riot in my head.  I feel like my eyes are being pushed out like a Pug.  At least I managed make up today.  Just because I feel like crap doesn't mean I have to look the part.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Still sick

Who wants to go to Langer's and buy me some matzo ball soup?  

I took the day off yesterday to rest and get better.  Many doses of Tylenol Cold & Flu (severe formula) and lots of sleep interspersed with a Criminal Minds marathon had me feeling much better this morning.  I had to come to work for a series of meetings.  I got up, showered, put make up on, and was out the door, but halfway to work my throat started getting scratchy, my cough came back, my eyes got watery, my nose started running....that's it! I'm allergic to work!  Does disability cover that?

We talked about getting lunch for one of the meetings (and decided against it), so now I really really want Langer's matzo soup with an egg salad sandwich.  Anyone? They do the curbside pick-up.

Monday, November 07, 2011

Sick....and tired, but not necessarily sick and tired

I inadvertently had a Rob Riggle movie marathon this weekend.  Who is this guy and why was he in every movie I watched this weekend?  I can't find a common denominator, save him, and the fact that they were all comedies.  In the first movie, I thought, "this guy is funny and kind of a douche."  In the second movie, I thought, "Hey, it's that guy again."  By the third movie, I thought, "Oh come on! Now you're just messing with me." Anyway, at least we know the Riggle family isn't starving as daddy is bringing home a steady paycheck.

On Saturday, the ladies of trivia competed in the 2nd Annual King Trivia Tournament of Champions.  We were in 24th place going into the competition.  For the first couple of rounds we held on to first place, but the 3-for-3 round consistently does us in.  I mean, what three Vice Presidents had the shortest terms in office?  Who knows that shit?  Well, apparently a lot of nerds at the competition, because we dropped out of first.  We ended the tournament in 12th place, which isn't bad considering there are 30 teams competing and we only had three team members (against the six that most teams had).  

But the sick, well, that came on sometime overnight.  I blame the time change, because why not.  I woke up Sunday with a sore throat that I attributed to having to shout over the din on Saturday.  An hour later, though, it was clear the sore throat was a harbinger of things to come and not just a run-of-the-mill soreness.  The stuffy head, fever, achy body, cough, chest congestion--yep, I'm fully ill.  Back to bed with a cup of tea I went.  Of course, I had to come to work today, but I had some unavoidable tasks to complete.  Hopefully, I can leave early.  

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

I'd love to stay and chat, but I really moustache

Welcome to Movember.  I love me a good moustache so this month is going to provide me with some sweet eye candy.  I've decided to stop waxing my own 'stache in solidarity with the menfolk, because after all, without the menfolk, we'd be....who would do....I mean, I'm sure we'd miss them.

In honor of Movember, Etsy has some really great moustache related items.  Check out my favorites:

Stache a day--found here

I love a good pun--found here.

The baby's giving eyebrow!--found here
And so many more.  Have fun, and remember to get the ol' prostate checked out.  

Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween

I parted my hair differently.  Do my ears stick out too much?

"I'll never drink again."   oh, pumpkin, we've all said that.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Prompt Tuesday: Top Five

Deb asked for a Top Five and I hate to disappoint.

Top Five Grammatical Pet Peeves (not in any order):
  1. Improper use of the pronoun myself
  2. Unnecessary quotation marks
  3. Your vs You're
  4. Using Loose when you mean Lose, which is really a spelling error, but still pisses me off.
  5. Using weary, when you mean leery or wary. Combining the two words doesn't make you extra cautious. It just makes you dumb...and apparently tired.  Again, not really grammatical but still gets my panties in a bunch.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Oh Hi. Remember me?

Well, the fall fundraiser is done, over, finite. I can relax and return to my normal work schedule and normal work duties, which remain abnormal, but less frantic.  What a day it was, too!  It was held at the Annenberg Community Beach House, which is lovely. However, a thick fog bank rolled in and cast an eerie glow over the parking and beach.  No matter, we were there to party and spend money, not look at the scenery.  

The staff was to wear black cocktail attire. Well, Laurie Ann loves color.  Laurie Ann cannot do all black without a pop of something something.  So, I blinged it up a bit with some teal accessories and lots of sparkly bits. [Pardon the bad cell phone photos, and self portrait of the back of my head]

Hey, there's supposed to be a faux diamond in the middle.  I found it later on the floor and fixed it.

The sangria was delicious.  I had three...or four. I can't math.

The food, by Patina catering, was unbelievable, especially the dessert, a flan concoction that was out of this world.  Our MC was a hoot, and the salsa lessons, a highlight of the evening, were a success.  Even our auction items fetched some top dollar bids.  Too bad I won four of those bids and now owe my soul to the company.  (So worth it! I got all the Pamper Me packages)  It always seems so anticlimactic, though.  All the build up and then...sigh.  It's all over but for the Thank You letters. 

PS.  All the accessories? Under $25 at Forever 21.  I love that store.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Scare D. Kat

This post is for Deb over at San Diego Momma for Prompt Tuesday, but also because it's October and I recently talked to a friend about me being a scaredy cat.  

Regular blog readers know that I live in an apartment equipped with strange little doors, which I like to call Gnome Doors, because "Doors to some unforeseen evil" is just too scary.  They are kind of creepy, those doors, but this story is not about them.  This story takes place a long, long time ago (cue wavy flashback lines)....

I lived in an old farmhouse in Kunkletown, Pennsylvania, with my friend Bruce, one of the funniest guys I knew and an aspiring filmmaker.  Bruce was adapting a Goosebumps-type book onto film, starring our landlord's daughter and several of our co-workers.  The plot, in brief:  Girl cheats on boyfriend, boyfriend drowns while the two are out on a lake late at night, girl is consumed with guilt and haunted by dead boyfriend.  I won't tell you the surprise ending as it doesn't come into play here.  Because the girl feels her dead boyfriend (played by our friend Matt) is haunting her, she consults her aunt, who happens to be a psychic.  I was the aunt. We were going to try to connect with the dead boy's spirit and tell him to move on.  

Okay, so we'd been filming all night long trying to get as many night shots in as possible.  We'd filmed the drowning scene on the pond next to our house using every one's car headlights to light the scene Ala Ed Wood.  We filmed a crucial climactic scene, and now at midnight/1ish, we were in the dining room of our old farmhouse filming the scene where the aunt tries to connect with the spirit. Everyone was tired.  John was asleep on a window bench.  Matt was heating up spaghetti in the kitchen.  Aaron was doing something to help  Bruce (microphone maybe) and Robin and I sat across from one another with a candle between us and a copy of the Necronomicon.  Not the real one, of course, since it doesn't exist, but a book of spells purported to be the Necronomicon.  

Bruce started filming and I started reading, in Latin, with surprisingly good inflection.  We were going for one take, two if necessary.  I continued to read; the house was deadly quiet, except for the sound of my voice in a rhythmic cadence and a slight hum from the microwave in the kitchen which we hoped wouldn't be picked up on the microphone ("we'll fix it in post").  Every one's breath was held as they listened.  Suddenly, as I was about to read the very last line of some random spell Bruce had chosen because it sounded good, all of the following happened at the exact same moment:
  • Bruce shouted "Noooooo" while slamming his hand on the book to stop me from reading.
  • the candle blew out
  • John violently fell off the window bench
  • The plate in the microwave exploded
  • the electricity went out
  • a loud crash came from the basement
Ah, the basement. Dank dens of no good--I hate basements.  This one--did I mention it was an old farmhouse?--had several rooms, including an old coal room from back in the day.  The lights didn't reach all the corners. And quite frankly, after we re-lit the candle and our heartbeats returned to normal, no one wanted to go down there to check the breaker.  We were sure that I had somehow conjured a demon while reading the spell, which is why Bruce stopped me from completely it.  So, we ALL went down to check the breaker, creeping down the stairs with every available flashlight and candle we could find like the Scooby gang.  And of course, we reset the breaker and everything was fine.  But the rest of the shoot was plagued with mishaps and for years we talked about "the day Laurie Ann conjured that demon."

More recently, like last night, I painted my nails with glow-in-the-dark polish and scared myself when I woke to pee and saw my hand on the pillow.
Innocuous in the daylight

Saturday, October 01, 2011

What about the Knitters Code? Or is it really more of a guideline.

I played hooky for half a day yesterday and went to the Central Library downtown.  I perused the knitting books, gathered an armload, and then went to the Annenberg Gallery.  I paused briefly to get this picture of my absolute favorite part of the downtown library.
The rotunda!

I love the rotunda. I love that chandelier.  I love the marble floor.  Every time I'm there, I just want to stand beneath that globe, arms stretched wide, and spin until I'm too dizzy to stand.  I resist the urge, but one of these days...

Anywho, I checked out my books, then spent an inordinate amount of time in the library store because they have so many fun things to see.  I got some food and sat outside in the muggy weather to read and enjoy being out of the office.  One of the books I got had a little note attached to the front "missing pages 79-80."  I looked at the pattern picture for those pages and decided it wasn't missing much.  Well, when I started really looking at the book, I found it was missing more than those two pages.  It was missing about four full patterns. Some asshole (oh, yeah, I'm going there) ripped out the pages for the patterns they liked (leaving the pictures to tease future book borrowers) and returned the book that way.  

Isn't there some kind of Knitters Code?  Who does that?  Why wouldn't a person just photo copy (I know, copyright issues) rather than destroy a book, and inconveniencing fellow knitters?  I added an addendum to the note on the front of the book, but I hope the library doesn't think I did it.  And I really wanted to make two of the missing patterns.  Boo! Bad Knitter!!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

That's the 1970's

Yesterday at work, several new employees were waiting in the lobby for the training to start when one gal said to another, "I love your boots. They're so cute."  

"Oh, thanks," she replied. "They were my grandmothers."  I stood up from my seat at the reception desk to take a look at the cute boots, expecting to see something like this. What I saw was more like this. The booted young lady went on, "yeah, I was wearing a pair of Uggs, but my grandma said 'oh, wait, I have a better pair of boots for you,' and pulled out these."  

"They're real nice," said the first girl.  "They're in good condition."
"Yeah, They're from, like, the 70's too," said the second girl.  

The 70's!!!  Her GRANDMOTHER wore them in the 70's.  I had to ask--"How old is your Grandmother?  How old is your Mother??"

"My mom is 41, and my grandma is 62."  And then I felt super old and cried in my Metamucil.

Thursday, September 08, 2011

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind man, eh?

Trivia night at Barney's Beanery in Westwood is always packed.  Well, I imagine Barney's is packed every day of the week, but on trivia night, seating is at capacity and we always have to scramble to find a seat.  Last night, we sat at the bar.  The bar seats are old car bucket seats, which while comfortable, made me feel incredibly short as my feet did not touch the step.  Also, the mid-level bar (walk in, up the stairs to your left) is served by the downstairs bartender who CLIMBS A LADDER TO SERVE THE DRINKS!!  I kid you not. She has one of those sliding ladders like you find in the library (or as our bartender pointed out, Beauty and the Beast) and she climbs the ladder then leans down to pick up the beer and then reaches up to serve it.  How is that even remotely safe?  To make it worse, the mid-level bar patrons are provided a variety of tools to summon the bartender, such as bicycle bells, hotel bells, and the super-annoying old car horn.  That poor girl.  We tipped her well.

But this post is not about the bartender or the crazy mid-level bar.  Christina and I (there were only two of us) sat at the bar and chatted with a lovely young Brit before trivia started.  She was Asian and the accent kind of threw me (yes, I know that's incredibly racist), kind of like the first time Cho Chang spoke in the Harry Potter films.  She was sweet and we broke the sad news to her that she could not use her old iPhone from England on her new T-mobile plan.  Anywho, trivia started, her friends arrived, so our conversation stopped.  

A round or two later, a British accent on my right said, "So, 'ow you doing so far?"  I turned, expecting the sweet girl from before, and was faced with an extremely inebriated Camilla Parker-Bowles the early years.  I recovered quickly and said, "well, we're sucking right now, but there's time to catch up."  To which Camilla replied, "Sometimes sucking is a good thing, eh? Know what I mean?" with an elbow to the ribs.  "These questions are too American, but if anything British comes up, you come to me (wink)." Suddenly she became Eric Idle and I was in the middle of a Monty Python skit--as the straight man! I'm never the straight man.  I smiled, nodded, and turned away giving Christina the "save me" eyes. 

Drunkmilla turned to some hapless man on her right and I was safe.  Although, we still sucked royally for the night.  I won't tell you the score; it was humiliating.  So much so that we considered leaving before the last round because it wasn't going to help our score any, but stayed because the last round was a music round and we always do well with those. It didn't help.  

Friday, September 02, 2011

Virgo Love

Today is my brother Michael's birthday.  Happy Birthday, Big Brother!!!! I love you!

As I mentioned before, I have an affinity for Virgos.  I get them like no other sign.  So, in Honor of Michael, here's a partial list of famous folks who were also born on this day.

Film Industry:
Keanu Reeves
Salma Hayek
Mark Harmon
Linda Purl
Martin Miller (I don't know him either, but that's my Dad's name and I thought it was funny)
Hal Ashby (director of Harold and Maude)

Lennox Lewis
Jimmy Connors
Peter Ueberroth
Terry Bradshaw

Regular Folk (fame questionable, except Christa McAuliffe)
Christa McAuliffe
Harvey Levin
Robert Shapiro
Camille Grammer

And that's just a smattering*.  Do you know someone born on this day?  If so, tell them I said Happy Birthday, Virgo.

*Wait until you see the rogue's gallery of folks who share my birthday.  

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

So Damn Quotable

On Twitter today, two of the folks I follow mentioned the movie Speed, quoting from it.
I quote Speed all the time, too. I love the "But I'm taller" line when he cuts off Dennis Hopper's head with the light in the subway tunnel. My friend hates that line, but it's one of my favorites. I also quote Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Point Break, and The Matrix way too much.  So, what is it about Keanu Reeves's movies that makes them so damn quotable?  Do you have any favorite quotes from these films?  

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Best. Game. Ever.

I went to dinner with my friend Christina last night and she innocently* suggested we play a game afterwards since her roommate was going to be home and all.  It's a game she had mentioned before but we never got around to playing.  The game is called "You evil whore! How could you block my road?!"  No, no, I kid.  It's called Settlers of Catan.  Now, it's been around forever, so I'm sure all of you are going, "oh yeah, that" with a bored eye roll.  I, however, had never heard of this game before Christina mentioned it in passing a few times, and certainly never knew or imagined how much fun it could be.  
Photo courtesy of Walking Wounded blog

If you've never played, it's just the best game ever.  It's kind of a cross between Risk, Monopoly, and Go Fish. You have to build houses, roads, and settlements and collect resources, which you can trade with other players. I annoyed the bejesus out of Christina and Becky by asking for bricks in the voice of Kaitlin from SNL.  "Does anyone have any BRICK! BRICK! BRICK!"  And broke into giggles every time someone said something like, "I need wood" or "No one is getting any wood this round."  Yes, I'm 12.  

Guess what?  It's available online and as a phone app.  I may never be productive again.

*She wasn't innocent.  She knew exactly what she was doing.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The really important things we discuss at work

On the phone with my boss, who suggested I take lead on yet another project, I said, "If you give me any more projects you're going to find me at the bottom of a bottle."  To which she replied, "Like a genie?"  Then our discussion devolved into truly important things like:

  1. Where did Jeannie pee?*  I mean, she was stuck in that bottle with nothing but a round sofa.(although we both agreed that as children we totally wanted a bedroom like the inside of her bottle)
  2. Where did she sleep?** I can't imagine the back pain one would wake up with having slept on that curved sofa all night.
  3. What did Jeannie eat that whole time she was stuck in the bottle before Major Nelson found her?***
  4. And why were the evil cousins on TV back then always brunettes? (I'm looking at you,too, Bewitched) Brunettes are not evil.
Yes, these are the things my boss and I talk about instead of work.****  What do you talk about with your boss?

*We decided she must have had a small bathroom on the side of the bottle we never saw.
**It must have been a sofa bed, which led to "how did she find sheets to fit?"
***She's a genie. She could blink in food. (which led to why couldn't she blink herself out)
****Yesterday, we talked about spam, Viagra, and the "enlarge your manhood" ads.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

More Comic Coincidences

Wow, I suck at this whole NaBloPoMo thing.  I've got so much to do today due to brain vacancy last week, but here's a little comic relief to hold you over.

Two unrelated comics with virtually the same content.  Frogs are funny.  I like "The Barn" more, but the graphic wetness of the frog's tongue in "Over the Hedge" sells it more.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Just don't ask me to talk about it

I couldn't post this yesterday, and I don't really have words for it today, but I have to say it because ignoring it doesn't make it not true.  Yesterday, in the wee hours of the morning, my brother Brian lost his battle with cancer and went to join my Mom, where she is no doubt telling him to get a haircut and watch his language.  It feels very strange to have a gap in the line-up of siblings, like a gap-toothed smile--it looks fine, but you know there should be something there.  He fought hard and I'm glad he's no longer suffering, but selfishly I want my brother back.

I love you, Brian.  Goodbye.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Here, There, and Everywhere

There was a meeting in the office for which I was responsible for setting up and providing food.  The website was still being all wonky as well.  So, my day pretty much consisted of driving, playing with Internet, driving, compress disc space, driving, IP Configuration,, hell, I'm going home.  That was my last thought as I drove one of the meeting folks to the train station.  It was already 4:30; I'd had it for the day.  

Three blocks from home I suddenly remembered that there were dishes to clean up in the conference room from breakfast. Crappity crap crap!  I called one of the finance folks and beg him to do me a solid and clean up the room.  In turn, I'll buy him some Starbucks in the morning.  That's fair, right?

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Damn you, Mercury, with your retrograde and shit

I manage our website at work.  I didn't design it, mind you; that's the work of our brilliant designer, Andrew.  However, I update the content, and I, along with Andrew, decided to move it to a different web host, since our old host had us on a shared server and it slowed down our revolving banner.  All of this is scintillating, I know.  Our contract with the old host ends next week anyway, so it was a great time to move.  All of this became moot when something happened at the old host and our website went away.  No, really, it just disappeared.  All kinds of error mumbo jumbo showed up and the talented Andrew, along with our other talented tech folk, started working like fiends to get it back up.  It's been a week and finally, they got the new site (updated and fancier) launched on the new server...except maybe not.  I can't get it to pull up on my computer.  Neither can the boss.  Neither can her colleagues, which makes my world a not-so-pleasant place.  

So, Andrew was here to show me how to update the pretty new site with a pretty new back end (hee hee...I said back end), and HE was unable to get the new site to come up on my computer.  We pulled it up on other  computers in the company, but not mine and not the boss's.  Rats!  We cleared my cache, deleted cookies, and now they are doing a disk cleanup.  Still nothing.  

Then I got a call from a woman who told me something about Mercury in retrograde and it all became perfectly clear.  For those of you who aren't nodding your heads and saying, "Ohhh, yeah," here's why:

"Since Mercury rules communication, it's said that everything goes haywire in that area -- emails get deleted or bounced back, mail is returned, calls go out into the ethers, etc. Some people find that their computers go on the fritz or phone lines go down."

And now you know. Unfortunately, it will be in retrograde until August 26th, so don't buy any electronics, get a haircut, pick a fight, or say anything that could be misconstrued until after the 26th. Not too hard, right?

Monday, August 15, 2011

One heck of an accounting department

This is for the Catholics out there, but non-Catholics are welcome to read too.

I have been praying the Rosary* this week, for reasons that will be discussed later, and because it's been some years since I went to church and even more since I was religiously educated, I needed to consult a pamphlet for the Apostle's Creed.  The pamphlet is really old--like pre-Vatican II old--so it has a whole page on how many indulgences you get from praying the rosary a) alone; b) with family (private or public); or c) with a large group (again, private or public).  Indulgences, for those who don't feel like checking out the links, were basically time served for good behavior and shortened the time you would have to be tortured in purgatory before going to heaven. You got them from "good works" and from apparently praying the rosary with your family and in a group setting.  Indulgences were either partial or plenary, although the unit of measure that constituted what was partial and what was plenary was up for interpretation.  Hours?Days? Weeks? Who knows? Reading or listening to the scripture (piously, mind you) for 30 minutes got you one plenary indulgence.  The Second Vatican Council kind of shied away from indulgences, after that whole Martin Luther thing.

So I got to thinking, with all these people doing all this work for all those indulgences, partial and full, Jesus would need a really good accountant to keep track.  A whole department, I would think. Maybe even a Controller to keep the department in checks and balances--probably St. Matthew.  

Somewhere, a heavenly accounting clerk is digging in the holy filing cabinet for my records and adding a couple of plenary indulgences in my credit column.  Thanks, buddy.  Add a couple for Brian, too.  

*It's not jewelry! 

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Too hot to knit, except for baby things

I'm almost done with this sweater and I'm very proud of the little pocket I made.
Almost done with this sweater. Hooray! on Twitpic

Google doesn't let friends drunk email. Way to be looking out, Google.

It's late, I know.  Technically, this is my August 12th post even though it's after Midnight. 

I was emailing my sister (Hi Katie!) and I hit the send button, when suddenly a window popped up.  It said something about it being "that time of day" and asked me to complete some simple math problems in 60 seconds before it would send my email.   Now, I'm sure Google is filled with a bunch of super smart folks who think it's easy to subtract 26 from 77 at 1:00am.  But, me?  I can't do that in my head at 1:00PM, let alone at this hour, when I'm tired and I've been crying (more on that another time). 

I appreciate you looking out for me, Google.  Next time, though, can you make the simple math even simpler? 

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Yummy! Gooey! Fun!

Yesterday was National S'mores Day, so naturally, we ordered s'mores at Barney's Beanery last night. 

photo courtesy of Karyn Newbill

That blue lump in the stone bowl is the flame.  Oh no! Karyn's marshmallow is on fire!!!  S'mores and The Matrix on 20 giant screens in HD--now that's just good clean fun.

Sadly, the delicious s'mores did not add to our mental prowess and we didn't win trivia last night.  But that's okay, the highest score was only 53, and that was from a team of 15-20 people who work in the medical field. There were some tough questions.  

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Not a-musing

Damn my flighty muse.  She's the one who makes me cast on for a sweater, or blanket, or scarf on the hottest day of summer even though I already have a million other projects crying for attention.  She's the one who makes me suddenly want to cook something fancy and gourmet even though I'm the only one home to eat it.  And lately, she's the one who puts words and stories in my head and pushes them out of me via a pen in my right hand even though I'm in the middle of some very important things, like getting laundry together so I don't have to go naked, or typing up two and a half hours worth of meeting minutes that are due today!  That rotten muse. 

Her latest:  I was washing my hands and about to leave the bathroom, when this sentence came to my head, "Frank was an asshole from the very beginning, which Kay knew but chose to ignore."  What followed was an old story, for which I have had a closing line, but not an opening.  Muse, don't you know I have a meeting to listen to and transcribe?  Don't you know I have a huge meeting on Friday, the details of which need to be ironed out and finalized?  Don't you know I don't have time to be writing no short stories??  I guess she doesn't.

Monday, August 08, 2011

Denmark? Reallly??

We won at Trivia again last night. (Yawn) I'm really trying not to get all smug and cocky, because I feel a comeuppance coming on.  Last night, though, we couldn't help ourselves.  The category for the round was Islands.  There were some easy ones:  On what island can you find Guantanamo Bay Naval Base?  Sardinia is located off the western coast of which country?  But ol' question number five had us stumped but good.  

The US purchased the Virgin Islands in 1917 from what country?  

I know!!  Okay, sure, there are probably a lot of you out there who know the answer.  None of you were at our table.  And apparently, none of you were at Barney's Beanery in Santa Monica last night.  We debated.  I thought France (based purely on conjecture and that one of the islands is St. Croix and that sounds French).  Another teammate said Holland, based on dutch names of towns and such.  None of us knew for sure and we tried to be deductive about it.  "Martinique is nearby and they speak French there."  "Bahamas are nearby and they speak English and use dollars"  "There's a British Virgin Islands, too."  In the end, we put Holland down but did not check the "Double or nothing" circle.  

The answer is, of course, Denmark.  And absolutely no one--NOT ONE TEAM--got it correct.  Yet nearly everyone--all but two--doubled down.  The quiz master was reading the scores and it went something like this:  "(team name) Unsuccessful double down, zero points (team name) Unsuccessful double down, zero points. (team name) Unsuccessful double down, zero points....." until it just became ridiculous. We were cracking up.  When he finally got to our team, one of the only two with scores, we couldn't help but rejoice.  I've never been so happy to get five points.  

Then some Opie Cunningham-looking dude gave us the eye and said, "that team has to go down."  Sorry to disappoint you Opie Cunningham, but this was the third time we've placed First in a week.  We are on fire (whispered because I don't want to tempt fate).  

Sunday, August 07, 2011

New adventures in laundry avoidance

Yes, another weekend and I am finding ways to avoid doing my laundry.  I had planned to do it yesterday, but I woke up with a migraine and was useless for the rest of the day.  I did nothing more than lay in bed and avoid direct sunlight.

Today, I felt much better, but still did not feel like getting out of bed.  So, I read a few chapters of my current book, played some mahjong solitaire on my Kindle, and picked up an old journal from the nightstand.  Sometimes I like to reread stuff and see where I was back then.  This particular journal,  from around 2000-2001, was one in which I wrote story ideas, snippets I'd thought of, great titles, and some beginnings of stories with plotlines vaguely formed.  I re-read them and realized why some never went anywhere.  But one had a good start and I already knew how it ended.  So, I grabbed a pen, and started writing. I used some of the already-written piece and added on and on until a few hours later, I had a pretty good story going, but still no clean clothes.  

So, I took a shower and gathered my baskets.  I mean, I can't put it off forever.

Saturday, August 06, 2011

You Dim Sum, you lose some

Yesterday, I was not feeling it.  I was frustrated and cranky, so even though I have a ton of things that I need to do for a big meeting next week, I ditched work and went to lunch with my boss and her family for her birthday.  We went to Ocean Star in Monterey Park for Dim Sum. I'd never been before, so while I was on the phone with my boss, I looked it up on Yelp.  Note to self: Do not look at the photos on Yelp.  There are 200+ photos from this place and while most of the food looks fine, people just love to photograph the chicken feet, which are just gross no matter how good the lighting or angle.  The boss and I kept going "ewww, look at that one!"  Lots of folks out there with (chicken) foot fetishes.  The food was good and cheap, though.  My favorite was the shrimp har gow, and some seaweed wrapped shrimp thing, but everything was delicious.  

Next, still not feeling the work thing, I went a few blocks down the street to watch a culmination at one of our schools.  There is nothing cuter than kids singing for their parents. They get so excited and embarrassed at the same time.  It was pretty adorable.  Afterward, we were served refreshments from around the globe.  

Then I got lost coming home because there are all these freeways and I didn't want to sit in traffic...yeah, I found my way back though.  Another note to self:  the stupid bar method class doesn't get out until 5:30, so good luck finding parking on your street before that.  (grumble grumble skinny bitches taking up all the parking on my street grumble grumble)  

Thursday, August 04, 2011

It's hard not to get too cocky

Another night of trivia, another first place win.  One might say we got lucky, beating Tremendous Wang by one point, but I say we're just a bunch of smart women.  And honestly, wouldn't you say Tremendous Wang is just asking to get beat?  What's wrong, guys? Was Hugh G. Rection taken?  It would make sense if they had a guy on the team named Wang.  Our team name, when we settle on one, will be clever and awe-inspiring.  We're in a flux right now.  The name we used is a little too obscure and/or offensive for regulation play.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Do these tire tracks make my ass look big?*

I have been thrown under the bus so many times today I'm beginning to feel like road kill.  First thing this morning, before I even made it into the office, I was taking a conference call from my cell when one of the participants, who wasn't prepared for the call, tells the boss that he hadn't received any emails from me regarding what the call and his subsequent presentation would entail.  That is just a big fat lie.  True, the first email I sent got bounced back, but I then called his assistant personally, explained EVERYTHING to her, then resent the email to him by replying to one of his previous emails.  I even have his reply thanking me! Apparently, his assistant went on vacation and didn't leave him any notes about my call.

Why am I such an easy target? Do people think, "Oh, she's just the assistant. We'll blame her."  Well, be forewarned.  Do not mess with Laurie Ann. I save every freaking email I think might possibly come up and bite me in the ass.   

*nope, my ass is just big on its own.

Monday, August 01, 2011

Questionable Censorship and other Sunday Sundries

I spent most of yesterday hanging around the house reading The Help.  Everyone who highly recommended it was absolutely right.  I can't stop reading...well, obviously I can because I wouldn't be typing this right now, but you know what I mean.  At 6:00ish, I decided it was time to cook some dinner (actually breakfast and lunch, too) and get lunches together for the week.  After that, I settled in for a night of bad television because there's nothing on and I don't have cable.  But do you know what was on?  For the second night in a row? POINT BREAK!!!  I think you remember (or if you don't, I'm telling you now) how much I love me some Point Break.   As you may also know, its 20th anniversary was this July.  In several articles about this film, it has been mentioned that the F bomb is dropped 115 or so times.  That's a lot for two hour movie...that just goes on and on. 

Since it was on network TV, I expected a lot of censorship.  What I didn't expect was the kind of censorship.  Nudity? That's a given.  The shot of the ex-President mooning the security cameras was blurred, as were several other shots, like the naked gals at Warchild and Bunker's house.  All the F bombs, of course.  The word "shit" was out, even "bullshit."  That whole scene in which Johnny and Tyler wake up on the beach and he's late for the raid was cut...because he says "shit" about 20 times.  Oddly, the line in which Johnny asks, "you not into kinky shit, are you Pappas?" was also cut. I think they could have just dropped the word shit, but whatevs.  

But what wasn't out?  Goddamn, and Jesus Christ.  Apparently, shit is a dirty word (George Carlin told us so) but taking the Lord's name is vain is A-Ok!  And on top of the 115 F bombs, cussing the Lord's name was their second favorite expletive.  I guess the censors don't care about good ol' Christian values.  I don't necessarily have an issue with that kind of cussing, mind you, but in the absence of all the other bad words, it stuck out and was kind of uncomfortable.  Even with all the cutting, it still managed to be 2 1/2 hours of network television time.

In other news, it was Metal Detector day on the comics page.  And I guess the ol' metal plate in head joke is still hilarious.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Who do I write like? I'll bite.

After Will (aka Oslowe) and Annika posted their results, I decided to check out what the compubot had to say about my writing.  I used a random sampling from my blog (about 10 posts) and four fiction pieces I've been working on.  These are my results--four for William Gibson, five for Cory Doctorow, one Vonnegut, one Gaiman, and one Chuck Palahniuk.  There was also one JK Rowling, but that was the post in which I talked about Harry Potter, so I'm not counting it.  

I write like
William Gibson
I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Didn't William Gibson write Johnny Mnemonic?  That's pretty much all I know of his writing and I won't hold it against him.

I write like
Cory Doctorow
I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

As for Cory, all I know about him is Boing Boing, and that he kind of looks like Drew Carey.

As for the others--Vonnegut? Gaiman? Palahniuk?  Am I really that dark?

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Repairman Returneth (and fucketh with my bathroom)

Remember how I went on vacation and came home to a big ol' mess left by the Frau and the plumber?  Well, I went to Comic Con and returned to another mess left by the Frau and the plumber.  Do you know what I love most?  Getting home late at night from a vacation and scrubbing my bathroom.  

At first I didn't see what they had done, but upon closer inspection, I noticed a new shower head and new knobs.  The shower head still has the blue plastic coating to protect the chrome.  It's a nice decorative feature so I'm leaving it.  Here's the rub, as they say:  The pipe that comes out of the wall is not secure, so when I tried to move the shower head the whole thing moved.  Nice.  There's more.  The shower head piece itself is so tight that I had to grip the base firmly, then gently try to move the head to find the right position so I didn't get a full blast in the face.  [wow, I just re-read that and realized how dirty it sounds...or maybe it's just me.] Oh, and the water came out is a dribble so I had to adjust that knob that is inside the head, which just makes it splash all over the place anyway.  Not the pleasant shower I was anticipating.  Nope, I pretty much cussed like a sailor the whole time.  

Monday, July 25, 2011

I survived Comic Con 2011. But more importantly, so did my feet!

I've wanted to go to Comic Con for some time now, ever since I realized it was much more than just comics.  Because, you see, I'm not so much with the comic books.  I love me some science fiction, though, and dystopian futures and writers of such.  And, I do love cartoons--particularly adult cartoons.  So, after many years of "we should go to Comic Con," I finally got to go.  Four days of Nerdtastic Geektacular Fun.  And 120,000 like minded friends. I may have gotten a little silly and let my fan flag fly.
Transformer head--Judy Greer loved it.
Dragon Ball Z hair

                                           Horribly Adorable at the Dr. Horrible's Sing -a-long Blog screening 

Those who have attended could probably give me some tips on how to manage this next year, but first...the lines! OMG, the lines.  If you had a particular panel or screening you want to see, you'd better get in line two panels ahead of time to get in.  I sat through several interesting panels while waiting for the ones I really wanted.  I learned about Activision's new Spiderman and X-Men games, while listening to Katee Sackoff, Laura Vandervoort, and Val Kilmer (who had the nicest hair of the three).  I learned who Jim Steranko is and  how he got into comics.  I saw a panel on Clone Wars, Gears of War 3 (video game), and a collection of animated shorts brought to us by Spike and Mike (though they were not Sick and/or Twisted--we missed that one).  And I learned about the Wild Cards book series while waiting for Nathan Fillion and the Castle cast. I knew about George R.R. Martin because of his Song of Ice and Fire books, but I hadn't heard of the series.  Now, I can't wait to read them. 

Because I didn't bring my real camera and my cell kept dying, these are the only photos I managed to snag.  They're not good quality. 
Giant Smurfs are scary.

21 and 24 from The Venture Brothers
One of the many amazing Legos figures

Adam West!!
Christopher Moore is made of awesome.

An Ass-cracking good time was had by many.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Oh, Zyrtec. Why you gotta play me like that?

All week long while I was visiting Pennystucky, I took a Zyrtec and two hits from the ol' crackpipe Symbicort to keep the allergies and subsequent asthma symptoms at bay.  It worked like a charm for most of the time and I felt great.  This morning, I woke up sneezing and decided to take a Zyrtec.  I have been a groggy listless mess ever since. 

I can't afford to be, though.  I have six days worth of work that needs to be crammed into three days because I'm going to Comic Con on Thursday. I really needed to unpack, inventory, and then repack the branded supplies closet, but I just couldn't muster the energy to undertake that task.  Instead, I started cleaning up my office, until I realized that half the stuff in my office needs to go into the supplies closet.  It doesn't help that it's so cold in our offices that all I want to do is curl up with a blanket, which our promo company has so conveniently provided in my monthly sample pack.  I got this adorable pen, too.  Look how happy he is!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Damn, Nature. You Scary.

I went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II  last night at midnight.  I won't ruin it for you.  It was as awesome as you'd expect.

Needless to say, I was super tired this morning and didn't wake up until my internal alarm started screaming "Move your car! You'll get a ticket!!!"  I leaped out of bed, tossed on some clothes, and moved my car in that dizzy half-drunk state one finds oneself after a mere two hours of sleep.  Coming back to my front door, I noticed a dead pigeon on the lawn that hadn't been there a minute ago.  It was right at the bottom of my stoop, barely in the grass, so I would have seen it on my way out.  "That happened quickly," I thought.  I saw no blood or claw/tooth marks, so I didn't think a cat got it.  I also didn't see a head, which confounded me.  Whatever.  I stumbled back upstairs and lay on the bed a few more minutes to clear the lightheaded feeling before hopping in the shower.  Thirty minutes later when I left for work, the pigeon was still there.  Just as my foot was about to hit the bottom step of my front stoop, a hawk swooped down out of nowhere, grabbed the dead pigeon, and flew off in a shower of gray and white feathers.  It was strangely beautiful.  I get the whole Circle of Life thing, but dang, nature is cold.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Tick Check

Just an observation:
I'm a single girl, have been for a very long time.  And while I occasionally (rarely) enjoy the company of a man, I haven't had a steady relationship in forever.  Normally, I don't dwell on it and this singleness is not something I lie awake at night thinking about.  But this past week, visiting family and friends, it was hard not to think about it.  See, my brother and his lovely wife have an amazing relationship, one forged from 30+ years of sticking together through good times and bad. Being with them for a week made me think "I want one, too!" the way one does after holding someone else's baby or playing with a puppy. In fact, there were a lot of husbands and wives for me to observe this week.  Each relationship had its own unique quality.  Some couples were young, some had been together forever, some were second marriages, some in their golden years--but all of them making it work in a way that is completely mysterious to me. One man and one woman, relying on each other, helping each other, comforting each other, and finally, marriage made sense in a way it never had before.  And you know what?  I'm kind of jealous.

Plus, there's always someone there to check for ticks.

Don't let me get started about the babies and puppies, though.  It'll be ugly.

Monday, July 11, 2011

The Repairman Cometh

The Good News:
My apartment has not been condemned.  Frau and/or a qualified repairman visited my apartment while I was in Pennsyltucky having a grand time and fixed the leaks.  The bathtub and kitchen sink have been re-caulked.  The cracks have been spackled, and there is a fresh coat of gleaming white paint in my bathroom.  Hooray!

The Bad News:
Frau and/or a qualified repairman visited my apartment while I was in Pennsyltucky leaving a big ol' mess for me to clean up.  Things in the bathroom were all topsy-turvy and the tub was filthy! My plane got in at 12:01am. By the time we got our bags, it was about 12:40.  Then the drive to Christina's to pick up my car, then the drive home...we're talking about 1:30am when I got to Chez Gingham.  Guess what Laurie Ann was doing at 2am?  Yes, scrubbing the bathtub and the bathroom floor because while I'm not the most fastidious housekeeper, I needed to shower and that tub was beyond disgusting.  And I still made it to work on time.