Tuesday, November 30, 2010

One of those moments that leaves you breathless an hour later

The sky is blue. The air is crisp and clean, albeit chilly. The traffic light, the iPod shuffling to all the good tunes including this one*. In other words, it was a wonderful morning. I was driving to work and had just made the left onto James M. Wood Blvd behind an SUV. We hadn't quite made it to the first intersection when the SUV slammed on the brakes, as did I. Barreling west on James Wood was a small green car, its driver intent on a head-on collision. By that I mean the car was heading straight for the front of the SUV with a purpose and there was no way out. There was a line of parked cars to the right and we were still too far from the next intersection to get out of the way. Had the SUV swerved left, I suspect the green car would too. I was a good distance behind the SUV, but an impact at that speed would surely knock the SUV backward into me like a croquet ball. At the very last second, and I do mean the very last second, the driver of the green car swerved back into his lane and continued on as if nothing had happened. He had a woman in the passenger seat who also seemed nonplussed. Meanwhile, SUV guy and I both sat catching our breath until a new car behind me laid on the horn. I played the "what-if" game the rest of the drive imagining the worst possibilities. As he turned left at Western, the driver of the SUV looked back at me, clutched his chest, and waved. Right back at ya, pal.

*How lovely is Beverly D'Angelo in that movie

Saturday, November 27, 2010

I'm the worst aunt ever

Wow, I really suck this year. What's wrong with me? I forgot my annual birthday posts for both my beautiful niece Mary, who turned 15 on November 21st. 15!! She's all growed up.

I cut off her brother and sister in this picture. She'll probably hate me but I love the nerdtastic Chuddley Cannons shirt. That's my Mary--Hugs to you, Sugar Plum.

But my auntly failure doesn't stop there. Yesterday, November 26th, was The Roy's birthday. The Roy! How could I forget? So, let's all wish a hearty Happy (sweet Jesus, he's creepin' up on 30) Birthday to everyone's favorite guest blogger, The Roy!The photo is old but too cute to resist. There's a kitten on his head!

Thanksgiving and good friends (who are incredibly kind and gracious)

I spent Thanksgiving with my friends Jaclyn and Chris, Mary (Jaclyn's mom), Michele (Jaclyn's sister) and Greg, and Lindsay. Oh, and Julia, Jaclyn and Chris's beautiful daughter. Great people all around and always a fun time. I've spent Thanksgiving with these guys for several years now and each year my contribution is pie. Apple for Chris and pumpkin for everyone else. After this year, though, I'm thinking I should just bring ice cream and leave the pies to someone with more experience and a better oven, like Marie Callender or the House of Pies.

First of all, I shouldn't have waited until Thursday morning to start baking, or to go to the store for that matter. Second, I should probably wear my glasses when reading recipes and labels at the store. Third, I really need to learn how not to burn the crust. So, here's the story. My first pie, and the one I am actually willing to put my name on, was Pecan. Honestly, you can't screw up a pecan pie, and the crust didn't burn on this one (woo hoo). However, the making of the pecan pie brought up one very important point--check the cupboard before you go to the store to make sure you get everything you need, because you'll get home and realize you only have enough sugar for two pies and you'll have to figure something out for the third.

So, Pecan Pie in the oven, I started on the apple. Peel, cut, peel, cut, peel, stab yourself, peel, cut, roll out dough, realize it's not quite enough for the glass dish which is larger than the metal pans, roll top crust thinner and hope for the best. I barely had enough crust edge to overlap and not enough to make it fancy. Instead, I covered up with a heart in the middle of the crust and some fancy holes around the top. I guess the apple pie was okay, too. It tasted good and the crust only burned a little on the edges.

But the pumpkin...oh man. How does one mess up a pumpkin pie? Let's see:
  1. Half Libby's can recipe/ half Betty Crocker cookbook recipe
  2. Sweetened condensed milk instead of evaporated or regular milk, as Betty called for.
  3. Run out of white sugar, use only brown sugar.
  4. Realize the condensed milk made it too sweet and overpowered the pumpkin taste.
  5. Add another half can of pumpkin to make it pumpkiny
  6. No cloves! eh, who needs cloves.
  7. Bake an extra ten minutes until the center stops jiggling, and the crust is a charred mess.
I should have just left it at home and bought one along the way. Instead, I bravely brought it and it taunted me the whole day. Fortunately, Greg and Michele brought a pumpkin pie, or Chris bought one while he was out--either way, Thanksgiving was saved. I'm hoping my gracious friends dumped that monstrosity of a pie as soon as I left. You could have done it while I was there. No hurt feelings. I know it sucked. At least Lindsay got dessert this year thanks to Locali and their fine selection of vegan goodies. Oh, and Jaclyn made a pumpkin cheesecake that was delicious!

But, seriously, no more pies for me until I figure out what I'm doing wrong.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

One year closer to a red pantsuit and high kicks*

I turned 46 yesterday. I would have blogged last night but with the shopping and the knitting and the drinking, it was not a blogging kind of night. Plus, I can't find the cord for my camera and I wanted to upload some photos.

As birthdays go, it was good. I brought in cupcakes for everyone, like grade school, so we could have a party, but my friend Criss baked me a cake as well and decorated it with Hand Banana from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. It made me happy. She also gave me a 6-pack of Miller Genuine Draft, some nail polish, Starbucks coffee, and flavored coffee creamers. My office was decorated with a Star Wars themed birthday banner. It's nice when you're friends really get you. My boss, who is out of town, sent an Edible Arrangement. Mmmm, chocolate-dipped bananas. I sense a theme.

I stopped at Vons last night on the way home for baking supplies for Thanksgiving and today's office potluck. Dear Vons: Walnuts are NOT PECANS! Thanks for making me have to go to another store, jerks. And no Karo syrup? What the ?

*You know--"I'm 50!"

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Deceptive Furry Bundles of Evil

I love the kitties. I really do. But why must they be so bad for me? I had a great time at Tina's last night, but just before I left, my asthma started acting up. I forgot that Tina has three cats. I forgot because her cats are notoriously skittish and so you never see them. But last night, Baby and Bones got brave and came out to visit and I forgot that I'm allergic. I hit the old inhaler, but my night was filled with labored breathing and not a lot of sleep. But the kitties...I sure do love them, with their little furry paws and the purrrrrring. Bummer.

I slept most of the day and coughed. And knit.

Oh, quick semi-sweet story: So, I got back to Hollywood just in time for all the club closures and all the drunks trying to flag down taxis or stumble to their cars. Outside The Colony on Cahuenga, there was one particular girl with an extremely short skirt barely standing on her own two feet. She's wrapped her arms around her boyfriend and her skirt rode up in the back. Her man very gently tugged her skirt down, then picked her up and carried her to the car. Maybe you had to see it, but it was very sweet.

Games People Play

I'm calling this the Saturday post because I just got home and haven't gone to bed yet. After an easy afternoon in which I got a mani/pedi and made awesome progress on a knitting project, I zipped out to Winnetka for my friend Tina's fabulous Game Night! Tina lured me out with the promise of her famous artichoke dip. It's sinfully good. Guests were asked to bring a side dish and I was also picking up beer. I stopped at the grocery store near Tina's place and know what I learned? Supermarket cashiers are very judgmental. Like I'm the first person to buy a dozen cupcakes and a 12-pack of Heineken. Shut up; cupcakes are to a side dish.

Anyway, game night was a blast. We played the longest game of Pictionary ever (my team won), then moved on to Taboo (my team won), and capped off the evening with a rousing game of Catch Phrase (my team...didn't win, but only because poor Tyler kept getting stuck with the disc).

Thanks for a great evening Tina and Gary, and Michelle, Ariel, Desiree, Amber, Kevin, and Tyler. Shout out to Tina's niece, Ashley, our official dice roller and timer flipper.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Super Casual Friday

I fell asleep on the sofa again Thursday night but this time, I woke up around 3am and went to bed. Bad move. I slept through the alarm and woke up at 7:55am. I need to have my car off the metered street by 8am to avoid a ticket. I rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth, ran my fingers through my hair, grabbed an elastic just in case it became a bun kind of day, and tossed on the first clothes I could find. Then I grabbed my bags and ran out the door, missing the parking enforcement by a matter of seconds, I'm sure. I was still wearing yesterday's mascara. At work, I managed to moisturize and get a quick extra coat of mascara (I keep some in my drawer for just such occasions) to make myself look less disheveled.

When I pulled into my parking space, I noticed one of the building security guards walk out of the elevator area and over to the wall outside that area. He turned toward the wall and his stance was kind of "I'm going to pee on this wall." I watched him while thinking, "Surely he saw me pull in just now. He knows someone is watching, right?" Then, he put a key or something up to the wall. huh? I know. I was just as confused as you are now. He turned away from the wall and walked over to the yellow post that keeps people from driving into the elevator area and did something there, then walked across the parking lot to the other side of the building. Wtf? I investigated and there's a doorbell on the outside wall of the elevator area. A doorbell! What does it do? Why did he push it and then walk to the yellow post? Does it open some kind of super spy shaft in which he retrieves top secret messages and assignments? I wanted to push the doorbell button, but my luck some trap door would open up beneath me and I was already late for work.

Funniest moment of the day: I was in a deep discussion with my friend about important things like contracts and stuff when I said with some urgency, "Oh shoot, I keep forgetting to make this call." I picked up my cell and dialed the number, indicating to my friend to keep talking, I'm listening. She kept talking and I paused her when the phone was answered at the other end. "Hi," I said, "Do you have any openings for a fill and pedicure tomorrow morning?" The look on her face was priceless. After I hung up, she was all, "THAT was your important phone call?" THAT was worth pausing me?" Well, it has been three weeks since my last fill. My nails are looking kind of bad.

Let's Pretend It's Still Thursday

I work in very close proximity to the LA Live plaza, so we finally have a better variety of lunch options. Even though this is the case, I've only ever eaten at Rock'N Fish, which is awesome in its own right. But you know, once you've sampled the menu, it's kind of boring. We've talked about Trader Vic's but that's really an evening place, so one can enjoy a Mai Tai and designated driver. The Farm (I hear it's great) is kind of loud. That is how we ended up at Rosa Mexicano yesterday. I cannot say enough about this place, but I'll try.

Let's start with the drinks. They had a special Pumpkin Spice Margarita (which I ordered) that was like pumpkin pie in a glass, if your pumpkin pie were laced with tequila. It was spicy and sweet (like me), but I'll admit, was a bit much by the time I got to the bottom of the glass. The Sangria was just right. (I sipped someone else's, lest you think me a lush).

The guacamole was wonderful. They make it fresh at your table in these heavy black cauldron-like bowls. You can choose mild, medium, or hot. (We chose mild and medium) One of the gals ordered ceviche and it looked too pretty to eat. Other orders around the table included a grilled ahi salad with so many ingredients I couldn't list them all here, salmon with tropical fruit mole, white fish tacos, and (my order) Mexican Club Torta, which had a black bean-chipotle spread. It was so good. SOOOOO good. And huge. And came with sweet potato fries and pickled jalapenos. Which is why I was too full and not feeling well when Stitch n Bitch time came around. But, oooh, it was worth it.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Good thing I brought my knitting

So, remember back in July when I got that speeding ticket? Well, I paid the ticket and chose the Traffic School option. I got the letter in the mail telling me how much time I had to complete the traffic school thing and then I completely put it out of my head. Until today. At 3:00pm. It's due tomorrow. And it takes 6 hours and 40 minutes to complete. Guess who's sitting at work waiting for the time to elapse so she can take this cake walk exam and go home?

The course doesn't really take 6 hours and 40 minutes, but they want you to really pay attention to the course...I'm guessing. I have two hours left. Help!

I'm kind of sleepy, too. I hope I can stay awake that long.

UPDATE: I passed with flying colors. It is now safe to be on the road with me.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

It's the little things that make me weep

I had a meeting today, first thing in the morning, which was long and arduous. It left us drained. And hungry. Papa Christo's to the rescue! Hells to the Yeah! A little souvlaki and those delicious potatoes can cure any kind of blues. My order was simple, as it usually is, one chicken kebab plate and two lamb souvlaki plates.

I drove over to pick up lunch, mouth watering for that first savory bite of carved lamb, so spicy. Mmmm....souvlaki. I grabbed the bag with my named spelled correctly (!) and checked the tag. Yep, the order appeared to be fine. I paid the lovely woman and high-tailed it back to the office. Imagine my disappointment when I opened the bag to find one chicken kebab plate and two unspecified meat kebab plates!! BALLS! Honestly, Papa Christo's, I love you but how do you keep screwing up my orders? This is not isolated. It happens far too often and if they weren't the best Greek in the area, I'd stop going there.

Anyway, it was lamb kebabs so at least that part was correct.

Monday, November 15, 2010

I played hooky

Well, technically not since I scheduled this day off, but it felt kind of like playing hooky. I got up early and took Sandy to see the fine mechanics at the Universal City Nissan dealership. Emphasis on fine...although I guess he wasn't a mechanic as much as a "service associate." Anywho, they checked out the crunchy brake sounds (dirt in the brake area--solution: wash your damn car, woman), told me I didn't need an oil change (seriously, who talks you out of an oil change), and got rid of that infernal "low tire pressure" light for me. and it was free!!! You guys are aces in my book.

I got breakfast and hopped on my email (big mistake) to see what was what, and I was late for the Debbie Stoller book signing at Knit Culture, which is why I took the day off in the first place. That's okay. It was a gorgeous day and I didn't really feel like being inside anyway. So, I went over just to pick up my book (it was paid for) and then took a nice drive. Sandy had a full tank of gas and I had no agenda. Well, okay, part of an agenda--I needed to stop at Michael's for yarn. Then I came home and took a nap.

And, since the car repair was free and I was expecting to pay much more, I'm treating myself to pizza tonight. Woo Hoo! Now this is what Mondays should be like all the time.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

That's what Sunday is for

I slept all day. I woke up briefly, discovered my smart phone is being stupid, and went back to sleep. Finally, hunger got me out of bed and I've remained awake since, but I have to tell you, I could go any time...to sleep, that is.

One Action-packed Saturday (updated: now with photo)

After getting up at ridiculous o'clock, and hitting a nearly empty freeway, I joined the ladies of Team Nvision Ending Homelessness for a quick walk about the USC area for the United Way's HomeWalk 2010. Shout out to Gigi, Tammy, Leora, and Criss. We were a small but determined group. The walk was approximately 3.5 miles and we were done in about an hour. I walk slow. I got home around 11:15 and rested for about 15 minutes. Then I was up and in the shower for round two of my busy day.

Around 1:20pm, I arrived at the Hollywood Bowl's picnic area for the 2nd annual Tower Records Sunset Alumni Reunion Picnic (I'm petitioning for a shorter name, guys; like Tower Family Reunion). Wow! What a day! I was blown away by the number of people who came and the broad spectrum of folks as well. We ran the gamut from the infamous (I'm looking at you, Howard) to the brief but memorable (TACO!). I met some of the old guard employees who were before my time, but whose antics are the stuff of legend (Now I'm looking at you, Tammy). And there were the surprises that made my day (Russell!!Murphy!!Crawford!! Andrew!!ROBERT!!!). Looking around at all the wonderful, wacky, and unique individuals who came and went from that place made me realize how much I truly loved working for Tower Records and how much I miss that feeling of belonging. This picnic really was a family reunion, with all the cousins, that crazy uncle, the side of the family that is always late (you know who you are), and the family members who always get the rest of us organized in order to have the reunion in the first place. With that I say a very heartfelt Thank You to Todd Meehan, Shawn Vezinaw, and Dave Miller for bringing this to fruition; thanks to Tammy (great grilling, sister) and everyone who contributed grub for the feast. It was all so good. And thanks to everyone who came to join the fun and remind me what a great group of people I've had the pleasure to call friends.

and in case everyone starts reading this blog all of a sudden, much love to (in no particular order) Kelly, Stephanie, Jennifer, Matt, Chris, Harold, Larry King, Paul Stanley, Christine, Joey, Gary, Rob, Jim, Derrick, Dave G., Dave K., Mike, John, Maria, Olga, Jaclyn, Andrew D., Andrew B., Robert, Howard, Bill, Jeff, Lilia, and anyone else I'm forgetting but who are certainly not to blame for my forgetfulness. (like another Jennifer, Deb, Marea, Mike R., Reynor, Kim, Jodie, Boo Man, and all the kids)

*for the easily confused, the HomeWalk Tammy and the Tower Tammy are two very different Tammys.
Photo stolen from someone's Facebook page. I think Boo Man. Thank you!

Friday, November 12, 2010

How did my day just fall apart?

I came to work in a good mood. I gave the boss good(ish) news that made her happy. I put a kick ass employee newsletter in no time flat. And had a fairly good time all around...until 4:00ish. I heard my cell phone make the "text message" alert sound, so I checked it. There was a voice mail. That's funny, I didn't hear the phone ring. I tried to call my voice mail and a message said my phone was an invalid or something. What? I tried all the usual tricks--full power off, remove the battery, call it names--but nothing worked. I went to the IT guy who told me the person he deals with is gone for the day and he wouldn't be able to do anything for me until Monday. I have off on Monday! Crap! You mean I'll be without a phone until Tuesday??!!?!

Fortunately, one of the other guys in the office called Shenanigans on the idea that there isn't a customer service guy on after hours. He called and got my phone working in about 15-20 minutes. Hooray!! But then I had interweb problems trying to find a website that I KNOW exists so why is the message telling me it does not. I tried to get a few more things done but it was cold in my office and I'd run out of Candy Corn so it was time to go home.

In the car, I dropped my iPod Nano. The parking lot is not extremely well lit. I crawled around my car looking between seats, under seats, and in the crease between the seat and the back with a tiny flashlight, but no iPod. Backing out of the car I hit my head really hard on the door frame. "$#@%^&," I shouted. It still hurts. Anyway, it turns out my Nano landed conveniently (or not) in my purse which is a sucking black hole and I'm going to change it out this weekend!

I'm going to bed. Yes, at 9:00. I have to be up at way-too-early o'clock to join my team for the United Way's HomeWalk 2010. Wish us luck!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Why is casting on so much fun?

Currently, I have, well, a lot of projects on needles. But in terms of active knitting, I have a hat for my brother Brian, Kate's Mittens of Perpetual Postponement, and the argyle double knit scarf from Son of Stitch N Bitch. Then I remembered that I needed a birthday gift for someone, so I cast on for that today. While I was looking for some patterns for the birthday gift, I found another one that I liked a lot and cast on for that, too. Did I need to cast on more projects? Hell, no! Did it stop me? Hell, no! And to make matters worse, I stopped by Ravelry and looked at all the things my friends have faved and queued and I got all kinds of inspired for even more projects.

So much to knit, so little time.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Medicinal Properties of Cocoa

It was powerful cold in my apartment this morning, so I bundled up before leaving the house assuming it would be equally chilly outside. It wasn't. I looked kind of silly. But that's okay, because it was also powerful cold in my office, so vindication was mine!

But then the emails and phone calls started and the frustration and anger levels elevated. When I finally got a chance, I went to the kitchen and made my favorite beverage*--hot cocoa with a shot of Dark Magic coffee. Ahhhhh, cocoa. Is there anything caffeine and chocolate can't cure? Okay, maybe cancer, but have they tried? It was so good, I had two big ol' mugs full and my mood did get better...a little...the aggravation didn't go away so I'd say the mood leveled off at a manageable point.

But tomorrow is a holiday. :)

*my favorite beverage that is socially acceptable to drink at 9am.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

My First Crush

San Diego Momma posted the writing prompt for Tuesday: My First Crush. Do you remember yours? I'm not sure if he's my first crush, but he is the first one I remember. His name? Ricky Ruvo. Ah, Ricky. I was about seven; he was 12ish. He lived up the street and around the corner in a house on a hill. I'm not sure if I can describe him in detail other than brown hair and brown eyes; I honestly can't remember exactly what he looked like as a kid, but for some reason, I thought he was the bees knees. He was tasty in my young mind and I loved the days when Ricky would come down to play at our house. Ricky had a younger brother who was a year older than me named Randy. Randy was a nerdy pain in the ass and kind of a jerk. Their mom was great, though. We girls used to hang out with her and help her clean. (what was wrong with me?) I think she just liked having girls around.

One day, the boys were playing Joust on their bicycles using my friend Joann and me as shields. Ricky used me (dirty) and I was thrilled. Then, and I don't remember the circumstances, Ricky called me ugly. What? Me? I hauled off and kicked him square in the balls. I kicked him good. Then I got a serious talking to from my mother about the dangers of kicking boys in the jewels and how I could hurt his chances of being a father*. (yeah, sometimes Mom just didn't leave it at "it's bad.") Shortly after this incident, Ricky went off to boarding school and I didn't see him for a long time. When we did finally see Ricky again, he walked funny. I was convinced that this was caused by my kicking him in the balls and I have NEVER kicked a boy/man there ever again. Actually, Ricky had been hit by a car or something like that while he was away at school and the new walk was the result of injuries.

Ricky and Randy were gone a lot at school and we didn't see them much, but I eventually moved on. Then, Randy came home from school. Something happened to nerdy, annoying Randy. Suddenly, he was hot...like smokin' hot. Joann and I were both kind of slack-jawed. Where had he been hiding that? Wow! Of course, he was still kind of a jerk so there's that.

*Don't worry. My kick has not hindered his ability to father children.

Monday, November 08, 2010

16,786 days old, but I don't look a day over 13,134

My math nerd friend calculated when she will be 10,000 days old. She's younger than me, so clearly I've missed this milestone, but I wanted to know how many days old I am...16, 786. That doesn't seem so bad. Then, one of the accountants came into her office and we calculated his days--8, 155. How am I more than twice as old as an accountant?!? Sheesh.

Anywho, Did you see the clouds this morning? They were so beautiful hanging low over the mountains.
In order to get a good shot of these, I had to walk to the side of our parking deck. In doing so, I noticed a lot of broken black tinted glass. "What's all this?" I asked myself. Then I looked up and saw this.
How dorky am I that the first thing I thought of was that pilot episode of Angel in which he rolls the other vampire out the window on an office chair. What do you suppose happened here? It's the 6th floor by my calculations. We're dying to know. If you come up with a good story, I'll find something cool from the swag room to send you.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Sunday Surprise!


(I added the chest hair. He seemed to need it.)

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Sometimes there's pie

I must have been exhausted from this incredibly frustrating week, because after I moved the car this morning, I went back to bed and didn't get up until 4:15. I went to the kitchen, made some breakfast/lunch/dinner, and sat on the sofa to watch Alice in Wonderland (the Tim Burton one). I fell asleep again as soon as it was over and woke up in time to move my car again at 9:30. Truth be told, it should have been moved sooner but the parking gods have been good to me lately.

Upon my return to the upstairs, I immediately changed back into my pajamas, changed the DVD to The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, and sat down with some roasted seaweed to snack on...but I wanted something sweet. And that is why I decided to bake an apple pie at 10:05pm. It's in the oven right now. I can't wait. But I will, because it won't be done for another 15 minutes or so, and then I'll have to let it cool. I'd probably have been better off just eating an apple.

While I'm here, can I rant for a minute? [wait, it's my blog; I can do whatever I want.]
So, there's a new neighbor. I think it's a woman because that's who I've seen through the window. No, I'm not a pervert peeking in the windows. There are no curtains and she's living in the garage. Yes, the garage. I've lived here for 11 years and that garage has been in the process of being converted since I moved in. The pre-Frau owners couldn't get the permits, then it didn't pass inspection, and last I heard, Frau was considering making it a laundry room, an idea I was behind 100%. But last week, on Wednesday I believe, I came home to find a car and truck in the driveway and obvious moving in activity.

Okay, the rant is not about the garage becoming an apartment. It's about the car in the driveway. It's been there since Wednesday. How does this Jenny-come-lately get to park in the driveway? Everyone else has to park on the street. I'm paying a fortune in parking tickets and this chick gets the prime spot? No one, in 11 years, has ever had permission to park in the driveway. Rasta Pasta was the only one who ever attempted it and that's because he was ballsy and the previous landlady was scared of him. Maybe she was only granted permission for the moving in and is taking advantage of it while she can. Maybe she's paying extra (I'd pay extra had the option been offered). Maybe she's related to the Frau. Whatever the case may be, it kind of sticks in my craw.

Oooo, pie's done!!

Friday, November 05, 2010

If I could...

If I could, I would buy a reset button. I would reset to last night and stop for gas on the way home, instead of having to get gas on the way in at the more expensive station.

If I could, I would hit that reset button again and strenuously avoid the phone call first thing this morning that set the mood for the whole day.

If I could, I would hit the reset button yet again and take a different route to Starbucks. I would arrive a few minutes sooner than I actually had and most likely have my coffee order in hand before that guy with four venti sticky cappulattemochachinos spilled his entire tray all over the place effectively halting all drink production and making me late for the meeting.

If I could, I would hit the reset button and send Linda for coffee instead. I'd get the fruit from the sidewalk vendor and be sitting pretty in the conference room while she helped the sweet old lady mop coffee off her blouse.

If I could, I would hit the reset button another time and check the recorder for battery power so that I didn't have to get up during the meeting, find a battery, and miss some very crucial information.

If I could, I would hit the reset button and ask the boss who all was in the lunch meeting so that I wasn't short on lunches.

You know what? If I could, I would hit the reset button one last time...and then I'd call in sick. Today just wasn't worth it.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Were you as frustrated as I was today?

I think the heat is making folks stupid, myself included. It started in traffic. I got behind this mini van driven by a woman wearing sunglasses, with both visors down, and still shielding her eyes from the sun. She was going 5 mph and then would stop dead in the middle of the road as it to check to see if the road was still there or if perhaps she were about to drive off a cliff. Arrrgghhh!

For the last two days, the A/C in our building was out. Today, the A/C was on in spades. It was so cold in our offices that my fingers were numb. I had to run them under hot water to thaw them out to finish recreating a document I messed up. I wanted to say something about how cold it was, but our maintenance guy was so pissed at us for complaining he probably would have kicked me in the teeth.

Fortunately, the ladies at the Farmer's Market for Stitch 'n' Bitch were delightful and made me laugh despite the fact that I was sweating my tatas off.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

I really don't give myself enough credit

Today, I spent the better part of the morning getting a bunch of stuff together for a meeting. It was stuff that I don't normally have a hand in, but since we're shorthanded these days, each of us is wearing a multitude of hats. While my ignorance of the subject was frustrating (to me and, I'm sure, to others), I managed to figure out what I was doing and together we were able to put together all necessary information and sent the boss on her merry way.

Then, I set about fixing a document which was lost, then exported into Word from a PDF, which created a boatload of formatting errors. Was it frustrating? You bet. I cursed, more than a few times, the person who lost the original document and the fact that I was the one now saddled with the task of fixing it. I have other work to do--work that I'm sure the boss would consider a higher priority--but this is a priority, too. At one point, someone was on my computer and accidentally closed the document I had already spent an hour reformatting. I wanted to scream. Instead I calmly said, "That's okay. I can find it again with 'recent documents'." Of course, the changes didn't save and I had to start all over again, but what's a girl to do (besides save often).

Late in the day, there was a problem with the boss's computer and I worked with the IT guy to try to fix it. I was on the phone and trying to log in, trying to explain the error, and trying to tell the boss that she'll have to stay off her emails for the night. (ha!)

What really struck me as I was driving home at 8:30pm was this...I was extremely patient today. A lot of what I did today was ridiculously frustrating and unnecessary if someone had just not done this or done that. Yet, I think I kept my usually sharp tongue in check. Also? I know a whole lot more than I think I do. I DO know how to format things. I DO know a little about IT. I should really stop selling myself short. After all, no one else is selling me, short or otherwise.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Judge Porn Star

Is there a rule that says polling place workers have to be cranky and condescending? Look, Lady. My booklet said Green Table. It is not my fault y'all decided otherwise. It's not a big deal to say, "Oh, maybe you're at that table." Also, my name? Ridiculously common. So, why does it take them fifteen minutes to find it on the list. Anyway...I voted! Did you? I have to admit that while I was up on the major offices and propositions, I had no clue about the judges and other little offices. Is it wrong that I voted for a judge because his name sounds like a porn star? I mean, seriously, what image does the name Randy Hammock conjure up for you? Me? I see a guy who looks kind of like this but sounds like this. Don't Google images of the real Randy. It'll ruin the fantasy.

I sure hope he wins.

Monday, November 01, 2010

Rabbit, Rabbit

November is here!!! I love November. I love the way it sounds. I love the way it feels. I love the holidays it contains. I love that my birthday is a mere 22 days away. I love November!!

Since this is my birth month (Chrysanthemums and Topaz) and since I totally dropped the ball in September, I'm going to blog every day with NaBloPoMo. And the theme for November is there is no theme! My kind of theme, I tell ya. That just gives me free reign to babble incessantly (as if I needed permission).

Today is also the birthday of Mr. Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I always thought it was funny that his birthday was the first of the month because I never knew anyone whose birthday was actually the first of the month, except Cabbage Patch Kids. All Cabbage Patch Kids had birthdays on the first of the month. Mine (yes, I had one)(yes, I was too old to have one) was September 1st. (It was a gift from a friend because it "looks just like you did in first grade.")(Don't you judge me.) Anyway, Happy Birthday, Anthony, and anyone else born this fine day.

(I'm feeling very parenthetical today)