Thursday, March 03, 2011

Humor in the midst of chaos

My day was non-stop, action-packed hell from the second I pulled out onto Sunset Blvd, so I have been feeling stabby all day long. Like, seriously stabby, as in "the next person who comes into this office and asks me for something is getting a fork in the eye." I knit for an hour, then drove to Ralphs and indulged in a gigantic salad with lots of crunchy vegetables in it. I feel much better now.

Here are two funny conversations that went a long way in improving my day:

Scene: Crabby woman is answering phones at the receptionist desk. Heterosexual male employee comes traipsing into the lobby singing.

Ken: "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and fun..."
Me: "Those aren't the lyrics."
Ken: "I didn't want to say I feel gay."
Me: "yeah, 'cause singing 'I feel pretty' doesn't already say that."

Scene: Group of employees standing around pouring Nestea drink mix packets into bottles of water.

Christina (to young male co-worker): "Careful! Once you get the tip wet, you'll never be able to pull it out."

Gales of laughter ensued, followed by "ain't that the truth."


foolery said...

Oh, I LOVE those! Laughing like a fool here at my desk. You got my vote for two best comebacks I've heard in forever.

sher said...

so. very. glad. that i didn't have any liquid in my mouth when i read that first one.

and yes, foolery sent me ;-)

Mrs F with 4 said...

Snorting tea onto keyboard...

She sent me, too!

MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

All you need is a "that's what she said", and you have smartazz perfection!