Friday, April 05, 2013

Hillbilly Poetry

In checking my Postini for missed emails, I found the usual plethora of bedroom enhancement drugs, lottery winning announcements, and password hacking warnings.  But interspersed were the strangest subject lines I'd ever seen.  I started reading them and they sounded like random quotes from some colloquial short story.  And so, I present to you, Hillbilly Poetry.

Greetings, My Beloved
I thought this might be in yer interest
But the words wouldn't come
He was awful surprised
It made me shiver
Oh, he done it admirable
Before un you claims it
Thems the very words
I hain't got no money
Why, yonder he is now
He said that would do
That cheered me up
But I never said so
I didn't mean no harm
I was tangled good, now.
It was a close place
Tom said so himself
My Boss thinks I'm kind of a big deal
They all do
Well, then
He was drunk, I reckon
I throwed the paddle down
I whooped and I listened
There, now, that's a specimen
Only they? They told you would
Po little chap
We blowed out a cynlinder head
Oh, he's sly, I reckon
They hain't go it
So, she hollered
Anybody would
Not by a blame sight
That disturbed Jim, and me, too
The family was at home
Phillip, never forget a movie trailer you like

Sponsored by sinus medication that makes me loopy, and cramps, and hunger, and lack of coffee.

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