Sorry, Bev. Sandy's not for sale.

I found this note on my car this morning.  I'm puzzled by the emphasis on car, as if I'd somehow be confused and think she was asking me to buy my private jet.   The other emphases (Hi and Hm) are no less puzzling.  

Hm, indeed, Beverly. Hmm.....

Not to stir up more shit, but...

This is what happens when people park correctly.

If the first car pulls up to the driveway's edge, two cars--even a truck, as you can see--will fit nicely. The red zone begins at that tree root just past the rear tire of the truck.

Also, what's wrong with this poor woman's hand? Is this Linda Richman-Lobsterclaw?

That's all I've got for you today. My brain is fried from the office move logistics.


Link

Holy Spun Sugar, Batman

Everyday I drive past Lucy's Drive In on Washington Blvd on my way home from work. Nearly every day it smells like cotton candy. Lucy's, if you're unfamiliar with it, serves Mexican food. I don't think cotton candy is on the menu at all. It's killing me. What is giving off the scent of cotton candy.

Then a thought occurred to me. What if it's not actually food I'm smelling? What if some villain is pumping out noxious gas with a pleasing cotton candy scent in an attempt to take over Gotham? The whole city will be under his spell by summer and we'll all be forced to wear red noses and big shoes. The Chuckler. He'd be a giant clown.

Clowns scare me.

I'm closing my windows tomorrow.

Seriously? Phillip Glass??

[edit] For Faith (and anyone else wondering):
Rebecca Loos is some Spanish model who was David Beckham's personal assistant, claimed to be his "alternate wife", then came out as a bisexual, then a full-on lesbian (she claims to be able to turn any heterosexual woman lesbian), but is currently dating a MALE rugby player--in other words, she's a nut job.

Diane Kruger is a lithesome German actress who played Helen in the Brad Pitt epic "Troy" and starred with Nicolas Cage in "National Treasure." Frankly, I'm flattered by the 62%, but I chalk it up to my German heritage.

Amanda Seyfried played the dead friend, Lily, on "Veronica Mars." She was also in "Mean Girls", "Big Love," and countless other things. She is, coincidentally, from Allentown, Pennsylvania, which is close enough to call her a home town girl.

I think Diane Keaton, Bridget Fonda, Arthur Rimbaud and Sylvia Plath speak for themselves.

And your point is?

While looking up moving companies today, I found this little tidbit from Hercules Vanlines (that's right, I'm naming names)

Moving to or from Los Angeles ? Thank you for considering Hercules Van Lines relocation services for your upcoming local moving or long distance moving. This site is packed with useful information about our company’s moving services.

Total transformation is the Los Angeles style. Just two hundred years ago this place sheltered hunter-gatherers who danced the porpoise dance. Within sixty years they were trampled by Latinos and their half million cattle. Thirty years later Anglos evicted the Latinos and plowed up pasture for wheat. Thirty years after that the wheat yielded to giant orchards. Another fifty years saw this food torn out for factories and homes. The latest thirty years have raised skyscrapers, superhighways and a new Latino majority.

So, I have to ask--What the hell does that have to do with moving?

Good food, strange politics

China has added new restrictions for foreigners wanting to adopt a Chinese baby . First and foremost, no more single-parent adoptions. Couples must have been married for at least two years before applying. Here are some other highlights of the new restrictions--couples must have a Body Mass Index -- a measure of obesity -- of no more than 40 and be aged 30 to 50, with people up to age 55 considered for children with special needs, according to the agencies. There goes my back-up plan for when the biological alarm clock starts ringing so loud I can't ignore it. (I've already turned it off, but you never know)
The rules bar parents who take medication for psychiatric conditions including depression and anxiety or have "severe facial deformity." What?? Severe facial deformity?? Why on earth should that matter? Honestly, with all the baby girls sitting in Chinese orphanages, you wouldn't think they would be so picky. (okay, the psychiatric conditions thing makes sense).

And this has nothing to do with China or adoption, but Monkeygurrrrrl mentioned something about how all the stupid stunts on America's Funniest Videos are performed by boys, so I couldn't resist bringing you the chimney sweep . Ladies and gentlemen, what kind of logic is at play here. You go to your friend's house to return something; he's not home, so, naturally, you climb down the chimney.

Lastly, this headline just hurt me in my girl parts--Woman With Two Wombs Delivers Three Babies . Two wombs??? That's four ovaries and twice as many menstrual cycles, which, frankly, is two too many. Poor thing.

Poopular

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 725 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

(click here to test your name)
725 people in the United States share my name. My last name is ridiculously common (in the top ten) so I thought there would be more. And I didn't use Laurie Ann, just Laurie. Given how many Laurie's are at the West Hollywood Stitch and Bitch alone, I am really surprised.

I am shocked, however, to learn that there are 1742 people sharing my nephew Roy's name. Roy??? According to this site, it is the 135th most common male name in the US.
Roy??? Seriously???? Because I've known exactly three Roys my whole life and I was related to all of them. My own name ranks 354th in popularity for girl's names.
I am happy to report, though, that 99.64% of all the Roys in the US are male. I suppose the rest are unfortunate girls or gender confused.

I take issue with the results, though. I tested its validity by entering a famous name. It listed said famous person in the "famous people with your last name" section, but listed 0 other people with the same name. Wouldn't the famous person with the exact name count at least as one?