The girl just invites smacking

There's a gal here (we'll call her Kooky McNutjob) who, while seemingly together, is a study in strangeness. She seems to eat healthily, and yet uses artificial sweeteners in her coffee. She is sloppy in her timeclock habits, but will blow a gasket if she's short an hour (are we supposed to just sense that she worked?) She seems to be a tidy person, overly concerned with shelving and drawers for things, yet she will think nothing of leaving her spilled food all over the toaster oven (which she uses instead of a microwave because of health concerns), and her work space is a mess. Some days I just can't take it and explode on her barely stopping before my hand reaches out to smack her upside the head. Yet other days, I simply shake my head in amusement. Today was the latter.

We went to lunch, a large group of us, to a fancy restaurant which Bossman frequents. I love this restaurant too, as they make an awesome Fish & Chips with sweet potato fries. After our meal, the owner of the restaurant came over to offer us desserts on the house. He does this because we eat here at least once a week and we, the boss and I, usually politely refuse. Kooky McNutjob jumps in with "YES!" before the offer is even off the owners lips. "Something chocolatey," she says. Our server shows us a list of desserts and Kooky immediately wants the brownie sundae. Yum. I agree. We also ordered a pineapple-carrot upside cake, a german chocolate cake, and a blueberry cobbler. George brings the desserts out in a trough, not even kidding, and we all grab our spoons to dig in--except Kooky. "Just dig in, Kook," I say.

"Oh, I don't eat sugar," she replies. "I just want to live vicariously through all of you."

Now, the only reason we even ordered the desserts was because she immediately answered when George made the offer. Bossman would have politely refused and thanked him for the service we receive had she not opened her big, non-sugar-ingesting mouth. While she deserved a smack, I just shook my head and laughed because, well, we were in public, and it was kind of amusing.