Tuesday, January 10, 2006

How I Stole My Own Car

One night back in Pennsyltucky I was at a bar on Main Street in Stroudsburg with my boyfriend. We got into an argument (big surprise) and drove off together in his car to talk it out, leaving my car parked in front of The Chop House.
Now, there is no parking on Main Street after 3:00 am, and they had started towing cars by the time Jon and I got things straightened out. We drove back to Main Street to find my car gone and the guy from the tow company loading another car onto the rollback. I asked the guy if I could get my car right then, but he said I'd have to go to the impound lot in the morning and pay $40 to get it back.
I was already upset because of the aforementioned fight, so I was not in the mood to have Toothless Ted tell me I'd have to pay $40 to get my car. Jon suggested we drive by the impound lot to see if we could talk to the boss. Well, at 3:45 am, Toothless Ted was the only one around, and he was busy with up on Main Street. The lot gate was wide open. The temptation great. My blood alcohol level way past the legal limit.
I got out of Jon's car and slowly approached the open gate, glancing nervously around for a guard dog. Seeing none and hearing no barking, I entered the impound lot. My poor little Chevy Sprint was sitting all by itself under the lone spotlight with nothing impeding its drivability. (no boot, no chains, nothing). I guess T.T. was going to get all the cars in the lot before securing things for the night. I looked at Jon with a "Should I?" and he gave me an emphatic nod. I hopped in, and quickly drove off the lot, thus saving myself $40 in towing fees, plus whatever else they would have charged me for storage, and only paid the $8 parking ticket.
Yes, I drove drunk, but it was only over the interborough bridge at nearly 4am in a podunk town with virtually no traffic. All's well that ends well.

Stay tuned for my tales of my misspent youth...

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