Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Ah, the joys of Halloween

I have two alarm clocks--one that wakes me gently with a pulsing light, and one that has an obnoxious voice that says, "One of us has to get up and it ain't gonna be me." This morning after hitting the snooze on the gentle alarm clock, I was slowly, gradually waking through a series of dream snippets. Look, it's Seth Green asking me to top off his popcorn bucket and add more butter, but the bucket is full of Nacho Cheese Doritos. Oh, and here's Paris and Nicole asking me to help them with a prank. Very funny, girls. Ah, and look, here's a father looking lovingly at his son while he sleeps, early morning light spilling across the bed. The father sits on the edge of the bed and lightly brushes the hair back revealing a cherubic face, and then he PLUNGES A GIANT KNIFE INTO HIS SON'S SKULL!!!!!

Whoa!! What the f...? I'm awake now!

It is once again illegal to possess, use, sell or distribute Silly String in the greater Hollywood area from Midnight today until noon tomorrow.

For those of you who have not visited the other Stitch n Bitch blogs, here is the aforementioned Halloween ski mask that I knitted for our party. I'm very proud of it. Now hand over the Candy Corn and no one gets hurt.


I had an appointment downtown today at one of those huge office buildings. It went very well, but we'll see if something comes of it. After my appointment, I went to the lobby to find a whole carnival food extravaganza. Caramel Apples! Cotton Candy! Nachos! Popcorn! All Freeeee!!! Now I totally want a job in this building. (I chose the cotton candy, in case you didn't guess.)


What do vampires like on their nachos? Halloweeno peppers

What's a horny vampire's favorite song? Fangs for the mammaries.

Oh, I crack myself up sometimes.


miss kendra said...

mmmm cotton candy.

miss kendra said...

oh! did you know that last year at some point i interviewed at a place right next to where i work now, and i saw the people who work here having a bbq and i was all, "gee, i should work there." then i didn't get that job and i was bummed, but now i DO work here.


MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

WMG would totally be with you on the cotton candy. I would have bravely passed it all by, only to gorge myself on the "fun size" chocolates in my desk. Sigh.

And you *should* be proud of that mask. It's very cool. Well, probably hot in this weather, but groovy.

Abby Hansen said...

Fangs for the mammaries...oh, you kill me.
Personally, I think the ban on Silly String will lead to the decline of civilization as we know it.
Gee, where were the signs banning the crack dealers?

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