This morning at 8:45am, the landlady called to tell me that the building inspector was coming around today--TODAY--and she has conveniently lost my key for the 15th time. "Could you leave your door open for me?" she asked. Sure, I'm going to leave my door unlocked in the ghetto. I don't care if I am across the street from the police, that's just insane.
And today?? What happened to 24-hour notice? I'm sure he didn't just call her last minute.
So I said to the frau, "Well, I'll be home today, so just ring the bell. My place is a mess, though."
She replied, "Well, you have until 1:00. Clean it up."
And that's what I did. I furiously cleaned my apartment. Now, let me define "mess" for those of you who've never been in my apartment. I'm not saying it looks like a cyclone came through, or that it's in danger of a health code violation, it's just cluttered, and well, messy. And I really needed to vacuum. I have found that it helps to set a timer to 30 minutes and bust a move cleaning one area. In doing that, my kitchen shines like a new dime. My bathroom sparkles and smells outdoor fresh. My bedroom, ah, that's the true work of art. My shoes are lined up by type (sandal, sneaker, dress, etc) and my bed is actually made.
The vacuum didn't want to cooperate, however. My hair got tangled in the brush (the fallen hairs, not the ones actively growing from my head) and burned filling the place with a god-awful smell. I untangled the hair, finished vacuuming, and showered.
I was just finishing up the mascara when the doorbell rang. Frau Pain-in-the-arse came upstairs with the inspector and spent about 2.5 minutes looking around my living room. She pointed out the kitchen, the bathroom and the bedroom, but he didn't go in any of them. He just nodded and said, "Looks good," and left. ARRRGHHH!!! I busted my hump to get this place spotless and that's it!?!?!? So, then Frau PITA said to me, "You need to make me another key."
Why? So you can lose it like the first 15? And I'm not exaggerating, either. Well, maybe a little, but I've made at least 8 keys for her, not including the ones that I'd already had made for family. She's lucky my legs are still hurting so I'm moving slower. Otherwise she'd have been tumbling down the stairs faster than she could say auf weidersehen.