I couldn't post this yesterday, and I don't really have words for it today, but I have to say it because ignoring it doesn't make it not true. Yesterday, in the wee hours of the morning, my brother Brian lost his battle with cancer and went to join my Mom, where she is no doubt telling him to get a haircut and watch his language. It feels very strange to have a gap in the line-up of siblings, like a gap-toothed smile--it looks fine, but you know there should be something there. He fought hard and I'm glad he's no longer suffering, but selfishly I want my brother back.
I love you, Brian. Goodbye.