Thursday, January 25, 2007

I'm cranky, and you're stuck with me.

I'm cranky, folks. Lord Almighty, I could bitch for days...and I probably will, but not here. Here I'll just bitch for a few inches. What's got your favorite Gingham-clad blogger's panties in a bunch? Well, let's start with my asshole neighbors.
Somewhere in this pile of illegally dumped Christmas trees is a fire hydrant.
Can you see it? Neither can I, and I'm betting the fire department would be hard pressed to find it as well. These trees--there are five of them--have been piled along along the sidewalk here since just after New Year's Day. It should be noted that three of these trees, which are piled in front of my walkway, belong to the apartment complex next door. I know this because before the gardening company that services that complex showed up, they were piled in front of that complex. Then the gardeners decided that rather than dispose of the trees, they'd just moved them in front of my house. Thanks, Dick! I told my downstairs neighbor, as he was dragging his tree to the pile, that the city won't pick them up this way. He shrugged and tossed it on top anyway. That's his with the green stand still attached. I'm going to print out the flyer in English and Spanish and leave them in everyone's mailbox tomorrow, because I am sick of looking at and tripping over everyone else's fucking trash!

What else is on my list? Parking. I know, I know--"Parking in LA sucks" is a perennial gripe, so why waste blog space. Well, I'm not talking about parking in LA in general. I'm talking about parking on my street, a privilege for which I pay a yearly fee. Then this place opened and every trendy yahoo in the city has to stand in line for the right to be denied entrance. But first, they must park--badly--on my street. Tonight I drove around the block for 30 minutes to finally park a block away. I could have parked only 1/2 a block away, but the people on that street decided to park their trash cans in every viable parking space. Bite me!

Next up? Zachary and Sarah's Grandpa. This geezer has been in front of me on the 101 on two separate days. What are the chances? Now aside from the fact that he's driving around with the license plate frame that says "Happiness is...being Zachary and Sarah's Grandpa", he's brake happy for no apparent reason. Grandpa, I drive a stick. You remember them, don't you? from back in the good ol' days? Well, it's a pain in the ass when you brake for bingo. Cut it out!

I'm getting sick. I think it's bronchitis, since I'm prone to that sort of thing and my lungs hurt. I was in a bad mood all day today, until I noticed this in our bathroom at work:

I don't know why this delighted me so except that it reminded me of home and childhood. It's a hanger for a Dixie cup dispenser, in case you don't recognize it.
Also, on my way home, I drove past this:
A Carnival!!! Everybody loves a carnival, right? Well, except for you, Tina. It was small, but they had The Zipper, a Merry-go-round, something that look like that Bobsled ride, and a giant slide! (See Tina, not everything just goes around). Then I went to see my knittahs and spoke with my Katie on the phone, and that made me feel better.


Sachi said...

Oooooohhhhh!!!! Zipper!

MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Hunnnny!!!! People are stupid and sometimes, it's just hard to take any more. We understand. If it makes you feel any better, I'm in total agreement with you (especially about the braking; that sh*t drives me batty!), except for the carnival. I like to look at them, but there's no way in heck I'd ever let the WMG go on any of the rides - they always look so dirty and skanky and not well maintained. (A/k/a, the disneyfication of amusement.)

But it's FRIDAY!!!!

Frank said...

Farmer's Son here, I guess...

You didn't seem cranky to me. Oh wait, YOU WERE! I remember some expletives as you tore off your wristlet and exclaimed that you were giving up...

Do you smoke? Can you flick your cig onto the dried up trees? Should take care of it... ;o)

Chris said...

I was just surfing the Net, looking for knitting patterns (why am I not sounding very convincing?) and found your picture of discarded Christmas trees.

So this is what Hollywood is really like, huh? You should try living here for a while. You might enjoy it: We are so used to finding dog doo-doo on the pavement (that's 'sidewalk' to you) that we have evolved a peculiar but strangely balletic way of tiptoeing round the brown patches on our weekly stroll into town.

Laurie Ann said...

Several people suggested setting the trees on fire. Did you all miss the part about the hidden fire hydrant??
The trees are far too close to my house to chance a giant blaze.