We'll be right back after these messages.

I love commercials. You know how some people can tell you about every video that played on MTV during the 80's? I can tell you about commercials. I love them. I'm an advertisers dream. In fact, when I tape a show, I don't fast forward through the commercials, unless it's late and the show is LOST and I really just want to find out what happened.

So, with that in mind, and with nothing else to say, here are some commercials that are tickling my fancy lately:

Don't you want me, Baby?--How cute are those Chips Ahoy cookies in their little red convertible with their little seat belts singing along to their "Totally 80's" CD--until a dark shadow descends upon them and they are picked off one at a time by a ruthless killer. I love the look on the driver's face as he realizes what's happening a second too late. A thought occurred to me last night: What's going to happen to the car? It's going to plunge over that cliff. I can hear the highway patrol now, "There's no evidence of foul play, but it appears the passengers were eating cookies before they abandoned the vehicle."

Helpful Honda Salesmen--There's a new series of Honda ads in which people complain about dishonest car salesmen and the Honda salesman apologizes and ends up doing some dirty job around the house to be helpful. So the one in which the guy gets the bait-and-switch on a truck deal, he calls the dealer a tool. He actually says, "What a tool." (hee hee--he said "tool.") I don't know why, but "tool" used in a derogatory manner makes me giggle involuntarily. Roy, back me up here. We all know he means, "What a dick." I can't believe they used "tool" instead of "jerk" or something. I'm still giggling. Also, I love that he makes the Honda guy put together Ikea furniture.

Vons Super Bowl--This one will only make sense to Angelinos, unless there's a Vons sister store like Albertsons/Sav-On has Jewel/ Osco in the Midwest. Okay, so you know the commercial with the paper doll people preparing for a Super Bowl party? Listen carefully when the marching band comes out of the cooler and marches across the living room. I think it's supposed to be a tuba, but it totally sounds like the band has the walking farts. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. Farts make me giggle, too. I'm right there with you, Laurie. [If you really don't know what the walking farts are, listen to a Larry the Cable Guy CD--don't you dare judge me. Rednecks is funny.]

Vee Dub in da house--How great is Peter Stormare in those Volkswagen "Unpimp your auto" commercials? Rockin' da German engineering, yah? Volkswagen always has some great commercials, and I'm not just saying that because I drive one. Does anyone remember the Cabrio ad in which these 20-somethings drive at night to the backing music of Nick Drake's Pink Moon? It's beautiful. Or the ad when they were introducing the new Beetle convertibles to the tune of ELO's Mr. Blue Sky? I've been practicing making the VW sign with my fingers, but haven't quite mastered it yet. Plus in LA, it might get me killed.

Honorable Mentions:

• The cell phone ad in which the Dad text messages his kids at the dinner table. The son's delivery is perfect.
• The T-mobile ad in which the younger brother picks his sisters hot friends to be in his five. I like the mom's nod at the end.
• The other T-mobile ads with Charles Barkley and Dwyane Wade (yes, that's spelled correctly), especially the one where the waitress thinks Barkley is his dad.
• The Honda Element ad with the crab (I Pinch), and the newer one where the crab is jealous. Okay, I like the French penguin too. I hate the Element though. I mean, what's with that plastic door?
• It's late now, but the Staples Christmas advertising with the panel of experts. I especially love Engerbert's winking and saying, "Take this to your mother."
• The Cheez-It commercial in which the little girl explains how they get the big cheese taste into the tiny crackers. Her face at the end is one I make almost daily because people just don't get me. (again, Laurie, I feel you)

We now return to our regularly scheduled program.