Palm Springs Weather

Fri Jun 29 Sunny 112°/77° 10%			112°F
Sat Jun 30 Sunny 113°/79° 10%			113°F
Sun Jul 1 Sunny 113°/79° 10%			113°F Protect Your Plants From the Heat

I will be in Palm Springs for the next three days for a Strategic Planning Retreat. If you don't hear from me on Monday, you may assume I've melted into a puddle of goodness and light somewhere in the Coachella Valley.

An Illustration of my Rodeo Grill experience courtesy of Stephen Pastis

Sorry, I have a migraine and that's as much as my head can handle.

I could not be more of a Gringo

I finally went to Rodeo Grill for lunch, and the menu is mostly in Spanish, with pictures for the rest of us. I thought I was safe ordering a #28 (Burrito combo) as I wouldn't have to fumble with my really bad Spanish skills. Then the girl behind the counter asked me things like "Pollo, Asada, Chorizo?" Um...."Steak?" (Asada, for future reference).
Then, inspired by Catherine and Frank and everyone else who's been blogging about the deliciousness of Tres Leches cake, I tried, oh so miserably, to order it. I can pronounce French like crazy, but I sounded like Peggy Hill trying to say "Tres Leches". I finally held up the counter display and pointed at the picture.

Then I hung my head in shame.

But the food was cheap and tasty and the cake--Boy Howdy--it was worth the embarrassment.

Ladies Room update: Baby Daddy Drama was in the Crazy Room this morning straightening her hair with a flat iron. Accompanying her were two friends, one of whom was crying. They were so loud you could hear them down the hall--or at the very least, in the men's room next door. M------, our temp, ventured in to pee (what a concept). Suddenly, Baby Daddy Drama looked at her phone and gasped. It was a text message---from her boss---who was standing out in the hall listening to them carrying on. BDD panicked and asked my co-worker to hold her flat iron so the boss didn't know she was in there doing her hair. So, as far as I know, the flat iron is still in our possession. I suggested holding it for ransom.

ba dah ba dah dah dah

Monday, Monday (see above)

Where was I all weekend? Oh, right there on the sofa. I tried in vain to channel my inner Catherine and actually finish a baby sweater in one weekend, but then I had laundry and I had to finish minutes from our last board meeting before this morning and there was this protest that closed streets and made parking a mess, so I couldn't move my car and ....the dog ate my blog post. I need some ambition. Does anyone know where I can find some?

I'm po' folk, so I mooched some food from a baby shower. Oh, it was here at work. I don't want you to think I just roamed the streets looking for a party. It was a work shower, but I don't really know the mom-to-be that well, so I felt like a big ol' party crasher. It was worth it for the macaroni-tuna salad and the ambrosia (because I'm small town and it ain't a picnic without ambrosia). She's the gal I was making the sweater for, though, so I guess I shouldn't feel too moochy. Whatever. It was better than Top Ramen and burnt corn muffins (damn oven).

In other news, the tranquility fountain that my boss gave me for Christmas is finally up and running. However, it splatters water so I have to find a creative solution. I have some ideas. I'll let you in on them next week.

I cannot stop laughing

This is the best video ever and it's only 5 seconds long. Do yourself a favor and watch this. No, wait, bookmark it and watch it over and over whenever you need a lift. Just thinking about it is sending me into a fit of giggles. I promise it's not as annoying as Candy Mountain.

It's Tuesday. This is all I've got for you.

The Chuck Wagon is still parked on my street and I'm a little peeved. To whom does this thing belong? And, why is it taking up parking? Grrrr

Someone had an evaluation and is getting a raise.

The ladies room freaks have gotten weirder. Today, I was in the bathroom and thought I was alone because it was dead quiet in there. As I was washing my hands, I checked my hair in the mirror and noticed legs under the stall across from the sinks. The legs were not seated. They were standing legs. Standing-right-up-against-the-door legs. I suddenly got this very creepy feeling of being watched, so I rushed out of the bathroom. What the hell? What is wrong with the women across the hall? Why can't they just get in, pee or poo, and get back to work? Why are they so freakin' freaky about doing their business? Have they never read the book "Everybody poops"? Oh, that reminds me...

This story is totally second hand, but this guy I used to work with (Mac) worked at a book store (I think it was Crown). He was at the info desk when an old man with a familiar voice came up and said, "Pardon me, do you have "Everybody poops"? And the old man was Charleton Heston. The story is much funnier with Mac doing the voice, but go ahead and think of Moses saying "poop" and see if you don't get the giggles. Maybe it's just my 12 year old sense of humor.

Oh, Hal Fishman is spitting mad. Watch out in the front row.

All day long I've had "If I Only Had A Brain" playing in my head. At one point, I was freezing because of the mad A/C in my office and I walked into the break room shivering and singing, "brrr brrr brrr brr brr brrrr brr brrrrr..." to the tune of the aforementioned song. Co-workers backed away slowly.

Everyone should go out quick and pick up a bag of the Mystery Doritos X-13D. The idea is to taste the chips, then log on to the site and name the flavor. You can play a game to get clues as to the flavor. I won't tell you what I think because I don't want to ruin my chances of a winning a year's supply of Doritos. (and I wonder why I can't lose weight)

That's it. I'm outta here.

And I forgot to call my Daddy, too.

I may not know a whole lot about cars, but I know this--When one spends a couple of hundred dollars having ones brakes replaced, one shouldn't drive have to put all of one's considerable weight on the pedal to stop the car. One also should not have their brake light come on accompanied by an ear piercing beep (seriously, Volkswagen, you couldn't have installed a more pleasing sound?). One shouldn't experience these things especially after one saw the mechanic take one's car for a test drive.

Okay, I'll get out of the hypothetical and into what happened. My brakes may have made a horrible metal-scraping-metal sound, but by God they stopped the car. Driving down Hollywood Boulevard, after leaving the garage where they assured me I had two new rear brakes and my front brakes were fine, I nearly ran over a skater boy when my brakes failed to stop in time and I rolled into the intersection. I knew something wasn't right as soon as I pulled out of their parking lot, but I thought it was just because they were new. After the near fatality, I made the first right I could find and headed back to garage where I, still shaking from the look of horror on skater boys face and close to tears, cried out, "Something ain't right with my brakes." Turns out the mechanic failed to screw the cap on my brake fluid receptacle causing air in the line or something. They're fine now, and oh so quiet.

But look what I did while I waited for Manny, Moe and Jackass to fix my brakes.

















Posies!!! I modified the recipe. It was originally done on straight needles and seamed. It's too little to seam. Here are the originals (below). I think mine--done in the round with an I-cord stem--are better.

I'm making them for some ladies at work who were very helpful this week.

One last thing...
Look what's parked in front of my apartment, as if parking on my street isn't difficult enough.



I wouldn't mind it was actually working and making me some ribs.
mmm...barbecue!

Another day, another meeting

Prizes were awarded. I won a Starbucks gift card. Woo Hoo!

So, a co-worker suggested the Reboundair mini trampoline for exercise. He says it's great for us less-than-fit types with bad knees. I visited the website. What's going on here?Kinky.

Sunday's Sundries

You know you've lived in LA too long when you see a filming notice and your first thought isn't "Wow, I wonder if there will be any big stars," but "The Goo Goo Dolls are still together? Is this going to mess with my parking?" The answer to these questions is Yes and No. Apparently they will be filming a music video on a rooftop ala The Beatles, U2 and The Be Sharps. In the words of George Harrison, "It's been done." If you're interested, though, they'll be somewhere in the vicinity of Sunset and Vine (because the parking is 6290 Leland Way at Vine) on June 13th between 4pm and 6am. Look for the hovering helicopter with attached camera.

I know it's my emotional time of the month but I have been teary over animal stories lately. First, I watched The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill and got all weepy over the death of one of the birds. The hawks got him. He was lonely and old and just couldn't escape them. I cried for the poor lonely bird. And the guy who knew all the birds and could hand-feed them had to move and take some of the birds to an Oasis in Arizona. When he went back to visit one a few years later, it was very bittersweet.
Then came the TV movie, Ruffian. I defy anyone not to get choked up when her ankle shattered mid-race and she didn't stop running. The poor girl was in so much pain. Oh My God. I was sobbing for for the last ten minutes.
Today I was reading about a black lab who has a throat injury so he can't wear a collar or anything around his neck. He reminded me of Sam, the lab that belonged to a former landlord who was partially blind and his "sister," Lady, a collie who was deaf. Together they made one heck of a team.

Well, I've got nothing else. Have a good week!

Ladies Room of Horror

Our new offices occupy half a floor of this building. The other half is law offices. There are no bathrooms in the suites, just one semi-public restroom in the hall for which we all have a key. And, folks, it's FAR from my office. I have done the wiggle-walk more than a few times. Anyway, I am here to tell you, our new neighbors are freaks!

Sometime in the first few weeks after we moved in, I was in the Ladies room along with two women from one of the other offices. One gal, who we'll call Baby Daddy Drama, was going on and on about the trouble she's having with the father of her child, a deadbeat dad who's sleeping around and claiming he's not the father, etc, etc (watch any Maury show for details). I'm all for sharing with your friends, but right there in front of a total stranger? Girl. Now, every time I go to pee, BDD is in there on her cell telling her business to everyone.

Then, a few days ago, A---- came back from the restroom with a quizzical look on her face. She explained that when she walked into the restroom, all three sinks were running full blast. Thinking some kid was playing, she turned them off. A voice from inside a stall cried out, "Please don't turn the sinks off!" A---- compromised by leaving one on. Apparently, the lady has shy bladder/bowel syndrome and doesn't want people to hear her peeing or pooping. Ohhhkayyy. Nice to meet you, PeeShy. By the way, we can still hear you.

Today, A------- came back from the restroom with the same quizzical look on her face. "There are shoes in the stall, but no feet," she said. I asked if she was sure the stall was occupied, and she said, yes, she could hear paper rustling, but there were no feet, just empty shoes. We came up with several scenarios, from sitting Indian-style to standing on the seat and squatting, but couldn't come up with a solid reason why a person would pee in that position. I guess the Invisible Woman works next door.

One day, Boss Lady was in there and someone in the last stall, who was stinking up the place if you know what I mean, was making gagging sounds like she couldn't stand the smell. Lady, it's your shit. If you can't stand the smell, who can? Here's to you, Mrs. Myshitdon'tstink.

Today, I encountered PeeShy for myself. Not only were all three sinks running, but they were on HOT. I turned two off and turned the last one to cold. There was no cry from the stall, so I guess she's used to us now.

It may be just the women, because I haven't heard any stories from the menfolk. Who would have thought that we would be the normal ones?

Golden Arches of Entertainment

I had to get more screws--MORE SCREWS!!! It sounds like a battle cry. But really, it's just that I can't count and at two screws per name plate, I needed 52 screws, not the 26 I bought. Eh!

But McDonalds is right there in the parking lot. I know. Two trips to Mickey D's in one week is not good for you. But how can I resist such entertainment?
First, there's my one-eyed vampire McNugget--I call him Count Chickula.

Then there's my toy. I'll let this picture speak for itself.

Is it just my dirty mind?

Ah, the Home Depot

I went to the office today to hang name plates on office doors, only to discover that the screws I picked up earlier were not the right size. That's what I get for eyeballing them. So, Sergio and I spent some time measuring, laser leveling and drawing lines. I had to go back to Home Depot to return the wrong size screws and pick up the right size ones. Sheesh!

At the Depot, though, I also picked up a fresh can of Ant & Roach spray (because it's nearly ant season) and then I was drawn to the garden department. No bamboos (well, one, but the planter was ugly), but I got these:

Audrey 2 doesn't have a name on her tag, so I named her that because of the teeth. These were in separate pots. I grouped them like this.

Every home needs an aloe plant for those occasional kitchen mishaps. Yes, I named him.

The marble egg belonged to my brother Michael. He left it behind when he left home (on my 18th birthday) so I keep it with me wherever I move. The smiley mug cost 25 cents at an Echo Park yard sale. The windows are dirty--deal with it.

Must be the "pretty girl" discount

Jamie is all better now! Yippee! Well, not all better, she's still dented, but she's got pretty new spark plugs and wires, and the nice men at VW topped off the wiper fluid and power steering fluid, plus they drained my oil overage and (shhh, don't tell the boss) gave me a new oil filter. PLUS, they gave me a 10% discount on the labor. It must be because of my beauty and my awesome rack. I looked over the bill and the $149 they were going to charge for the oil and fluid check is labeled as "10,000 mile maintenance". Well, kids, I haven't even driven 5,000 miles since the last time I had it at their shop, let alone 10,000; and they charged me the $149 last time for the same maintenance service. Hell, it hasn't even been 3,000 miles. I declined that service (and I'm taking it to my friends, Manny, Moe & Jack). My brakes--only the rear passenger side though--are metal to metal, so I'd better get that fixed right quick. All in all, I ended up paying much less than I was quoted, so maybe I won't be eating Ramen noodles for the next two weeks.

But not this week, because I don't have the time or money. My weekend is full of errand running, nameplate installing, photo show helping, sunflower repotting, and the ungodly amount of laundry that has piled up. I'm tired just thinking about it.