Friday, April 16, 2010

As I live and breathe

Hello All! Just wanted to let you know I'm still alive. I can't believe I have been away for two weeks. In all honesty, you didn't miss a thing. I've been crazy busy at work and nothing has been happening her at Chez Gingham. So, what can I tell you...

Frau News--I got cornered by Latina Gladys Kravitz Monday night and she said, "Oh, I have this for you." It was a flier from the Frau. "All Tenants: Trash Cans Must Be Brought To The Curb On Thursday Night & Removed ASAP Friday!" [All capitalization is Frau's.] I believe I've mentioned how my inconsiderate neighbors leave their trash cans out all week long, and recently, they've taken to leaving them in front of the driveway (the one that only Frau uses on those occasions when she visits). The city came to ask Gladys if she was the owner and told her there would be a fine if we didn't pull the cans in after pick up. Then, somebody threatened to sue Frau because one of the cans got tipped over and scratched a BMW paint job (whoever parks a Beemer in my neighborhood should understand the risk involved. I mean, people have sex on the street here). So, Frau did what she always does--the bare minimum. She wrote a flier. Thanks!

What? Sex on the street?--I know you read that line and did a double take, didn't you. Yeah, last week sometime I went out to my car in the morning and dropped my keys. I bent to pick them up and saw [Ew Factor Warning!] a used condom on the street right where I was about to step. Thank God my keys didn't fall there because I would still be disinfecting them. So I straighten up and say "ew ew ew ew" about a hundred times, when I notice a distinct ass print in the dirt on my car door. Yeah, not only did they have sex in front of my house, they did it UP AGAINST MY CAR!!!! Say it with me, "ewwwwww, ew ew ew ew ew ew."

Here's a question for the masses: Do you consider someone fluent in English if English is their first language, even though they may speak in a ghetto dialect? Or, must someone speak properly all the time in order to be considered fluent? Sound off in the comments, please. It's an argument I've been having with a friend for a week now. I say if English is the person's primary language, they are fluent. The second statement would mean that rednecks and such, people with local dialects, are not fluent in English. That's just silly. What do you think?


mamamouseiam said...

My RSS feed has been kind of lonely without you. ;-D

Ewwwwww! Thank goodness for Lake Wobegon ruralism, where the dust and grime on our vehicles is safe. (But, dang, my life is soooooo boring next to yours!)

Finally, if English is one's first language and they speak it easily and accurately (albeit in a ghetto dialect, or in my midwestern "accent"), then they are fluent. Fluency has to do with ability, not style. You are correct, Laurie Ann!

Annika said...

I agree with you, but I do so reluctantly because many dialects hurt my poor little editor's brain.

Anonymous said...

thank goodness for condoms, could you imagine the mess without one. i agree with you. if you can un derstand and speak a language you are fluent.

could you find something more interesting to argue about like say who's got the best pitching staff in baseball.

San Diego Momma said...

Are you sure that condom wasn't a balloon filled with rain water? And that the car ass print wasn't just from a wandering baboon stopping for a short rest against your automobile?

Really, you shouldn't jump to conclusions until you know for sure.

Also. Yes. Fluent.

woolanthropy said...