Thursday, September 27, 2007

Holy Crap! That guy is dead--AND NAKED!!!

That's what I cried this morning as I gazed out my office window to the streets below and watched LA's finest loading a NAKED dead man onto a stretcher. And they didn't cover him up at all!!!! Okay, sure, as they were trying unsuccessfully to revive him, they finally dropped a folded sheet over his genitals--and I mean dropped, very casually as if it were a rag they had just used and were discarding. No respect!

Here's the scoop from what we could piece together: Somewhere between 9:00 and 9:30 am, this man ended up on the sidewalk across the street from our office building. I heard the helicopters and one of my co-workers came in and said "there's a man lying on the sidewalk." When I looked out, the paramedics were loading him--naked--onto the stretcher and his clothes were arranged on the sidewalk perfectly as if the wearer had merely evaporated. There was wetness on the sidewalk beneath his legs, but it wasn't blood. Probably pee. Apparently, the paramedics undressed him to find the source of his injury as there were no obvious wounds. There was no blood that we could see. The cute detective told us he was shot, but not where on his body. This was the second shooting in two hours and they weren't sure if the two were related. The first incident occurred fairly close by, but not right around the corner or anything. He must not have been shot where he lay because we would have heard the gunshot (unless they used a silencer). Witnesses saw someone run south just before the body was discovered.

My boss, her daughter and I watched from my window trying to figure out what was going on and why weren't the detectives taking photos of the crime scene, bagging his clothes, and all those other things the cops on TV do when a body is found. A crazy homeless lady walked up to the police line and was gesturing wildly to the sheriff's who were guarding the scene. Then she ducked under the yellow tape and no one stopped her. "Crazy knows something," my boss said, as we ran over to her office to get a better look at the action. Sure enough, the detectives took Crazy over to a quiet area and questioned her. She gestured wildly some more, then pointed to the body area, then pointed south, then made motions like stumbling, then gestured some more. The lady detective led Crazy off to our side of the street behind some trees so the three of us trotted down to another office that offered an unobstructed view.

Soon, cute detective (I'm a sucker for the dimples) came by to ask us if we saw anything or heard anything. None of us had, except for the gal who saw the body when she came in.
Needless to say, I stayed inside for lunch today.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I got a dress!!

I finally found the perfect dress for the fall fundraiser. It's soooo cute and it's the perfect little black dress, only not so little because I'm not so little. It was the very last one of this style available and it just happened to be in my size. AND--it wasn't on the website a week ago, so it pretty much sold out in a week and I got the last one. Yippee!!! I'd include a photo but they took is off the site already.

Why I spent so much money on a purse that wasn't even for me.

Yes, the football was way too much money. It was kind of an impulsive purchase but I don't regret it after seeing how happy it made Tami. I would normally never pay that much for a purse. Hell, I balked at paying $40 at the outlets for a Kipling bag. But Tami has been so down lately and nothing has seemed to go right for her in a very long time. I think I've mentioned her in passing a few times. And yes, she drives me crazy much of the time, but she's also been there for me when I really needed someone to lean on, so it's give and take.

Tami, whom I've known for 20 years, has a rare liver cancer and almost two years ago she underwent a 10-hour surgery to remove a tumor that also removed a portion of her pancreas, stomach and liver. She has to take pills before each meal for the rest of her life to help her digest food. She has to have monthly injections of this statin-type drug that is so expensive she can't even calculate how much it has cost so far. She has these spots on her liver (liver spots-hee) that are very slow growing cancer and these injections shrink the spots. They are basically like a chemotherapy treatment directed at the source instead of killing everything. So every couple of months she has to have an MRI to check the progress of shrinkage. She's very claustrophobic so it's hell on her. Also, these injections leave her sick and her muscles sore for days afterward, and then sick again for the week before she's due for the next injection. When I was with her on Monday, the nausea hit her like a freight train out of the blue and she was ghostly pale and sweating for the rest of the night.

Her long curly blonde hair, her favorite feature, is falling out. She lost about 75 pounds and none of her clothes fit. She has no money to spend on herself (not like I do, but that never stopped me) so she's wearing skirts and tights from two and three years ago and they keep falling down around her ankles, which is funny, but kind of pathetic.

So, you see, knowing how much she loves football, and unique purses, I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to make her happy if only for a little bit. And she was really happy for the first time in a long time.

I'll try to be more upbeat in my next post.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Tami (you know, my BFF, the Shut In, etc) had a birthday on Friday (Sept. 21). Her gift was being delivered via UPS and I missed the delivery. Arrggh! The UPS note said they would deliver Monday between 2:00 and 5:00, so I took a half day to wait for the package. What was so important? This:Isn't that awesome? Tami is a HUGE football fan, so it's just perfect for her. Yes, it's made from an actual football and even has a little pocket inside. As soon as it arrived, I called to make sure she'd be home and ran out to Pasadena (in rush hour traffic, because I'm a good friend) to present it to her. She was thrilled. She really, really loves football.

Now, it didn't dawn on my until this morning on my way to work that she turned 40! The realization hit me hard. I have this whole collection of friends (and some former friends) who were all born in 1967 and it kind of hit me that they're all 40 years old now. Bruce is 40! Chris is 40! Nick will be 40 very soon! Everyone is 40!! Okay, I may be overreacting but I've known some of these people since they still had a 2 in front of their age so it's a little strange to me. I still haven't come to terms with my own age. How can I be expected to see these guys (and Tami) as 40-year-olds? It's all beyond strange to me.

But hey, look at that purse. Isn't it neato? The company that makes them also makes basketballs (ugly), soccer balls (kind of cute), and baseballs (waaay too small, but nice for a cocktail party with the Garciaparra's). You can find them here.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

We have weather

As I was preparing to leave my office today (yes, on a Saturday--I had a meeting) this is what I saw hovering over Hollywood:
You can't see it because of the cloud cover, but right in the center of that black area is the Capitol Records tower, which just happens to be a few short blocks from my home. Yippee! I love driving right into a storm.

Of course, I'm only half complaining. I love rain (in moderation) and it's great to finally have weather to speak of. But still, that black cloud looks like it's fixin' to funnel and reminded me of The Day After Tomorrow.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Posted by Request

Last night at SnB, Jenna asked for an update on the ladies room. Bridget asked how Nacho was doing. So, without further ado, here are your updates.

Nacho Libre Rocks!
Nacho is back to his sweet goofy self, although his fins are not quite as spectacular as they were in the beginning. He's happy, though, as evidenced by his little Bubble Nest shown here.

He wags his tail when I walk by the tank and watches TV with me (he loves him some ANTM). And for some reason, this goofball is obsessed with the filter. He'll wiggle his head and half his body into the opening before I catch him and shout, "Get out of there." (yes, he listens to me)
All in all, using bottled water and a week of Betta Fix seemed to bring him back to health.

Ladies Room of Horrors
A report I was waiting on was late. I needed the report to put together packets for a meeting. It was 5:30 before I got the report (or later, I lost track) and I still had to number the pages, make copies, put booklets together, set up the conference room, etc. You can imagine the mood I was in when I visited the ladies room and found Baby Daddy Drama and one of her cohorts holding court. BDD was sitting on one end of the counter and her friend was sitting at the other end, with her feet up on the sinks. BDD called one of their other homegirls: "Bitch, why ain't you answering my %$@#* calls. I know you got caller ID." The two giggled incessantly. When I came out of the stall to wash my hands they looked at me as if to say, "Bitch, why you in our space." The friend was applying even more eyeliner to her already coated lids while BDD fiddled with her hair. If they had been smoking, I would have thought I was back in high school with Laurie Pastor feathering her hair and sighing, "I miss Ron."( her boyfriend who went to public school in New Jersey) I going to have to rename this the Ladies Room of Whores. [just to be clear, Laurie Pastor was a sweet girl, not at all like BDD and Company--she just hung out in the ladies room a lot at school]

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I heart salad

I have had a giant salad for lunch every day this week. Why? Well, because a delicious new restaurant opened up at 23rd and Figueroa and the salads are soooooo good. They have, like, 35 different salads to choose from, plus other menu items.

Monday I had the Chinese Chicken Salad:
Do you see all the chicken on this salad? Yowza! You'll note the absence of mandarin oranges as I ate them first.

Tuesday, I had the Fajita Chicken Salad. No photos available of this delectable treat as I was eating at the front desk and didn't have my camera. Trust me--it was delicious. Mixed greens, corn, salsa, grilled chicken all in a tostada shell. YUMMY!

Today, we ordered salads for the Director's meeting. I went with the Caesar Salad w/ chicken.
Again, more chicken than you can shake a financial report at. The dressing was tangy and delicious. No anchovies, either.

They have panini, quesadillas, soup of the day, and stuffed baked potatoes too.This was dinner Monday night.

Where can you get tasty salads like this?
2210 Figueroa Street
Los Angeles, CA 90007
(213) 748-3111

Monday, September 17, 2007

People are weird...and my car still smells bad.

I opened my trunk this morning (big mistake) and as it's still messed up from my accident, I had to slam it really hard to get it to close. A homeless man sleeping on the sidewalk near my car peeked his head out of his blanket and said, "Do you mind?" Seriously? Dude, you're sleeping on a sidewalk in the middle of the city. The police station, where they are digging up and repaving the parking lot, is 30 feet away. Somehow I don't think my trunk slamming shut is the loudest thing you'll hear today. I don't mind you sleeping in the flower bed, so give me a break about the trunk slamming.

Referrals to my blog are usually just links from friends' blogs or boring logical links, but I found these to be particularly amusing:
  • Laurie Ann in blue spandex--I assure you all, this will never happen.
  • Baby toe pricked by a witch--Daddy always said I came from an old witch in the woods, but I promise, your children are safe with me.
  • Adrian Grenier does cute thing--Well, I'm sure he does many cute things but not on my blog.
  • Brass Brassiere--colder than a witch's... This one I get.

and my all time favorite:

  • Started with a headache, then muscle pain and now I can't grip anything--For Crying Out Loud, man; get off the computer and see a doctor. Sheesh!

Meanwhile, I used Febreeze on my car last night and it smells even worse today. I found that some of the cream spilled down to the floor of the car as well (I hadn't noticed it Friday). I may have to have the interior professionally cleaned. Any suggestions?

Oh, and if you're bored and surfing the net anyway, I urge you to go to YouTube, type "The Guild" into the search box and watch all three episodes. It's worth a chuckle or two.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Two strikes, and finally a home run

I tried to visit two different yarn stores and was denied! Say it ain't so! How will I find the proper sock yarn for my Ravenclaw swap partner? Crap, I say. I think I'll go to WalMart. (cue the horror music now)

I went for a few items, like pants, a few tops, hair color, Downy wrinkle releaser--that's all. But there are things--low low priced things--that needed purchasing. I spent too much money and still forgot to buy something to clean my car upholstery. My car smells like feet.

But I have groceries in the cupboard, and toiletries to last a while, and cleaning supplies, and pants!
Success at last.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Jane says "Are you ready for some football?"

Who would have thought you'd ever see Perry Farrell singing the theme song for ESPN's Saturday Night Football alongside Kelly Rowland and 50 Cent? Certainly not me, but there he was in Times Square at the Pontiac Garage.

I have nothing of substance to say, just a few ramblings.

New backyard neighbors stole my garbage can today. I shouted from my kitchen window (because I was still in my jammies and I'm kind of non-confrontational) but they just looked up at me and went back to dragging my can over to their apartment. I noticed that their can was already full, but that's not my problem. I'll just have to toss my trash into someone else's can on Thursday.

Ordered my dress for the fall fundraiser. It's purty but I'm worried about my tattoos showing. I can wear black hosiery to hide the leg tats but the back is going to be a problem. They just don't make cocktail dresses that cover your back. The dress I ordered comes with a sheer black shawl, but I'm worried that it won't cover them well enough. Maybe the combination of the wrap and my long hair will work just fine. I'm going to look for an darker wrap or a nice shrug just in case.

A big shout out to my fellow Hufflepuff, Mary C, who found the Snitch and won our house 150 points in the first round of Quidditch!! Team Hufflepuff is in the lead for the house cup. Woo Hoo. And to that end, here's a little sneak peak for my swap recipient. She's in Ravenclaw and prefers the book colors, as do I, but dang it's hard to find bronze yarn.

Did you hear about that oversized load that jammed up traffic on the 101 today? They were moving a pre-fab house and it got stuck under the Hollywood Boulevard overpass. Did you see the driver? He had an Irish brogue and I just wanted to pat him on the back and offer him a Guinness. Poor thing. It's pretty funny, though.

Don't you hate it when you come across one of those unnaturally gorgeous boys who are young enough to be your son and make you feel like a dirty old woman for having impure thoughts? Yeah, me too.

That's all. I'm off to bed. Tomorrow will be an action-packed thrill ride from beginning to end, I'm sure, as I will be doing laundry and dyeing my hair.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Harry Potter Trivia Answers

To my regular readers:
I'm busier than a one-armed window washer, which I have seen and boy, was he busy. I'll talk to you later.

To my HSKS3 friends:
Here's my trivia and photos!

1. Who is the Hogwarts teacher that Voldermort performed the Avada Kedavra curse on in Deathly Hallows?
b. Charity Burbage

2. Who replaces the Muggles studies teacher in Deathly Hallows?
c. Alecto Carrow

3. When Harry meets Mr. Olivander for the first time, which wand law is introduced?
c. The wand chooses the wizard.

4. According to Mr. Ollivander, what is not necessary to take true possession of another wizard's wand?
a. to kill the owner

5. If you know anything about Harry Potter, you will know that Harry's Patronus is a stag. But what is his best friend Ron Weasley's Patronus?
d. Jack Russell Terrier

6. Now for the third member of the trio. What form does Hermione Granger's Patronus take?
a. Otter

7. What did Mrs. Wealey make to eat the first night that Harry arrived at Grimmauld Place?
a. Stew

8. In book 5, at the start of term feast, what is Ron eating when trying to talk to Nearly Headless Nick?
c. Roast potato

9. A half-giant called Rubeus Hagrid takes you to Diagon Alley for the first time. To get there, you go into the courtyard of a pub called the Leaky Cauldron. There, Hagrid taps a certain brick on the courtyard wall three times with his pink umbrella, revealing the entrance to Diagon Alley. As he decides which brick to tap, he mutters instructions to himself. What instructions does he mutter?
b. Three up, Two across

10. The first place you go in Diagon Alley is Gringotts bank, where you can withdraw money from your vault and Hagrid can withdraw a top-secret package from Vault No. 713 on Dumbledore’s orders. On the second set of doors leading into the bank you notice a poem written. These are the first two lines:
Enter, stranger, but take heed
Of what awaits the sin of greed,

What s the next line?
d. "For those who take, but do not earn

My photos are all in links because formatting was a nightmare and it's really late (or really early, depending on your perspective).

Rolanda Hooch
Argus Filch
Moaning Myrtle
Colin Creevy

Bring on the Snitch! Go Team Hufflepuff!

Monday, September 10, 2007

I rock! Oh, and here's some pictures I've been meaning to share with you.

No, really. I do. I got to work on time and kicked ass loading boxes into the storage room, making goody bags for two upcoming meetings, loading more stuff into the storage room, covering the front desk, making calls, ordering food for yet another meeting....Damn, I love a productive day at work. Too bad I came home and promptly fell asleep.

This is the lovely wave pattern that my hotties on the 101 have been working on.

I found this item in a catalog for executive gifts. Can anyone tell me what type of product this is?

It may be a long & soft noodle, but it's got a new lively core.

Get your mind out of the gutter--They're golf balls!!

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Strange Things Afoot

I slept in yesterday, as is my wont, only to have my sleep disturbed by many raucous shouts from the apartment next door followed by a shaking of the bed of magnitude 3.0 proportions. Yes, I have a new neighbor. Her name is Lori. She seems like a perfectly nice girl, 20-something, music lover (she's always coming home from Amoeba), friendly. She moved in about two weeks ago. Things have been pretty quiet. Occasionally, I'll overhear a snippet of telephone conversation if she's near the front window at the same time as me, but otherwise, quiet.

Then, yesterday happened. I'm assuming her gentlemen caller was watching sports because the shouts were things like "OH, NO!" "You Idiot" and "Go, go, gooooo!" I didn't mind that so much. It was afternoon and I should have been out of bed anyway. But the slamming against the wall was a little annoying. The walls, not in the best shape to begin with and paper thin, are riddled with cracked plaster, which flew into my hair with one particularly hard slam. Having never been in that apartment, I have always assumed (from previous tenants' behaviors) that the front room is a living room. What or who was slamming against the wall, I have no idea.

Things got quiet and I supposed they went out to enjoy the day. I moved to my own living room to knit for my Ravenclaw swap partner and watch a DVD set of the first season of "Alias Smith and Jones." (Those of you born in the 60's might remember that show) As I was knitting and trying to figure out what I did wrong, I heard a creepy male voice calling "Where are you, Lori?" "I know you're in there, Lori." Given that my name is Laurie, you can imagine how it freaked me out. I walked to the kitchen and looked out to see a man run across the backyard with something in his hand that could at first glance be construed as a knife. Yikes! I was still in my jammies, but I trotted downstairs to look out the front door and see what I could see.

I heard a woman squeal, but not in fear, and laughter ensued. Okay, so the new neighbor and her gentleman caller are playing a game. Whatever tickles your fancy. But then the slamming of the doors started. Doors in her apartment. Doors in the empty back apartment (did they break in?). The back gate. Car doors. My God, enough with the doors already. Then the banging into the walls again. The whole house shook with every hit, leaving me to ponder how it has stood for so many years in earthquake country. Nacho's tank was sloshing like a wave pool.

And on and on this pattern continued all day and all of the night. A quiet lull followed by a series of slamming doors, running feet, walls shaking and laughter. And I thought Survive W. Freedom was an interesting neighbor.

Friday, September 07, 2007

I am shameless

I wore make up today for the first time in a week or more. Well, not the full face--just mascara.

As I was getting into my car in front of my house, one of the mechanics from the police garage watched me---really watched me. I'm talking, leaned against the wall and eyed me up and down like he was on a deserted island and I was a giant pork chop. He was cute in a long-haired, swarthy way, so I smiled, lowered my lashes coyly, and giggled--yes, giggled like a school girl before getting into my car and driving off. I know!

Then, while stuck in traffic on the 101, I noticed that in place of the ill-fated grass seeding of a few months ago, they are now installing a concrete wave pattern along the hillside. I found myself staring at it, trying to figure out why they would go through the trouble of the whole grass seed thing only to hoe it up to put in the wave. (I tried to take pictures, but traffic started moving again) As I glanced back to the car in front of me to see if it had moved, I noticed that not one, not two, but FIVE of the men working on the hillside had stopped what they were doing and were watching me. I swear I'm not being conceited. I, too, suspected they were just watching traffic in general until one of them bent over so he could see me better. I gave a little wave and mouthed "hi" and they ALL said "Hi" back followed by several things in Spanish which I couldn't understand but I smiled in what I hope was a flirtatious manner and drove off.

I went downstairs to the Deli to get bagels for a meeting. While I was waiting, Antonio the cook asked me if I liked Plantanos. I said yes and he handed me a small plate of hot plantanos with a wink and a smile.

Seriously, what's going on today? I really don't think it's the mascara. What kind of pheromone am I giving off that is causing the menfolk to behave like this? And what's making me so damned flirty? Okay, I'm pretty flirty on a regular basis, but this is a bit much even for me.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Enough already!!

Seriously, how much can I take? The A/C in our offices is still not fixed. Today the excuse is a leaky compressor. They are supposed to work on it tonight when they can turn off what little air is blowing (not on our side of the building, clearly) and get 'er done. I have a headache and I'm so sleepy. I have so much to do, but it's impossible to feel productive with sweat rolling down into your cleavage. Current temperature in my office is 87 degrees. I'm leaving. I don't care what hasn't gotten done.

Oh, and now Blooey, my co-worker's Betta, is experiencing some fin damage. I took all my recently acquired knowledge of Betta health and helped her. Hopefully, he's on the road to recovery. He hasn't been the same since his neighbor, a lovely white Betta whose name was either Truitt, Michael, or Whitey depending on whom you asked, committed suicide by leaping out of the tank. Sarah apparently hadn't been told the "put a lid on it" rule. (Blooey used to go by names like Pablo and Prince, but Blooey seems to have stuck--on account of him being blue, of course. And the double o's are inspired by the bubbles he blows.)

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Ah to be the Winter Queen

I was smart this time. I stopped at CVS on my way home to pick up D batteries for my Coleman TV/radio/flashlight combo that I won at a product presentation from the fine folks at Warner Music Distribution. I also picked up several handheld, battery-operated fans. I was set and good thing, too, because the power was still out when I got home.

The only stations that came in clearly were Fox 11 and KCAL 9. No biggie. I watched Simpsons, Malcolm In The Middle, Bones--then I fell asleep. I woke up at 11:00pm when the lights finally came on. A rousing cheer was heard throughout the neighborhood. I turned the lights off and the fan on, and went back to sleep. This morning, I woke up with a blanket on. It actually felt--dare I say it--chilly in my room.

No such luck at work, however. Still no A/C so the boss is not coming in today. I left an angry message on the machine at the building management office, including a diatribe about the crappy cleaning crew they have hired who hasn't vacuumed our carpets in two months and the fact that the ladies room of horrors was filthy this morning. I'm spitting mad and crazy from the heat. They will do well to approach with caution.

One of the books I read over the weekend was about faeries and the struggle between the Winter Queen and the Summer King. All descriptions of the Winter Queen were filled with references to snow and ice and frostbite and it almost--not quite, but almost--made me feel cooler. sigh

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

It's a conspiracy!

As I've mentioned before and many of you may remember from last summer, I have no A/C in my humble abode. With all three fans blowing it was still 97 degrees in my apartment. My only course of action was to sit, scantily clad, in front of a window with the fan blowing and moving as little as possible. This is exactly what I did for two days this weekend. I reread the first two books in a series and then read the third, along with a fourth book by a different author. Round about 5:30 or so, the power went out. "It was bound to happen," I thought. Unconcerned, I headed over to Jack In the Box for dinner. I came back and finished the fourth book by the dying daylight and then by flashlight.

It was 8:00pm. Too hot move. Too hot to sleep. Not a breeze stirring anywhere. I lay quietly until nature's call made me head to the bathroom. While I was up, I decided to go the the kitchen and get a big bowl of ice. I was breaking up the ice when something tickled my foot. My hair has been sticking to me and tickling all week, so I absently kicked my foot thinking it to be a strand of hair. I glanced down, flashlight in hand, to see a giant (okay--about 2 inches) "water bug*" on my foot. I screamed. I kicked. I screamed some more. "You get away from me," I told it. I ran to the bathroom, grabbed the can of Black Flag, and ran back in time to catch him trying to disappear into the living room. I sprayed his little buggy ass into oblivion, but the heebies and subsequent jeebies were too much. Has anyone seen Constantine? You know that scene where Keanu and Rachel are downtown and the street lights are all off, then Keanu raises a torch and you see that they are surrounded by demons in the darkness? Yeah, that's what I kept imagining would happen when I turned off the flashlight, only of course with cockroaches, not demons.

I hurriedly threw a change of clothes, my toothbrush, hairbrush, and mascara into a bag, tossed on a pair of shorts, a tank top and my Keds, and ran to the car, calling Tami on the way to tell her I was on my way to Pasadena. Tami's house was not much cooler, but at least the lights worked and there were no creepy things to crawl on my feet. I didn't sleep much, but I slept more than I would have at home.

I was actually looking forward to work today. "Ah, air conditioning and lots of it," I thought. Um, no. That was not meant to be. There was a power outage over in these parts too and the A/C did not kick back on when the power did. It's 85 in my office. I'm beginning to think Alaska would be lovely.

*It should be noted that I do not normally have this type of house guest. The FJ couple downstairs moved out and recently there were handymen in there tearing up the carpet and plumbing, most likely causing the migration of the aforementioned critter.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Nacho eats

As I passed his tank on my way to the loo, Nacho swam along with me. I stopped and my heart skipped. Could it be so easy? Was he feeling better already? Why, his tail even looked somewhat--does fluffier apply to a fish? He was swimming, not floating, and I saw that as a good sign. I cautiously dropped a few pellets in the water and watched. HE ATE THEM!! And there is just the slightest trace of a bubble nest in the corner. Phew! I am still heading out to a more reputable fish store to pick up some things to balance the water and see what they think I should do. But still, I can't deny that his current level of activity is putting me in a good mood.

I'm in love with a fish. Lord help me.