Phoning it in

Oh, I'm in allergy hell and dalking like dis wif my node all stuffed up. My ambition (what little I have) left with my ability to breathe through my nose. I lamented this to The Roy who had this to say:
me: my allergies! I can't breathe and I can't think.

I have so much to do 'cause the boss is back tomorrow but I just can't concentrate
Roy: FocusYou can do thisCheck back with me at 2:54With a report

Then, because, you know, I'm like that, we continued to chat and Roy related this gem:
Roy: So man

I get this yesterday:

"Hi Ladies,
Last meeting, I mentioned Douglas Adams' book, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as a possible read. I was surprised how that people hadn't read it. Since I can't be at this meeting I thought I would make my suggestion this way.
FYI: My only Wednesday evening conflict these days is the third Wednesday every once in a while.

Barb"

11:54 AM Sent out to a list of people, including Wendy Millroy (at Roy's actual email addy)

So I replied:

"Hello Barbara,
I think you've entered Wendy's email address incorrectly, as I'm not Wendy.

Also, fun reading choice. I hope you enjoy it. I never read the whole series, just the first book, but here's a tip: last week I found at Borders (I don't know if it was regional, or if you even have the Borders chain out wherever you live) the whole five book set on sale for $2.99! I'd call your local store before making the trip though.
-Roy"

11:56 AM me: You're so sweet and helpful.

Roy: Know what I heard back?

NOTHING.

me: and Kudos to Barb for writing "once in a while" correctly.

Roy: NOTHING.

AND THEY'RE STILL SENDING OUT GROUP EMAILS

11:57 AM how do people screw that up?

11:58 AM me: You could assume Wendy's personality and write back to all with things like "I can't believe I got sucked into this group. You're all a bunch of vapid cows with no redeeming qualities whatsoever."

Then, they'll be all, "Boy, what's gotten into Wendy lately?"

11:59 AM Roy: ha ha I thought of doing that... reading along and coming up with weird insights to the book

Anyway, I hope Wendy knows it's at her house this Saturday at 8

12:00 PM me: Oh, that would suck if they all showed up and Wendy is in her robe with hair remover cream on her upper lip and her hair in rollers.

12:01 PM Roy: ha ha for real!

If I could wish one thing for everyone in the world, I wish that you all had a nephew (or brother or cousin or some other kind of relative) like The Roy. He's more than my nephew; he's one of my best friends. And you know what? His little words of motivation gave me the push to actually get stuff done. I had a productive afternoon. Thanks, Roy.