I woke up, looked at my alarm, and promptly decided that I needed more sleep. Twenty minutes later I decided that I needed a valid driver's license more, so I hauled my cookies out of bed, got pretty, and drove my illegal self over to the DMV where I did NOT have an appointment. That's me, folks, living dangerously.
While applying mascara, my overly sensitive left eye began tearing. I dropped some eye stuff in there and finished the beautification process. Then, I was gathering materials for a quick knit project and could not for the life of me read the size printed on the set of DPNs I picked up. I needed size 6. I think they're 7's. No matter how far away I held them, I couldn't really see it. I know, I know--Get thee to the optometrist, woman!
The DMV was moving at a good pace. I didn't have to wait that long at all, maybe 30 minutes to be seen, then wham-bam-$28, ma'am. The woman processing my application told me to "step to the next window to read the eye chart." Uh-oh. I'm screwed now. Fortunately, there was a girl at that window and I had to stand back a bit so as not to crowd her. I read all the lines perfectly and the woman told me, "Oh, your vision's fine if you can read it from back there." Little did she know it's the up close that gets me in trouble. Then, she said the most wonderful thing she could say--"Just step over to the Camera line and get your picture." [a chorus of angels sang]
My current license picture is hideous. Yeah, I know, everyone's license picture is hideous. But seriously, mine looks like a mug shot, like I've been arrested for drunk & disorderly conduct. I'm talking Nick Nolte's mug shot looks better than my license photo. I hate having to show it the officer who just pulled me over (not that I get pulled over a lot, yo; just saying) because while I'm trying to be all cute and flirty, he's holding proof positive that I have THOSE days and it distracts him from my ample assets. (God help me if I ever get pulled over by a woman) And today? I look damn good, if I do say so myself. I even remembered to apply lip gloss. Now, I haven't seen the new photo so maybe she caught me blinking, but it's got to be better than the current one. Doesn't it?
Now, I only have to deal with my past due registration, which is being held up on account of me being drastically poor and needing the smog check this year. I should have it done by January. And they don't start impounding your car until you're six months overdue anyway.
While applying mascara, my overly sensitive left eye began tearing. I dropped some eye stuff in there and finished the beautification process. Then, I was gathering materials for a quick knit project and could not for the life of me read the size printed on the set of DPNs I picked up. I needed size 6. I think they're 7's. No matter how far away I held them, I couldn't really see it. I know, I know--Get thee to the optometrist, woman!
The DMV was moving at a good pace. I didn't have to wait that long at all, maybe 30 minutes to be seen, then wham-bam-$28, ma'am. The woman processing my application told me to "step to the next window to read the eye chart." Uh-oh. I'm screwed now. Fortunately, there was a girl at that window and I had to stand back a bit so as not to crowd her. I read all the lines perfectly and the woman told me, "Oh, your vision's fine if you can read it from back there." Little did she know it's the up close that gets me in trouble. Then, she said the most wonderful thing she could say--"Just step over to the Camera line and get your picture." [a chorus of angels sang]
My current license picture is hideous. Yeah, I know, everyone's license picture is hideous. But seriously, mine looks like a mug shot, like I've been arrested for drunk & disorderly conduct. I'm talking Nick Nolte's mug shot looks better than my license photo. I hate having to show it the officer who just pulled me over (not that I get pulled over a lot, yo; just saying) because while I'm trying to be all cute and flirty, he's holding proof positive that I have THOSE days and it distracts him from my ample assets. (God help me if I ever get pulled over by a woman) And today? I look damn good, if I do say so myself. I even remembered to apply lip gloss. Now, I haven't seen the new photo so maybe she caught me blinking, but it's got to be better than the current one. Doesn't it?
Now, I only have to deal with my past due registration, which is being held up on account of me being drastically poor and needing the smog check this year. I should have it done by January. And they don't start impounding your car until you're six months overdue anyway.
1 comment:
Oh, I feel your pain. I find myself doing the "closer/farther" thing with small print... Age. It's a beeyatch.
Well, good thing your sense of humor is intact!
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