Setting myself up for failure

I promised you witty and I'm afraid I won't live up to your expectations, but here goes:

I still have not done one thing that has piled up on my desk. So far today, the only work related things I've done are:

1. made a time schedule for next week's presentation and emailed it to appropriate parties (time lapsed: 5 minutes)
2. secured breakfast for said presentation. (time: 3.5 seconds)
3. made donation to charity for Mr. Man (time: 10 minutes ish)
4. gathered various faxes and paper clipped or stapled them, then set them aside for future use (time: 30 minutes)
5. answered questions from the field about a project due today (time: 1 hour)
6. calculated payroll for all my department people (time: 5 minutes)

So, that's not quite 2 hours of work.

Things I've done today that are NOT work related:

1. walked to Duke's for a ham and cheese omelet, which was actually a cheese omelet with grilled deli slices on the side (but the waiter is beautiful) (Time lapsed: 20 minutes)
2. drank some coffee and shot the shit with Russell until Howard (attention span of a newt) came in and interrupted our witty repartee. (time: 45 minutes)
3. emailed my friends from non-work email account (time: all day long)
4. laughed with boys in Classical store and insisted they play "The Vienna Boys Choir Goes Pop" so that I could hear prepubescent boys sing Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters" and The Bangles' "Eternal Flame". It was disappointing, but the visual image of exploding Viennese youth was worth it. (time: @1 hour)
5. went to video store to pick out rentals for weekend (time: 40 minutes because I was following the cutest little French boy around to listen to him speak...restraining order pending)
6. shopped for luggage for my upcoming vacation because I don't want to look like poor relations. (time: 1 hour, 20 minutes)
7. ran to liquor store for Diet Coke and Corn Nuts (time: 10 minutes)
8. flirted with redneck boy buying 2 twelve packs of Heineken (time: 1 minute..I work fast)
9. Sent DVD of the 117th Annual Tournament of Roses parade to my mother, who was supposed to be here to see it in person (time: 5 minutes)
10. Read other blogs and commented (because it's nice and people like comments--hint hint) (time: 30 minutes or more)

That's over 9 hours of goofing off to 2 hours of work. If you subract goofing off pay from actual work pay, I owe the company $112. So, I am going to clock out now and stay late to finish up some things. Because I'm like that.