Saturday, August 22, 2009

I wrote this for my sister, but you can read it, too.

Hey Katie Lady,
I wanted to share a funny story with you. I am becoming our mother.
As you may recall, one of my neighbors keeps using my trash can. It pisses me off because I don't accumulate much trash, but every two weeks when the bag is full and I attempt to take it out, my can is full already with someone else's crap. Now, I could be a jerk and use another trash can, but two wrongs don't make it right (or something like that). So, I was lying in bed trying to sleep Wednesday night (or Thursday Morn as it was 3am) when I heard someone rolling a trash can out to the curb. "Who's taking out their trash at this hour?" I thought. Followed by, "Rats! I forgot to take out my trash!" So, I peeked out the window to see who it was and it was the chick downstairs who ripped up the carpet when she moved in. She had had a party over the weekend and I guess she had a lot of trash because she was rolling out not one, not two, but three trash cans. Crimoney! Someone needs to learn about recycling. I saw her gathering and there weren't more than 10 people. Anyway, I was so mad at her. I thought, "I'll fix her little red wagon," and then I giggled because it's such a Mom thing to say.

Anyway, yesterday when I got home from my dentist appointment all the trash cans were still sitting on the curb (which is the other thing that irks me--she uses my can but never brings it back from the curb so I get in trouble with the Frau). I grabbed my can and pulled it up to my front porch. Then I went upstairs, grabbed the can of white paint I had in the cupboard, some Q-tips, a tube of moist towelettes, a Wite-out pen, and my bags of trash that didn't get out. Using Q-tips, I painted my apartment number in thick white paint about 4 inches high on the top and both sides of the can, then added "only" for good measure. Then, with the Wite-out pen, I wrote "Unless you live at [my apt #], please stop using this trash can!!" I used two exclamation points because everyone knows you mean business when you use two.

When I finished, I wiped up the drips on the sides, surveyed my handiwork and declared myself satisfied. I may have even added a little nod of my head, Little Rascals style. This morning while I was filling the water dispenser, I looked outside to see my trash can, white numbers gleaming in the sun, and I had to laugh at myself. I think you can probably see them from the police helicopters, which is kind of a civil service if the police are hunting a suspect and need to tell the ground units where they are.

In other news, I have a pretty new crown and it doesn't hurt anymore, although I now have cramps to pick up the slack.

The towelettes were to clean off the top of the can before painting.

1 comment:

MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

what, no pictures?! At least of the trashcan, if not the crown!