Like a dinosaur, only smaller and less toothsome.

I have been remiss in my updates but then I really had nothing to say and didn't want to post for the sake of posting--like I'm doing now. No, really, I kind of have something to say; I'm just not sure I can phrase it properly.

As I've mentioned before, I live with clutter. My apartment is cluttered and now, thanks to a lack of storage space, my office is cluttered. My desk is cluttered, too, with today's "to do" items and projects I haven't completed from yesterday, last week (or even later). It's true what they say--cluttered space, cluttered mind. I'm just not sure which came first. Anyway, the clutter? Not very conducive to productivity and I really need to be, well, not necessarily more productive but have a better quality of productivity. So, it would seem obvious that Step One would be to unclutter my mind, right? How?

I'm not particularly "new agey" as it were, but I believe in positive thinking and karma, and I try to be nice to people so that people are nice to me. I've noticed, though, that the folks I've met who meditate, do yoga, and practice "being present" are generally happier, calmer and tend to light up a room. That may be a very broad description and it could be just the folks I know, but I want to be happier, calmer and able to light up a room, too. Meditation--I have found that when I take the time in the morning to clear my head and visualize how I want the day to proceed, it usually goes pretty good, if not exactly how I imagined; at least it doesn't suck. Yoga--Well, I'm not very bendy in my current state, but I give it a try. I'll get there eventually. Be Present--Okay, not this is the one that I just couldn't wrap my head around. What the hell is being present? I'm here, aren't I? Isn't that enough? Well, no.

So I did some research and read a lot of blogs and web articles and I think I get it now, or at least enough to practice it. And really, it's so simple--Live in the moment. Don't relive the past (you can't change it), don't worry about the future (it won't help) and just focus on what you're doing right here, right now, the only moment of time that you can actually do something about. And that's what I've been trying to do, which is not to say I don't think about the past or plan for the future. It's just that, I have been known to relive past events, mistakes and conversations over and over in my head, remembering how much it hurt, what I did wrong and how I could have made it better or less embarrassing. And to what end? I can't change what happened. I can only make sure I don't do it again and move on. As far as the future, I can say "when I _____, I'll ______" until the cows come home, but I may never be _____ or do _____ so I should enjoy now.

I bought this bracelet from Energy Muse to help me keep this goal in mind, and printed out this page to keep handy. It really is working. Recently, I went to do inventory and found that other people had moved all the things I'm responsible for, mislabeled boxes, and generally made a mess of things. I was so angry. I fumed for about five minutes. And then, I took a deep breath, realized they had the best intentions in mind, and moved on to the task at hand. Ordinarily, I'd have fumed all the way back to the office or thrown my hands in the air saying, "I can't do this." This time, I just focused on what I was doing and stopped blaming the others (I was still a little angry back at the office, but I let it go). And this past weekend, I attended two parties which is like two more than I normally attend on any given weekend. One of them was at my boss's house. Instead of worrying if I was dressed appropriately or being concerned with how I acted or what I said, I just took each moment as they came, really listened to people when they talked, and enjoyed myself.

I'm not entirely "in the moment" all the time. I still have a lot of work to do before that happens. But I can see the benefits and that makes me want to work at it more.

So, that's what I've been doing.