The last item I "had to have" was a rollerball pen that used fountain pen ink. It came with a supply of great colored inks. It sucked like a Dyson vacuum. I tried to like it, but it just wouldn't write and I had to admit defeat. Fortunately, I have enough fountain pens (Obsessed with a capital O) to use the great colored inks.
So, cute and shiny little cordless mouse, with a neato techno-something tab...It was just too cool to pass up. And little? My cell phone is just slightly larger than this baby. Perfect for my over-crowded desk.
For the boss, I bought a cordless keyboard and mouse package. It's really great and has all these shortcut buttons for opening internet, email, Word, Excel, Powerpoint, buttons for "undo" and "redo", buttons to close a page or go back to the previous page, buttons to print, save, cure the common cold, etc. It's way to advanced for that two-fingered typer, but it's all they had.
This morning, I came to work all excited about installing the cuteness. I hooked up the boss's set first, then moved on to mine. Here are the things that sucked about it:
- The magic waves or whatever that make the cordless things work didn't reach far enough for me to use the mouse with my right hand. While I eventually figured out that the cord included was to extend the wave area, it didn't help.
- The mouse wouldn't work on my white blotter.
- It was incredibly slow.
- It was clearly possessed by some evil lifeforce and needed to be destroyed.
Not to worry. I still had the boss's old cordless mouse, which he hasn't managed to destroy but did manage to get yellow highlighter marks all over. How does one do that? So I hooked that up, and it sucked just as much as the cute one. I finally threw up my hands in defeat and reinstalled my trusty corded mouse, and life is once again worth living.
Except I have to call Slutty McWhore IV and I'm not looking forward to that. Knots in tummy. Feelings of inadequacy. I think I'll text instead.