Monday, March 27, 2006

Warning: I'm menstruating

I feel like I should be wearing a sign around my neck to warn people. Just a little hint, like "Think before you approach this woman. Consequences could be fatal". You see, I have no patience today for helplessness, ignorance, misdirected anger, indecision at a yellow light, maintenance men staring at my boobs, and so much more. If it weren't Monday and if I didn't have a ton to do, I would have stayed home. Oprah had that number one killer episode and I really could have worked out some of this rage by cleaning my apartment. Instead, I'm stuck here with Crankypants barking at me because the phone number he had was wrong (yes, that's right Mr. Man, I purposely changed the number to piss you off). I feel a sick day coming on...

And because I'm not irritated enough, the gnomes or whatever that live in my ceiling have now disconnected the alcove light fixture too. Now I have no light for my staircase. I guess it's time to call Frau Fix-it-herself (aka my landlady). I hate when she comes into my apartment. She smells like old lady and leaves this lingering powdery, flowery fragrance that gives me asthma attacks. And she's nosey. Seriously nosey. She once insisted I was hiding a second bathroom in my closet and would not leave until I opened the closet door to show her, at which point she poked around in my clothes to "make sure I'm not lying". I've taken to locking my bedroom door when she has to come in and I'm not home.

Oh, and speaking of irritating, everywhere I went yesterday I was detoured due to filming. Freakin' Hollywood! Can't they film in Boise for a while? It's not bad enough that every street downtown is One Way (okay, not EVERY street), but do they have to block off the lane I need to be in forcing me to go blocks out of my way, when I really only know, like, two ways in and out of the downtown area. Don't do that to me, people. Although, I did get to see some wildly tacky bridesmaids dresses at some shotgun wedding chapel on Broadway ("Here comes the bride, big, fat and wide")

I'm going home to down some mood elevators...or wine...or whiskey, since it's already open.

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