Monday, March 20, 2006

Weekend update: Or Why are all these cops in front of my house?

Good Monday to all! The boss left at Noon (and not a minute too soon, as far as I'm concerned), so I've been enjoying positive humor today.

Saturday: I had been talking to my mother on the phone and I walked outside to see every police officer in Los Angeles standing across the street. ( I may be exaggerating) My street was blocked off at both ends. How am I supposed to get out??? I sweetly (yes, I can be sweet sometimes) asked the nearest officer, and it turns out they were turned out for the Anti-war protest on Hollywood Boulevard. I live six blocks from Hollywood and Vine, so why was my street blocked? Needless to say I was irritated. Fortunately, one of my neighbors moved a barrier so we could get out on the lower end of the street.

Safely on the road with my indecisive "check engine" light, I headed to Pasadena to get Tami and shop for craft supplies. Michaels, Unwind, Jo Ann fabrics...we hit 'em all. Suddenly, I was inspired. A hat, a blanket, a handbag, a tank top...the projects came at me faster than I could say "but do I have a needle for that?" My spring break will be filled with yarn, and needles and Tina, I'll finally be able to fix your green necklace. Yeah! All that driving made me tired, though, so I napped. Then I was wide awake at 4am; and let me tell you, without cable, TV sucks at that hour. I slept fitfully before finally giving up and getting in the shower. On my way to the shower, the cool yarn I got on sale at Unwind was taunting me, so I sat down and knitted a gauge swatch. Then, my attention was drawn to a sock pattern on the coffee table. I looked to see if I had the right needles for that, and my attention was drawn to the measuring tape I thought I had lost but there it was with my needles. And then my attention....can you say ADD? Seriously, I could not focus on one thing for more than five minutes. What is wrong with me?

Sunday: It's Laundry Day! (cue Jason Mraz) My laundromat is on Santa Monica Blvd, and there are always a bevy of boy hookers out front. Yesterday was no exception. You know that scene from Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo where he says "Hi I'm Deuce Big..est lady I've ever seen!!" [I DID NOT see that movie, but that scene was in the commercial]? Well, she was at 7-11 wearing a fetching strapless number (why). I'd have taken her picture but those boy ho's stick together and they scare me. Anywho, she wasn't the only freak. I saw a woman eating this. (see photo) You can't really tell, but that's a can of frozen juice concentrate--Cranberry. Yep, she was just eating it like it was an Italian Ice or something. Now I've been known to eat some strange food combinations (someday I'll tell you all about Lazy Man's Pie), but I keep it in the privacy of my own kitchen. I don't flaunt the Ewww factor.

Someone please explain the masked wrestlers to me. That's what was on TV and I just don't get it. Although, they unmasked the wrestler and he was HOT, and tattooed--just the way I like 'em. (but blond, so you can keep him)

Two more things before I go:
1) how sweet are these Chucks? Tami hates them , of course, which made me buy them. They were only $20!! You can't tell, but they are velour, with magenta satin lining. They come in Teal with lime green accents too. Hurry to the Famous Shoe warehouse on Glendale Avenue! (like my IKEA rug? I'm walking on water)

2) look at this sign. Doesn't this imply that the last piece is being used by more than one person? How many people use it before the last one? How is the last person determined? hmmm...


miss kendra said...

i hope to never be the last person to use the last piece of toilet paper.


Laurie Ann said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Laurie Ann said...

[I can't spell]
The last person today didn't read the sign. There was no paper when I went in an hour ago.

scum said...

Tell you what... I'd ALWAYS be the person after the last person.

I've been trying to teach my wife to check for rolls before sitting since we got married.