Pity the sober. They wake up in the morning knowing that's the best they're going to feel all day.
Here's to a wet night and a dry morning.
And the jokes:
Paddy was driving down the street desperately looking for a parking space. Looking up to Heaven he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking space, I'll go to mass every Sunday and give up me whiskey". Miraculously, a space opened up. Paddy looked Heavenward again and said, "Nevermind, Lord. I found one".
An Irishman takes a seat at a bar in New York City and orders a shot of Jameson. A fellow patron a few stools down gives him a hard look and says, "You look familiar, sir. Tell me, are you from Donegal?" "Why, yessir. I AM from Donegal". The fellow moved a stool closer and said, "I swear I've seen ye before. What school did ye attend?" The first man said, "Why Saint Mary's, of course." The second man exclaims, "You don't say. I went to Saint Mary's. Tell me, did you ever date one of the McGinty sisters?" The first man, looking astonished, said, "I DID, friend. I dated Colleen McGinty". At this point, one of the bartenders remarks to the veteran barman, "that's pretty amazing. Two men from Ireland meeting up here in New York." The old barman looks up and says, "Not really. The Murphy twins are drunk again."
An Irish priest gets pulled over for speeding. The police man, as he nears the open window, smells alcohol and notices an empty wine bottle in the passenger seat. The officer asks, "Father, have you been drinking?" The priest replies, "Just water." The officer then says, "Then why do I smell wine, Father?" The priest looks at the bottle and exclaims, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
And my favorite, although I'm the only one who likes it: What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture! (hahahahahaha)
Oh, I could go on all day, but I'll leave you with a photo instead.
Not everyone can pull off a hat like this.