Heartburn, Nausea, Indigestion--Dear Pepto-Bismol: Everyone knows what your product does. No one needs to see people pinching their ass to keep from pooping--especially a very scary Paul Bunyon or giant Amazon woman. I cannot change channels fast enough. And why didn't the ballerina's mention diarrhea? Don't pink ballerina's get the runs?
Talking diseases--Mucus is not cute. Nail infections are not cute. Please stop trying to make them cute.
Tom Tom--Annoying Annoying.
The Grillmaster--El Pollo Loco's suave Latin stud disturbs me for some reason. I think he reminds me of Roberto Lopez, a self-described Latin stud I used to work with.
Head On--No, not the original ones in which they kept repeating the tag line. I'm talking about the new ones in which some fan of the product interrupts the commercial to say how much they hate the commercial but love the product. The woman with the crazy eyes is scary hideous. Lady, brush your hair!! (this is for you, Tower folk) She looks like Marc Arata's sister.
Earthlink couples--Aren't they cute, with all their zipping and yapping? (puke) When the wife with the stopwatch says "Should have bought 60 seconds," I want her husband to reply, "Well maybe if you shut yer yap..."
Country Crock--Speaking of couples that make me vomit, can we ditch this ad campaign? They have been using this headless couple for over ten years. At least they've finally given them a child--who has a head. To think it all started with James Garner and Mariette Hartley.
[I stand corrected. James Garner and Mariette Hartley hawked Polaroid. Thanks to Ellen Bloom, the maven of all things TV, for setting me straight. For the record, I love James Garner...but I still hate the Country Crock ads.]
Lavalife--Sure, hot women are staying home on the weekends making calls and leaving messages to hook up. And what the hell is "coffee dinner"?
Closet World--They have tried in vain to upgrade these commercials, but until they get rid of that stupid ass dancing robot thing I will hate them. Hate, hate, hate.
I'm sure there are more, but I'm sleepy. I invite you to share your most hated commercials.