Friday, August 31, 2007

Fish Watch 2007

Today is payday and so I ran to Petco after work to get supplies for "Operation: Heal Nacho." I had many suggestions in my head as I went. pH levels? got a tester. Water too cold? got a thermometer. Lonely? no, I didn't get him a friend, but only because he's in a tank, not a bowl, and it doesn't lend itself to division (or multiplication for that matter--hee hee). And if I put his new friend in a smaller bowl, he'd have inferiority issues and that's not fair. I promptly tested the water in his tank. It's very warm, high pH, high ammonia--by God, I'm killing him.

I did start the medicine regimen, even though I said I didn't want to, and he seems a little livelier, although still not my usual Nacho Libre. He's getting a full-on water change this weekend. Let's hope it helps.

Thanks for the good thoughts for my poor baby.

Thursday, August 30, 2007


Nacho has been lethargic for two days now. I did a partial water change, as recommended on one of the many "Care for Betta" sites and it didn't perk him up any. I don't see any fin damage or fuzz, so I don't want to medicate his water. Help me! He's just floating (but alive) near the top. Occasionally, he'll swim to the bottom and then up to the top of the other side of the tank. What could it be? He hasn't eaten in two days. He's just not my sweet Nacho of two weeks ago. I'm doing a full-on water change this weekend.

If anyone out there has any sage Betta advice, I'd love to hear it. Poor Nacho.

[edit] I did some more research and one site suggested shining a flashlight in the tank to more closely inspect his fins and sure enough, they don't look as pretty. She, the Betta expert, also lives in LA and said our PH tends to run high and that's most likely the problem. I'm hurting him!! So, I am heading to Petco after work for a PH tester and a tank thermometer and everything else I can possibly get to bring my darling Nacho back to health. Oh, and did you know fish can get depressed? I'm thinking of getting a figurine of Freud to place in the tank just in case.

I like Harry Potter. I wear socks. Hmmm...

So, you know, I'm not much of a joiner, but something made me--no, compelled me to join the Hogwarts Sock/Scarf Knit Swap 3 (say that three times fast) or HSKS3 for short. I figured it would inspire me to actually finish a pair of socks, and I like meeting people and getting packages. I have not heard from my prefect, or anyone else for that matter, about who my swap mates are, but I don't want to lose points for my house--Hufflepuff--so I'm including in this post:

the swap logomy house logo

and my answers to the questionnaire.
1. What Hogwarts house have you been sorted into? Hufflepuff
2. List your favorite double-point needle brands, including size and length. Or would you prefer circulars? I really like the Knit Picks needles, any sock size and no longer than 6" please; or the Bryson flexible needles. I tend to be a tight knitter and my bamboo needles are all getting warped.
3. Would you like to try a new brand needle? If so, which brand? Size? Length? I'm so easy to please. Anything would be great.
4. If you are a RAVENCLAW, do you prefer the colors in the film or the book? Do you have a strong preference? does not apply
5. Do you have any allergies? Yarn allergies? Just angora and camel, but they're not exactly sock yarns.
6. If you are swapping scarves - what is your desired length for the pattern? This will help your partner find the pattern that is just right for you and buy yarn accordingly. Socks for me.
Please don't take points away from Hufflepuff because the logo is not in my sidebar. My blog template was custom-made and I don't know how to add anything without ruining it. (and my designer is far too busy for me to burden with the task)

I am really hoping to hear from someone soon so I can go shopping this weekend and get started on the kit.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Hollywood, 1807

Day two of No Hot Water. I boiled water in a large stock pot and transferred it into several more manageable vessels to take to the bathroom where I pretended it was the 1800's and this method of bathing was normal. My hair is kind of unruly today. I don't think I got it rinsed clean, but I had to wash it today--it had been too long already. All I can say is, I'm so glad I was born and raised in the 20th century.

I called my slumlord and Frau Bullshite claimed to have not received my frantic plea yesterday.
Her initial reaction when I told her I didn't have hot water? "Well that's between you and the Gas Company." Excuse me??? I patiently explained that I have paid my gas bill and it's not the heating of said water that is the's the existence of the water in the pipes that thwarts my attempts at hygiene. She explained, as if I were an idiot, how to go to the hot water heater and turn the hot water back on. Here's an example: "Open the door--you have to pull the latch up first--and then at the top right--if you're facing it, it will be above the heater...on the right--there's a lever--you know, a like a handle?--and you want to put it in the on position..." Like I don't know what freakin' lever is??? Oh, I guess they only call it a lever in Germany. Here in America we call them Schloppendoodles. Haven't you heard of that soap? Schloppendoodle 2000? Anywho, in a round about way, she admitted that the "professionals" she hired were doing work on the apartment in the back and "must have turned off the wrong hot water." Gee, ya think they would have noticed when hot water came pouring out at them from the other apartment's faucet? She said she'd be there today around 5:00 and turn it back on for me. I hope so because I do so love a hot shower.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

No. Hot. Water.

Can you imagine the mood I'm in today?

Frau had better call me back and it had better be fixed by the time I get home tonight or I'm going to paint that mural of dwarfs in compromising positions on the living room wall.

[edit] It's 3:24pm and still no call back from Frau Freezinmytitsoff. She was there yesterday (at the homestead) with some workers so I'm wondering if they were working on something and neglected to turn my water back on. It's just the hot water, and it's not like the water just doesn't get hot...there isn't any water coming out of the faucet at all. I fully expect to see Bugs Bunny in the shower saying, "Gurgle, Gurgle. Why don't ya pay yer water bill."
I did a cold bird bath, put my hair in a ponytail and boiled some water to do the dishes. Then I left for work and completely forgot to take my lunch even though I had scribbled "LUNCH" on my hand in bright red Sharpie.

And you know, I wasn't moody enough with the whole time o' the month and all. Came to work to find a King Sized Snickers on my desk. No one has owned up to it yet, but I sure appreciated the chocolate.

Monday, August 27, 2007

I'm Better

I feel better now, having spent two days curled into a ball of stomach cramping hell, during which I:
  • read two books in about 14 hours
  • learned how to knit Entrelac
  • started the sweater sampler from Jacqueline Fee's Sweater Workshop book (and got as far as the color change in the 2x2 ribbing) (okay, I cheated by not doing 10 rounds of 1x1 ribbing because I already know how to do that)
  • vomited
  • feed Nacho Libre
  • slept intermittently on the sofa before finally crawling into bed
  • actually watched The Cat In The Hat movie (because I was too weak to find the remote)
  • went to Big Lots for food (looked worse than homeless woman outside--asked her for change)
  • finally watched Deadwood: Season Three, Disc One
  • Screamed at Netflix because I didn't have any more discs because they sent me the wrong thing again and Disc One only has two episodes on it and a girl needs her some Timothy Olyphant when she's sick (and even when she's not)
  • stared at fish trying to decide if I'm overfeeding him. Decided he looked a little pudgy. cut back on the food.
  • cursed Frau Pita for hiring men to come out on Sunday to staple screening material to all the eaves to keep the pigeons away and then subsequently powerwash the pigeon poop. Sure it was 12:30pm, but I was still sleeping.
  • cried a little because I'm poor and I really wanted to buy the third book in the series (of the two I read) but I can't afford that and food until payday.
  • got my period
  • cried a little more because I want to go on a train trip with my Tower friends but I'm too poor. [edit] now I'm crying because a meeting got rescheduled for that day so I couldn't go even if I borrowed the money. Waahhhhh!
  • wiped tears and ate toast. Found mold on non-toasted bread. Decided the mold was penicillin and could be helpful, but still tossed the rest of the loaf.

I am surprisingly well-rested today. I got up before the alarm and only hit snooze once. I straightened my hairs and put some make-up on. AND I actually left the house 10 minutes earlier than is necessary and got to work in plenty of time. See? I'm not just better, I Gooood.

Friday, August 24, 2007


I'm ill. I have what my mother always called "stomach virus" when she wrote notes for school. I also have a fever and my eyes are burning and goopy. I actually went to work (because it's suspicious to call in sick on a Friday) but I was useless and I finally gave up the fight before I fell asleep at my desk. The HR manager told me, "You look like shit." I came home and promptly curled up in bed. It felt so good. Now I'm a little hungry. I'd better root around in the kitchen and see what I can't conjure up--or keep down for that matter.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Uncalled for

This morning, at 9:40am to be exact, I was on my way to Starbucks for a directors' meeting. I was stuck at a light at Union Avenue and 8th Street, when I this woman walked in front of my car tugging at her dress. If she hadn't tugged, I wouldn't have looked. But look I did, and what did I see? Oh, everything God gave her, that's what I saw. Yes, the "dress" was more like a shirt and tug as hard as she did, it did not cover her very large, cellulite-infested ass, nor her well-trimmed Hooha. At some point, she just stopped tugging and let it all hang out, much to the delight of the man behind me in the big red truck that nearly rammed my car. The red light lasted unusually long, so I had ample opportunity to view Commando Candy and her Carnal Treasure.

In other news, the freakshow that is our Ladies Room continues. Yesterday, I went pee before I got in the car to come home and while I was in my stall I heard the distinct sound of a cell phone camera with this recorded voice saying, "Say Cheese." I looked all around to make sure some Pervy McPerverson wasn't taking photos of me under or over the stall. Then, I realized it was another woman in the stall across from mine. Four or five times I heard, "Say Cheese." So, I have to ask the obvious--What the hell was she photographing? And, really, I don't think I want to know.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

What do you do when you're hot and bored?

Get ice cream? Check.
Browse in an air conditioned store? Check.
Buy a pet? What???

I really meant to do laundry today. I mean, I'm one pair of panties away from going commando. But it's sooooo hot and the laundromat is bad on Saturdays. I'll go tomorrow. Yeah, that's right. Sorry, Denise. I won't be going to Fiber Fest after all. So, after a Popsicle from 7-11 and wandering around CVS, I impulsively drove to Petco on La Brea, you know, just to pet a dog or two. I bonded with an old lady over lizards and snakes, made faces at the birds for Miss Kendra's sake, tried in vain to find the rats cute, marveled at the cost of bunnies (Holy Moley!) and guinea pigs (Land Sakes!), I decided on the perfect pet for me.

So, without further ado--Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:
Nacho LibreSo named because he's blue and red like the mask Nacho wore, and because I like to say "Nachooooo."

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Free Ride

I tossed and turned all night, worried about Jamie and how much it was going to cost, and how this would get me behind in my bills and when will I ever get out of the hole. Consequently, I had about an hour of sleep before getting up at stupid o'clock to call AAA and get Jamie to the doctor.
I took the fastest shower of my life, threw my hair up in a bun, and ran out to the car to await my chariot, driven by Cueball McTowtruck. He was talking to me but I was so tired and the sun was bright and I heard "Blah blah end of my shift blah blah you're not in a hurry, are you?" I called the dealership and told them we were on our way. I soon figured out what Cueball (he was bald) was trying to tell me. It was the end of his shift and rather than drive me and Jamie the 7 miles to the VW dealership downtown, he drove us to the tow company's headquarters in Atwater Village so that he could clock out and another driver could take us to the dealership. Frankly, I was far too exhausted to care, but it seemed pretty silly to me. It would have taken just as much time to drive me downtown and come back.

I explained the problem to the boys at VW of Downtown and they agreed that it sounded like the same problem as the last time, and guess what? It was a misfire on the third cylinder. I don't know exactly what that means, but I know it's something about a spark plug and that means the repairs were FREEEEEEEEE! Woo Hoo! And, I got a car wash and bag of popcorn while I when I came to pick her up. I was so happy about the $0.00 repairs that I celebrated with some spicy fruit.
I can't believe I lived 42 years without knowing the taste extravaganza that is chopped fruit with lime and chili powder. Oh so tasty, and the man squeezed lots of lime and added lots of chili to make them extra specially good. Is Cucumber a fruit? Who cares, it's good.

It gave me the zip I needed to work late and bust a move on cleaning and organizing the storage room.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Shout! Shout! Let It All Out!

I was driving home and I stopped at a light and Jamie stopped more abruptly than was appropriate for the pressure I put on the brake pedal. While sitting at the light, she started to idle funny, kind of shaking really hard. I revved a few times, begged her to please make it home, begged the cars to let me turn and then the check engine light started blinking. I did some more begging and she managed to make it home. There's a horrible burning smell and it seems like the exact same problem as the last which the Volkswagen guys told me was fixed. Not cool!!! So, tomorrow, I'll have to call AAA and ask them to tow me to the mechanic, take a bus to work, and hope it doesn't cost too much to fix.

I won't be at SnB tomorrow and damn it, I had plans for this paycheck.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

If I Only Had A Brain...

Act of brainlessness #1:
Well, first of all, I finished the hand warmers I was making--HOORAY!But I made the second one a month or so after the first and I may have forgotten which size needles I used for the first--D'oh!I was going to pick up stitches at the cuff of the smaller one and knit a few more rounds until they matched, but when you look at them up close, they are obviously two different gauges. Oh well, lesson learned--either attach a note or knit them one after the other instead of waiting a month or two.

Act of brainlessness #2:
Technically, the first part of this act is really more the result of my lack of coordination than brain power. However, the second part is pure moron. So, here's what happened: I bought a new pair of shoes (exhibit A) and they have a supergrip rubber sole (exhibit B).

The supergrip sole catches on the thick pile carpet every once in a while, especially if I'm tired and not picking up my feet properly. On more than a few occasions, I've stumbled embarrassingly. I was discussing this with our receptionist today and laughing about it before walking back to my office...where my feet caught on the carpet and I went face first into the window. Laughing, I went back to the lobby to tell Mirna and recreate it for her--you know, because it was pretty hilarious--when, in the act of recreating, my shoe caught again and I went face first into the doors of our suite, HARD. Really, really hard. So hard that my jaw hurt and I was kind of woozy. Yeah, I'm a doofus.

Act of brainlessness #3:
Nothing yet, but the night is young.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Sorry Susie

Nothing says "we've given up on you and we're spending your college fund as we speak," like a toy maid set.


This guy in a Dodge Magnum, blaring rap music, blew past me on the onramp to the 101 when the light was clearly red and he did NOT have anyone else in the car with him making it okay to bypass the meter. Later (because really, where was he going to go on the 101 at 8:30am) I saw the driver. He was all slouched and looking cool--in his STATION WAGON!! Dude, you cannot pull off cool in the family truckster. Calling it "Magnum" may make YOU think it has something to do with a big penis, but it does not change the fact that you are driving a station wagon. Now get over yourself and drive like a normal person.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Enough already

Why? Why do we have so many commercials for Erectile Dysfunction medications? We have the smug "love in the afternoon" ads, the "Gramdma and Grandpa want to get it on but the kids have come to visit" ads, and the "younger wife with handsome, yet challenged, older husband" ads. But now, now they have gone too far. Viva Viagra?!?!?!? First of all, those guys are far too happy for men who can't get it up or keep it up. Second, the "I can't wait to pop some pills and go home to shtup my woman" lyrics are an abomination. Third, seriously, six horny middle aged men in a roadhouse with no women in sight happily singing about getting laid? Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! (Well, if they were gay men, it would be-- it'd be a Tony award winning musical, but you get picture.) Instead of sitting around singing about it, just go home. Arrgh!

And while I'm on my soapbox, there's that Celebrex ad--you've seen it, it's animated words that form a man and his dog? That ad runs for like five minutes, I swear, and it's like listening to a lecture. BO-ring! For no good reason, the line "let's dive deeper" just sticks in my craw.

I'm annoyed with advertisements for prescription medications to begin with, but enough with the horndogs already.

Monday, August 06, 2007

They never call

I have resisted the urge to post the links or Google searches that brought people to my blog because they're usually the same three things, but today there was one I just can't resist.

How long will it take for scars to hear from insect bites?

Those lousy insect bites...they get the scars all liquored up, take advantage of them and then never call again. I'm sure they meant "heal." Either way, I'm not sure how it led to my blog.

Other winners:
  • Daughter sneezed--And you Googled that?
  • Hal Fishman--Poor Hal has colon cancer that has spread to his liver. The news is not the same without him
  • Scary guy was watching me--Yikes! He wasn't watching me, though.
  • Country Singer had to pee--You gotta know when to hold it...
  • I'm cranky--Sorry to hear it.
It's 9:30 and I'm sleepy. Goodnight everybody!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Like the proverbial one-legged man in that contest

Sorry I've been so non-bloggy lately. I have so much to do at work and not nearly enough hours in the day. I've been staying late and still not getting anything done. Arrghh!

Tuesday, one of the gals introduced me to this website, Peter Answers, that mysteriously answers any question you pose to it, provided you petition him correctly and don't forget your question mark. Apparently, Peter is a fussy queen. Anywho, we played with it at work until IT put a block on that website and not once did Peter answer my questions. He's all "you have no faith" and "stop trying to prove me wrong." Yet, Sarah, the gal who showed me the site in the first place, could get all kinds of answers--correct ones, every time. Hmmm. The creepiest response I got was something like "I only answer when Emily's spirit is in the room." We were all kinds of freaked out and I kept teasing everyone that a spirit was in the computer, like that movie with Virginia Madsen and that guy with the beautiful blue eyes and the computer had Harold's voice. [no one knew what I was talking about.] Then, today, one of the guys revealed the secret of Peter and his amazing answers. Oh, that Sarah....I'm going to get her but good.
Apropos of nothing, I was looking up some promotional items for work and found this little gem(see below). What company would order adult sippy cups as a giveaway item?

That is all. I'll see my knittas at the Farmer's Market tomorrow.