Gnomes and spiders

I woke up in pain this morning as if someone, or some gnomes, had beaten me in my sleep. The stiff neck I can chalk up to sleeping funny, but it doesn't explain the bruise on my hip or the pain in my side. I'm thinking the gnomes want a raise or more liquor. Either way, they're pissed and I'm feeling the brunt of their outrage. Lousy gnomes (I hope they don't read my blog).

I got in the shower hoping that hot water would loosen up the muscles in my neck (it didn't) and I saw a little Daddy-Longleg in the corner. He was slowly descending into the shower and I told him, "if you get any lower, you'll get wet and die." I'm not sure but I think he flipped me off. He got lower and lower until...
I think I'll leave a bottle of Jamison on the coffee table tonight (gnomes love whisky) and see if I'm in less pain tomorrow.