Thursday, June 05, 2008

Numbers, words and the gush of warm water

Numbers vs. Words
The other day I was trying to write a letter from scratch with very little to go on. I was stumped because my brain was suffering from my lack of sleep. The Roy, who is great with this sort of thing, was unavailable for comment. I asked Criss, who is always well-spoken in business situations, and she replied "Finance Degree." I have always believed (based purely on my own shortcomings and personal observations, mind you) that people are either Numbers Folk or Words Folk. I am Word Folk, without a doubt. I love words. I love phrases and finding the right combinations of words (although this blog probably doesn't showcase that). I can and have spent hours looking up words in the dictionary. Randy Lawler and I used to spend the whole evening in the box office at the Sunset 5 playing word games with a beaten up copy of the Merriam-Webster Pocket Dictionary ('cause we're nerds). But if you ask me to add 2 + 2, you'd better give me a calculator. Okay, I'm not really that bad--I did grow up with Schoolhouse Rock--but I'm pretty lousy at anything to do with Math (and to think I was a bookkeeper--HA!).
An ex-boyfriend couldn't spell "bargain" (his attempt--"bargin") or "ricochet" when the word was right next to him on a movie poster, but he was a mathematical whiz. My goal is to be surrounded by Numbers Folk. They can do my taxes and I will always be the best speller.

Upon the suggestion of Dr. Woolanthropy, I am using a Neti Pot to clean out my blocked up sinuses. Yep, it's just as much fun as it looks. I had to do it over the tub because I'm sure if I looked at myself in the mirror over the sink, I'd laugh and end up drowning in salt water. So, the first irrigation went well and I could take a deep breath for the first time in a week. "Ah, this is awesome," I said. "Dr. Woolanthropy is genius." What she and the instruction manual failed to warn me about was that once it starts draining, it doesn't stop. **GROSS ALERT** I sat up quickly about two hours after I used the pot and a gush of saline water and boogers came running out of my nose. Lovely! The next day, I didn't get a good angle and did almost drown myself. This morning was more successful.

Hey Kids! Guess what you shouldn't do after your nasal passages are wide open? You shouldn't take a deep breath with a mouthful of chili powder-coated fruit. Chili burns those tender and open-for-the-first-time-in-weeks nostrils something fierce.

[Boo, Hiss--The Red Wings won the Stanley Cup afterall. ]


Ellen Bloom said...

Dr. Woolanthropy is a CLEANSE expert!

Just look at her! Gorgeous.

woolanthropy said...

So glad you are able to breathe. The neti pot can provide great relief and obviously get the stuff a flowing. Out, out bad mucus!