Friday, July 28, 2006

I think I need a good cry

I'm feeling jangly. I can't think of another word for it. I'm jittery, but not from coffee. I haven't had any more coffee than usual. I'm easily annoyed, but it's not PMS. I'm in a relatively good mood, in spite of this feeling. I just feel...oh, I don't know. Anxious? Apprehensive? Like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop but no shoe dropped in the first place? I can't explain. I need something but I'm not sure what. And, no, it's not sex, because if that were the case I'd be feeling like this all the time.

Usually when I feel like this, I go and talk to my friend Nick. Not that he offers any pearls of wisdom, but he has a way of putting things into perspective that calms my nerves. He listens. He appears to be paying attention. He asks all the right questions. Granted, if you asked him what I said the next day, he'd have no clue, but in the moment, he's good to have around. Plus his voice has a very soothing quality. Thursdays are the day that we (the circle of friends and acquaintances in which he runs) usually get together. I called him at 10:15 and got a strange digital recording on his cell phone. That's not unusual, as his home phone answering machine usually plays some quirky song instead of the "I'm not here" message. I hate the "song in lieu of message" types, but I accept it as one of his endearing quirks. I called his work number and it rang so long the fax machine picked up (always a treat). I waited until 11:00 and called his cell again, only to get the same bizarre digital recording. WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING ANY PHONES??? I left a message to call me back. He didn't call back. I got mad.

Those of you who know the Nick friendship saga know that it's not unusual that he didn't call back, but last night it really, really, REALLY hurt my feelings. It shouldn't have. He was probably busy, or with his girlfriend, or out somewhere. Whatever. It's not like he owes me or anything, but of all the times for him to be himself, last night was not the night. I really needed to hear his voice last night. Damn man.

I think I'll just open a bottle of wine when I get home.

1 comment:

miss kendra said...

here, you need one of these.