Monday, July 24, 2006

What did I do to deserve this?

The air conditioning in my office is now officially blown. The store next door, which is partially cooled by the same unit, is now muggier than a water buffalo's arse, and my office is downright balmy. To make matters worse, I work with men. Lots of men. Men who sweat. Men with questionable hygiene. The whole building smells like a locker room. I walked to the store next door to use the bathroom, because the toilet on my side of the building is blocked up (naturally), and I could not breathe. By the time I made it back to my office I was in a full-on asthma attack. I'm thinking of refusing to return to work until this situation is improved. I believe I have a valid excuse.

And one of my neighbors used my trash can this week and then left it on the curb, making it appear as if I'm the irresponsible one. I don't know what ticked me off more--the fact that they used my trash can when every unit in the complex has an assigned can with the number clearly written on top, or that the bastard didn't return it to the back of the building where it belongs. grumble grumble grumble.

Oh, and the ants have arrived. Yippee!

6 comments:

Roy said...

I’ve been told that the natural human scent can be quite sensual. A young man I went to school with shunned socially accepted grooming habits. He was a very upbeat person and fun to be around, even with his smell.

One thing I could never figure out though was why the women always seemed to flock around him. Could they not perceive his reek? Or did he make up for it in other ways?

I saw him one evening as I made my way to the bar. As the establishment I was going to was of a classier sort than I am accustomed, I had cleaned myself up a bit. I even applied cologne, something I have probably done less than 100 times in my life. Upon sighting me, my enthusiastic and dirty friend embraced me and, to my dismay, embedded his scent deep into the fabric of my shirt.

This concerned me quite a bit as I continued to the bar. The last thing I wanted hip young strangers to think was that my grooming habits were sub-par. However, on arrival, I was surprised to find that the ladies were all up-ins in a manner never experienced before or since. Was it something in the air, the music the DJ was playing? Perhaps the phase of the moon? Or was it, just maybe, my inherited musk?

In your case though, I’d make an attempt at going home. The last thing you need is a bunch of strange ladies being all up-ins.

MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

I had a fling once with a very nice man. I had a crush on him in HS and re-met at the 10 yr reunion. I really liked him - smart, funny, active, adventurous, etc., ad nauseum. But I just couldn't cope b/c he didn't wear deodorant. Sorry to blow you theory, Roy.

LA - Our trash (we have a small dumpster) hasn't been picked up in 2 weeks - there are 17 units in our building. You do the math.

I think, however, your office violated OSHA standards. I don't know which, but make some sh*t up. Get a paid vaca.

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