Friday, August 18, 2006

Consumer product testing--Part 3

I'm back from the dreaded jury duty and work just isn't doing it for me today. Actually, I'm on my lunch break, lest you all think me to be some sort of slacker.

Last Thursday, on my first day of jury service, I took their "dress code" instructions to heart and wore a business casual ensemble. On my feet were the cruel shoes . In the short time it took to walk from the parking structure to the court house, my feet were bleeding and each step was a feat of sheer determination. I was poor that day, and begged the man at the jury room counter for a bandage. His Band-Aid brand sheer plastic did the trick, but slipped around throughout the day. The next day, having procured funds, I stopped at the pharmacy for more bandages. Always one to go for the bright shiny objects, my eyes immediately focused on the high tech-ish Activeflex Band-Aid bandages. "Inspired by skin," it says. "360 degree flexibility." Now, I don't know what sort of wound would require 360 degree flexibility, but I like their anticipation of just such a requirement. I had to have them. Sure they were more expensive than the plain old plastic banded ones. You're paying for the science.
So, how did they fare? Let's see..."Inspired by skin" means "will rip open like your own tender flesh did when rubbed against the heel of your shoe." "360 degree flexibility" means "if you take the bandage and twist it completely around, it won't rip. However, if you put it across your Achilles tendon and flex your foot, it will bunch up like your grandmother's panties."
The packaging also said one should leave the bandage on for several days for maximum healing, but these were off by the end of the day. Am I just harder on my bandages? Does my skin not stick?

I ended up making a second trip to the pharmacy for some plain old sheer plastic bandages and they are staying on just fine.


your said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

I don't get the cruel shoes joke. Is he saying that women just *like* to be tortured? In any event, I'm sorry they're making you dress nicely. It sucks when people expect you to be all professional and stuff. Believe me, I KNOW.

Laurie Ann said...

I think "Cruel Shoes" is more a commentary on the salesman's technique. He made them seem so special and one-of-a-kind that the woman bought them even though they were tortuous.