(Deep breathe and sigh)
To be perfectly honest, as is my Sagittarian nature, this was all my fault and I have no one to blame but myself. I feel like an idiot, which I am, and almost don't want to admit what happened, which I will anyway.
My car registration was past due. You see, Jamie needed a smog check. I didn't think she'd pass with all her engine problems and I didn't have the money to make the necessary repairs. I didn't realize you could pay the registration without the smog check, so I just didn't pay the registration. I park on the street. I got a series of parking tickets. I got pulled over by handsome officers who issued a citation. Still, none of these things seem to convince me that I needed to get my shit together. Because I'm lazy and you know, it's just a pain.
So, the government decided to teach me a lesson and impounded my car. Because I don't have $800 in spare cash handy, I had to get a loan from work. The boys in the finance department have no sense of urgency, so I couldn't leave here until 3:45. I had to go to the DMV, the Department of Transportation, and the impound lot in that order. I figured I could circumvent the DOT by paying my parking tickets online and printing receipts. I figured wrong.
Friday was a bust because traffic sucked and it took Criss (my angel of a friend who shuttled my stupid ass all around town) an hour and a half just to get to Hollywood. So, I woke up bright and early today to do it all. I waited outside the DMV on Cole until they opened. I got in the "Start Here" line and looked for the right forms until a nice (at the DMV??) lady told me it was License and testing only at that location. I had to go to the other DMV on Formosa for registration. Crap. After a short bus ride to Formosa and five minutes at the DMV, Jamie was registered (pending smog check). Another short bus ride later, I was at the tow yard where another nice lady (it's a trend) told me I'd have to go to the DOT after all and get a release form. Crap Crap!
A bus and train ride later, I was at the DOT where I could not find the entrance. Seriously. The sign on Vermont said to "enter on New Hampshire." On New Hampshire, there was only a parking garage, no pedestrian entrance. One must walk up the parking levels to level three to find the entrance to the DOT office. It's a quest. Congratulations, Frodo. Here's your release form. Another two buses, another couple of blocks to walk, and I was at the impound lot, where I paid the fees and got my poor Jamie out of the pokey.
The whole affair took four hours, $7.50 in bus fare and a whole lot more in other fees. I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever let my registration lapse again. Never. Ever.