San Diego Momma posted the writing prompt for Tuesday: My First Crush. Do you remember yours? I'm not sure if he's my first crush, but he is the first one I remember. His name? Ricky Ruvo. Ah, Ricky. I was about seven; he was 12ish. He lived up the street and around the corner in a house on a hill. I'm not sure if I can describe him in detail other than brown hair and brown eyes; I honestly can't remember exactly what he looked like as a kid, but for some reason, I thought he was the bees knees. He was tasty in my young mind and I loved the days when Ricky would come down to play at our house. Ricky had a younger brother who was a year older than me named Randy. Randy was a nerdy pain in the ass and kind of a jerk. Their mom was great, though. We girls used to hang out with her and help her clean. (what was wrong with me?) I think she just liked having girls around.
One day, the boys were playing Joust on their bicycles using my friend Joann and me as shields. Ricky used me (dirty) and I was thrilled. Then, and I don't remember the circumstances, Ricky called me ugly. What? Me? I hauled off and kicked him square in the balls. I kicked him good. Then I got a serious talking to from my mother about the dangers of kicking boys in the jewels and how I could hurt his chances of being a father*. (yeah, sometimes Mom just didn't leave it at "it's bad.") Shortly after this incident, Ricky went off to boarding school and I didn't see him for a long time. When we did finally see Ricky again, he walked funny. I was convinced that this was caused by my kicking him in the balls and I have NEVER kicked a boy/man there ever again. Actually, Ricky had been hit by a car or something like that while he was away at school and the new walk was the result of injuries.
Ricky and Randy were gone a lot at school and we didn't see them much, but I eventually moved on. Then, Randy came home from school. Something happened to nerdy, annoying Randy. Suddenly, he was hot...like smokin' hot. Joann and I were both kind of slack-jawed. Where had he been hiding that? Wow! Of course, he was still kind of a jerk so there's that.
*Don't worry. My kick has not hindered his ability to father children.
One day, the boys were playing Joust on their bicycles using my friend Joann and me as shields. Ricky used me (dirty) and I was thrilled. Then, and I don't remember the circumstances, Ricky called me ugly. What? Me? I hauled off and kicked him square in the balls. I kicked him good. Then I got a serious talking to from my mother about the dangers of kicking boys in the jewels and how I could hurt his chances of being a father*. (yeah, sometimes Mom just didn't leave it at "it's bad.") Shortly after this incident, Ricky went off to boarding school and I didn't see him for a long time. When we did finally see Ricky again, he walked funny. I was convinced that this was caused by my kicking him in the balls and I have NEVER kicked a boy/man there ever again. Actually, Ricky had been hit by a car or something like that while he was away at school and the new walk was the result of injuries.
Ricky and Randy were gone a lot at school and we didn't see them much, but I eventually moved on. Then, Randy came home from school. Something happened to nerdy, annoying Randy. Suddenly, he was hot...like smokin' hot. Joann and I were both kind of slack-jawed. Where had he been hiding that? Wow! Of course, he was still kind of a jerk so there's that.
*Don't worry. My kick has not hindered his ability to father children.
1 comment:
Ricky Ruvo is the perfect first crush name.
OR the perfect porn star name.
Except now that his balls are crushed, he's probably not in that line of work.
XO.
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