Alas, Perky was shortlived

I had to cover for the receptionist for the first couple hours today. Last night, sleep was elusive, so I was not exactly awake when I hit the shower. I left late, arrived at work late, and didn't have time to get coffee before sitting at the front desk. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. No breakfast, either. Looking better and better. Then, Miss Once-a-week Employee came in and started asking questions about something about which I told her I was waiting to speak with the boss. "But it's approved," she insisted. I patiently explained that I understand, but I still can't use the company card without asking her first. That wasn't good enough so she did things herself, except she couldn't complete it because we needed to pay with the card. Then, Miss Condescending proceeds to instruct me on how to fill out a credit card form and fax it to the people. Are you f-ing kidding me, lady?

After I cleaned up the dead body and found her head (it had rolled under the coffee table), I was able to sweet talk one of the guys into getting me a cup of coffee and all was right in the world. Almost. My hair was unruly and my knee popped (it does that). Then Criss made nachos and the heavens opened and a voice said, "Thou shalt share these with thy friend." They were pretty damn good. I told her to trademark them. Then I may have made an inappropriate remark about the Pontiff, like if we had Pope Billy Bob the First at the Vatican, those nachos would be used for Communion. Pope jokes, while usually hilarious, win you no favor in the afterlife.